Coping Strategies?

[amitooclingy]

If you all have read my previous posts you know that my LDR isn't going that well right now. I'm starting to think the worst has yet to come and i'm having extreme difficulty coping with what might happen, and what is happening, and what i think is happening. I just need to know what you all have done that is successful as far as being calming and relaxing.

 

-EAP

[foreverM]

If you all have read my previous posts you know that my LDR isn't going that well right now. I'm starting to think the worst has yet to come and i'm having extreme difficulty coping with what might happen, and what is happening, and what i think is happening. I just need to know what you all have done that is successful as far as being calming and relaxing.

 

-EAP

 

I can honestly say for myself that keeping my mind occupied as much as possible has helped. Working out has been helping me a great deal with coping with my problem. I also try to help others with problems of their own to help me forget about mine for awhile. Hence why I am trying to help you right now lol.

 

I can also tell you that looking at any messages,pics,listening to songs etc that make you think of him dont help. Especially if what you're feeling is accurate and the relationship is going south.

 

Hoping for the best for you

 

L

[Life'sGood]

I can honestly say for myself that keeping my mind occupied as much as possible has helped.

 

I think you're overthinking it. Try to focus on something other than your relationship.

[justwhoiam]

I just need to know what you all have done that is successful as far as being calming and relaxing.

Unlike foreverM, I seem not to be able to do anything when things are that bad with him. I really can't function... my work is affected... I cry and then watch movies, like movie marathons... One after the other. The movies are usually about feelings, which you might think makes it even worse. It's like when your nose is bleeding and there will be people suggesting to keep your nose up, so that blood won't keep coming, but doctors usually say you need to bend your head down and let it all out, which is just the opposite. Sorry for the bad analogy, but I couldn't come up with anything better right now. Everyone copes their own way... I don't feel like talking about anything, so I'm not good company. But I agree with foreverM about helping others. Try not to let that affect you too much. I guess that also depends on personality and on the level of involvement you have with this guy.

[foreverM]

Unlike foreverM, I seem not to be able to do anything when things are that bad with him. I really can't function... my work is affected... I cry and then watch movies, like movie marathons... One after the other. The movies are usually about feelings, which you might think makes it even worse. It's like when your nose is bleeding and there will be people suggesting to keep your nose up, so that blood won't keep coming, but doctors usually say you need to bend your head down and let it all out, which is just the opposite. Sorry for the bad analogy, but I couldn't come up with anything better right now. Everyone copes their own way... I don't feel like talking about anything, so I'm not good company. But I agree with foreverM about helping others. Try not to let that affect you too much. I guess that also depends on personality and on the level of involvement you have with this guy.

 

I have had those moments as well. Ill be good all day and a song will come on out of nowhere that reminds me of her/us and bam it hits me and Im blubbering in the truck like I never had before. Im no good to anyone in that state especially myself so I try to pull my big boy pants up right away and tell myself "its not my fault, Im not the one whos questioning my love for her or how much is involved"

 

Its not healthy to keep it in either, nothing wrong with having little outbursts about it...it can help you cope as well IMO. and I wouldnt consider you human if you didnt

 

L

 

L

[AngrySpider]

Heh...

 

In my case,virtually nothing helps.I suffer from some anxiety issues and depression so I'm almost stuck in "looped thought mode." I constantly think and think and there's no "off" switch.(God,it would be nice if there was!) However,I will offer what I try doing to help.

 

-When my insecurities get the best of me (especially when I don't hear from my girlfriend for a day or more),I try to challenge the thoughts that she might be up to no good with the thoughts of how the conversations between us still have loving tones or things that she's told me which lean toward her being legit.Sometimes it does help.Other times,it doesn't.

-I have a program on my computer where I can make audio recordings.I'll hit the 'record' button and just talk....and talk.....and talk.Sometimes by talking out things and getting it out of your system,not only do you get some release out of it but you can also arrive at the conclusion/solution to your problem.Unlike therapy,where the same principle of talking until you arrive at said conclusion/solution is used by a therapist,there isn't anyone to offer feedback or opinions.It's just a way to get it out.Then you can listen back at them if you save them and get an idea of where your thinking was at and where you may have been too anxious,overanalytical,etc.

-As evidenced by the way I word things and (attempt) proper punctuation,I've had much practice in the art of writing.Unlike recording what you're thinking,where you're more on-the-spot,writing provides more of an opportunity to organize your thoughts and feelings.The subject of what you're writing could be anything.Be it the relationship or anything else.It doesn't have to be fany-schmancy Pulitzer-prize style of writing.Just get a pen,a notebook,and "let 'er rip."

-Maybe this would be a perfect time for you to come up with some kind of a "to-do" list and work toward checking those items off.

 

I know it's difficult.I'm in that spot in my life where very little is filling that emptiness that my relationship does.I have that "deeper need" that needs to be filled.When my girlfriend and I talk and everything is going good,that's when I feel the happiest.Days like this where we don't speak (she's on holiday Down Under),the insecurities get the best of me and the day just drags.