Wrong place, wrong time.

[lunat1ccc]

Do you guys/girls ever feel like you met your partner at the wrong place, wrong time because your relationship is long distance? Sometimes, I wonder how great things would be, had my girlfriend and I been closer to each other. For those that don't know, I'm in a LDR with my Army girlfriend who is currently stationed in Europe for 2 years. I met her during training and was together for a few months, until she left to Europe 2 months ago.

 

So, I had some questions that hopefully some of you could answer. How do you grow together in a LDR? And, how do you deal with the doubts about your SO finding someone else due to the long distance? I worry once in while because she's always surrounded by male soldiers and there are only a handful of females in the unit she's in. She mainly has males friends and sometimes, I wonder since "out of sight, out of mind" might apply. Any suggestions from people experienced in LDRs?

[LovinCousins]

My SO and I grow (stay) together with trips/visits to each other monthly or vacations together. Over one year in and less than one to go<3<3<3. Travelling together is not an option for you and your SO though without a large investment - but what's life without love/commitment?

 

My SO and I are cousins; I trust her more than any person on the planet. This trust that neither of us had in life really helps us overlook the distance and "out of sight, out of mind" issue. Her friends are mostly male as well, I met them all and basicly had any fears silenced immediately with each one. She talks about me enough that none of them needed more than to shake my hand and watch it go right back to hers. Maybe you need to make a trip to Europe?

 

Trust in your SO to know you are a special partner.

Visit your SO and show you are willing to try - ask obviously.

Say the distance worries you too much and bail?

 

If you love her I think the first two options are what you'll pick. I'd never say I met her at a wrong time; because every moment with her in my life is better than the same moments without her, undoubtedly.

 

Edit - I'm not sure you can grow closer together from a distance. I think it's possible to maintain what you've built close together and keep that connection/chemistry alive. A lot of posters here say you can't build a LDR while apart, it's too hard to read each other. Good luck<3

Edited August 17, 2012 by LovinCousins
Growing/Staying

[lunat1ccc]

After much contemplating with myself and my friends, I have come up with some reasons that have been bothering me. Is it better just to break up and save from getting hurt even more?

 

1. Girlfriend doesn't know if she wants to re-enlist or not. I know it's too early for her to find out because she has just started her "actual" job in the Army after training, but if she re-enlists, we'll be separated again (her possibly getting another overseas assignment) and it'll be long distance again. She's currently in Europe for 2 years.

 

If she chooses not to re-enlist, it'll be long distance since she'll be back at her home state going to school. And, it feels like we're starting from scratch now that we're closer.

 

2. We can't grow together in a LDR as much as we want. A relationship requires two people to be around each other, to get to know each other, to know their flaws, and to truly get to know the person. It's hard when two people are not growing. I hate the fact that her friends are getting to know her better than I do.

 

3. She's 19 and I'm 24. I don't know how much age has an influence in relationships, but I'm at the age where I need to start figuring out my future and start planning things. She's still unsure on what she wants to be doing. I know this sounds selfish, but I was hoping she'd tell me that she wouldn't re-enlist, go to school, and be closer with me.

 

Are those valid reasons for a break up? I just hate having to always think about these things and it bothering me. Does anyone see any solutions to the issues I've listed above? I really like this girl and being closer to her would really solve a lot of the problems.

[Ami1uwant]

Lets say she doesnt re-enlist and goes to school....how can you be close to her if you are also in the Army?

 

Have you asker her when she want to end up after she goes through college...does she want to tay close to her home town? Doe this work for you?

 

The only age issue is that she is younger...joined military right after high school so she hasnt yet had "freedom" to do what she wants to do and live life before getting married.

 

If its looking like you cant be near each other in 5 years then what is the point in pursuing this?

[lunat1ccc]

I am not in the Army anymore. Got out a few months ago and looking for a job. I guess it'd be a risk on my part because even if she says she won't re-enlist, she could always change her mind. =/

[FitChick]

Sometimes it's just bad timing, which is the case for you. You are at different stages in your life even though the age gap is rather small.

 

I had an LDR and was engaged to a man who had only been separated when we met (he said he was divorced). When his final decree came through, he realized he didn't want to jump back into marriage. If we had met two years later, I believe we'd have gotten married.