I feel so stupid, so angry and sad

[ana0pera]

I got back not too long ago from a great trip with my SO. We had an argument halfway through because even though he was the one to say we should be exclusive a while back, I found evidence that he was flirting with other girls via text messaging. He knew how much this hurt me and promised that he was committed to me and would stop flirting with girls online, via SMS, IRL, etc and asked me to give him a second chance/trust him. I wanted this to work because I really care about him so I did that.

 

Well tonight I logged into the old dating site we met on and found out that he upgraded his membership from standard (free) to premium!! It hadn't really bothered me that he still had this account as he rarely checked it and standard users can't really do anything, plus I still had mine (granted, my account is hidden so I can only see other user profiles, they can't see mine or contact me) but I was going to suggest that we delete both of ours. I know this upgrade was done after the trip we had.

 

Looks like I've been played, and I feel like an idiot. I don't even know what to do. It hurts too much to confront him. I want to send him an angry message or call him right this instant and yell/cry (although it's 5am there) but I am just angrily numb and feel so stupid and angry. He lied to me and more importantly hurt me... that is the one thing I asked him not to do, the one thing he promised he would never do. I don't even understand why he has strung me along for all this time, spend so much to come see me, act so affectionate towards me, and be interested in me/my life/my goals if he was just going to look for other girls anyway. I've blocked him from skype, deleted the App we use to send SMS, and now I just have to block him from email I guess. It hurts so much and I can't believe this is happening and that he is such an a**

[HeavenOrHell]

I'm so sorry

If it were me I would tell him how I feel about it, angry, hurt, disappointed....then walk away and stop contact.

 

Some people do a little harmless flirting, but not sexual, and it means nothing and not intended to go anywhere, but this sounds more than that if he's texting them to flirt.

 

I know with the site I met my partner on I left my profile up for a while after but changed it to not available, and looking for friends only, and told him I'd done that and he did the same, because we do like meeting like minded friends with the same interests, the site we met on wasn't one of the usual dating sites, but one specifically for like minded people with same interests, otherwise if it was just an ordinarily dating site specifically for meeting a partner we'd both have removed our profiles.

 

Please don't feel like an idiot, he's the idiot.

 

How long have you been together, how often did you meet up?

 

((((hugs))))

 

 

I got back not too long ago from a great trip with my SO. We had an argument halfway through because even though he was the one to say we should be exclusive a while back, I found evidence that he was flirting with other girls via text messaging. He knew how much this hurt me and promised that he was committed to me and would stop flirting with girls online, via SMS, IRL, etc and asked me to give him a second chance/trust him. I wanted this to work because I really care about him so I did that.

 

Well tonight I logged into the old dating site we met on and found out that he upgraded his membership from standard (free) to premium!! It hadn't really bothered me that he still had this account as he rarely checked it and standard users can't really do anything, plus I still had mine (granted, my account is hidden so I can only see other user profiles, they can't see mine or contact me) but I was going to suggest that we delete both of ours. I know this upgrade was done after the trip we had.

 

Looks like I've been played, and I feel like an idiot. I don't even know what to do. It hurts too much to confront him. I want to send him an angry message or call him right this instant and yell/cry (although it's 5am there) but I am just angrily numb and feel so stupid and angry. He lied to me and more importantly hurt me... that is the one thing I asked him not to do, the one thing he promised he would never do. I don't even understand why he has strung me along for all this time, spend so much to come see me, act so affectionate towards me, and be interested in me/my life/my goals if he was just going to look for other girls anyway. I've blocked him from skype, deleted the App we use to send SMS, and now I just have to block him from email I guess. It hurts so much and I can't believe this is happening and that he is such an a**

[ana0pera]

As I started writing this message, I sent him an email telling him what I found and how it made me feel and within minutes he emailed me saying that he won a free 24-hr trial period and that he never uses the site, and then forwarded me the email they sent him. So he wasn't lying, unless he became really good at photoshop/illustrator and computers more generally overnight. That is a relief!

 

I am going to tell him that I think we should both delete of our accounts though.

 

We've been together for almost two years, one of those years exclusive, and met twice--wanted to meet more often but the last year a lot of unexpected things came up in our lives that required us to put extra time into family and/or work/school. We are hoping that next year will be different.

[HeavenOrHell]

Hurrah, that's a relief!

 

I was hoping there was some explanation.

 

Sounds like the flirting has stopped now, and that he's made it clear it's you he wants.

 

 

As I started writing this message, I sent him an email telling him what I found and how it made me feel and within minutes he emailed me saying that he won a free 24-hr trial period and that he never uses the site, and then forwarded me the email they sent him. So he wasn't lying, unless he became really good at photoshop/illustrator and computers more generally overnight. That is a relief!

 

I am going to tell him that I think we should both delete of our accounts though.

 

We've been together for almost two years, one of those years exclusive, and met twice--wanted to meet more often but the last year a lot of unexpected things came up in our lives that required us to put extra time into family and/or work/school. We are hoping that next year will be different.