timbell25 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 There's this guy who is so special to me. We met during our studies abroad... we were never officially a couple, but we are always together and we're special to one another. I guess one of the reasons why we are not together really is that we know that we are going to get separated anyway. We both agreed on this... it wasn't just the time to be together. We're still a bit young. He has yet to finish his university, and I'm still onto my first work. We just can't afford any sacrifices right now. We don't even know when would be the next time we would see each other, we plan to see each other of course, but no definite date. Anyway, this guy means so much to me. We just have this amazing connection that I feel that I'll never feel with anyone. We're just so comfortable when we're together. At some point before, I even thought he was my soul mate. No one gets me like he gets me. And even if we're from different countries, there are too much coincidences in our lives... it's even possible that I've crossed path with him in my small town in my own country before us meeting. But then, after 8 months, we have to go home to our respective countries and be back to our lives:/ Do you think it's wrong that I did not push this commitment thing on him? At first, I didn't want to force anything on us two, because there's really a big possibility that we are going to fail since this is perfectly not the best time for us to be together, and I can't lose him or I can't bear the thought of saying goodbye to him forever. I guess some part of me inside is hoping that our paths would still cross in the near future, and maybe we could finally end up together. But it's been so hard. It's only been a month, we skype daily, but I feel the difficulty of a long distance relationship...even if we're not even together. It's so hard to miss someone so much and not even know what they're doing most days. It's just so sad. And since we're not physically together anymore, we don't share the same moments like we used to, from 4 hours of skyping, sometimes we're down to half an hour... we're starting to run out of things to say after the normal "what's up with you right now?" and the usual cheesy banters. I know that the time we spent together was surreal. I know that those times when he said he loves me, I believe it. We did talk about us before, the what-ifs about pursuing a future together. He talks about me meeting his parents, and things like that. But I think he's more scared in committing I am. He wants to keep this, our friendship right now, and so do I, but sometimes, because of the distance, I believe, I tend to feel insecure. Am I just being his second option? Shouldn't he be fighting for me, shouldn't he be irritated at the thought that it's possible that I'd be with another guy? I don't really know what to do. Should I just play it cool everyday and just act friendly and unaffected? Should I be reasonable and stick to the idea that it's not really the perfect time for us, or should I just move on? What's going on in his head? I don't know the gravity of an LDR since it's my first time for all these. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Welcome to LS timebell. What you're describing sounds like a LD friendship between two close friends. You may have strong feelings for one another, but it takes a lot more than that to make a relationship. It concerns me slightly that you say you're already running out of things to say after a only a month - at least if you wanted to pursue a relationship with him. I've been LD with my guy for 3 1/2 years and we struggle to keep our Skype time down to a level that we can afford because we always have so much to say. I think you probably have to accept that friends is what you are for now and just enjoy your half hour chats. It's difficult and sad if you want more but, if you value his friendship, why lose that? If you find you can't handle being his LD friend then perhaps it is time to call it quits. Link to post Share on other sites
Author timbell25 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 Hi Tiger! Thanks for the reply. I guess you are right.. this is definitely a long distance between two close friends. And I guess if we're both not ready... moreover if the guy ISN' T ready, i shouldn't force it. I'm just afraid that we would drift apart. I think it just needs time to get used to just being mere friends. Wow, 3 and a half years! Do you see each other quite often? Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 A LDR is not something that can be forced. You both have to be very sure it's what you want and then put in 100% effort. That's not what's happening in your case. Enjoy your friendship, since it's obviously important to you, and if you do drift apart, c'est la vie! My guy and I don't see each other anywhere near as often as we'd like to since we're 12,000 miles apart but we talk on Skype for two hours most days. We're luckier than most because our relationship runs pretty smoothly and we get at least a month together when we do visit. It's always worth the wait. Link to post Share on other sites
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