latte10 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 So I'm with possibly the best guy I've met, we have everything in common, think the same, talk the same, we love the same things. He's the only one i can be fully comfortable with, i can be manly with no makeup on and he still tells me im beautiful haha. We are in our 20's, we talk about marriage and children and sharing a future together, I think he's my soul mate. That said, he has to do national service (army) in june in a different country for 2 years and I will only be allowed to see him about 1 week a year (depends on post, 7 is the average number of days off they get). He may not get internet - depends on where his camp is - and it may be a text message/letter writing/parcel receiving relationship for the next 2 years. I love him so much im willing to wait the two years and see him just a week a year, we've told each other this and are 100% committed, neither of us have ever made a promise we couldn't keep. But there's this one thing that keeps nagging me in the back of my mind and it makes me sad, even depressed sometimes when i think about it. I am almost 100% sure we will both change and not be in love with whoever we become in 2 years time. Let me explain. We are both fun, dynamic people, always adapting to situations eg. whenever we argue, we solve whatever it is almost straightaway if it's in our control because we are willing to change. By nature, we are the opposite of stubborn. We don't mind change, most of the time it changes the pace of things/makes things fresh and, i don't know about him, but i actually like it even if i'm the one who has to make the effort as i know we get closer and happier as a result of complying with one another. They range from little things like hair (my parents are VERY judgemental, he needed to get his long hair short or they would disapprove) to huge things like career (less pay for a better work/life balance and nicer manager but overall we are comfortable and happy). Changing together, we are sort of still the same, moving together onto new pages but still together on the same page (?) It's a bit hard to put into words. But i think with the distance and time apart we will be on completely different pages, and i dont know if we'll be able to adapt to whatever situation we find ourselves in then. We may be completely different people. Nonetheless, i have yet to meet or hear from someone of anyone like him. I feel like breaking up would be giving up the best thing that has ever happened to me. Would you: a) LDR and see how it goes - if bad then distance means we'll grow apart and probably never see each other again. b) break up now and have 6 months to TRY and be friends (if that is even possible - you could write a thesis on that), possibly keep in touch in the future. c) break up when we find out we can't love each other cos we are completely different people in the same bodies. d) suggest an option/possible scenario that could take place! This is my first post, I literally signed up just to post this so i could hear what other people think. Apart from my tiny circle of brutally rude, kind & loving friends who i consider my surrogate family, i say people on the net are always the most honest you're gonna get. Please give me your honest opinion even if it's ugly! Sincere thanks =] Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Mjam, I like those threads! I'd say, absolutely go for it, you're in love! Prophylactic break ups??? What BS! But err... I won't sugarcoat it for you. It's going to be a b*tch. Two years, ~7 days of visits, other than that just texts... shhh... It'll be tought. I did 12 months with my current gf before we first met. But we weren't exclusive, I don't think that compares even remotely with your situation. Are you sure he has to do his military service? He could also just desert or try get out on the medical path, or bribe... I mean, I'd look into it before leaving the love of my life for 2 years of forced solitude. Btw, would you mind posting in this thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/362756-numbers-hard-facts Regards, good luck, and keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
Author latte10 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Yeahh unfortunately he does.. he's south korean and its compulsory for all men in his country =[ dammiT Yeah better give it a shot than give up before its even started i guess! Thanks for replying! I will definitely fill out your stats =] Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I say give a go and see what happens. Its better to try and fail then fail because you never tried. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 You are on a LDR forum asking whether you should risk a LDR! Since you are already so much in love with one another, I doubt there is anyone here who would tell you to give up without trying. My guy and I had a spell of 11 months apart - it was tough but we survived! What harm will it do just to see if you can make it work? If you can't, then break up, but at least you will know you gave it a fair shot. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 A friend of mine is going into his 5th year of LDR, with the same person. Europe - Far East. So yes, it's certainly doable. It really depends on the people involved. Family and friends can be a big help or a serious threat, of course. Thanks for having posted in http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/362756-numbers-hard-facts good luck to you, and come back whenever you need help Link to post Share on other sites
amayana Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Give it a go. It's going to be incredibly hard but at least you won't ask yourself the infamous 'What if...' If you both feel so strongly for each other you should at least try Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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