Lauriebell82 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 hi everyone: i posted something about this in the dating forum but i think it applys here but i guess its a LDR matter as well. me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months and it has been great. i have been at college but its only an hour 1/2 away so we see each other pretty much every weekend. i was home for 3 weeks for spring break and we saw each other every day and spent the night together. he is an accountant and works real long hours so i'd only spend an hour or two with him each day and then we'd go to bed. i just came back to school, and we have been talking on the phone. now my problem: lately my boyfriend has been acting weird. he has been complaining that he doesnt have any free time and the time that he does have he has to study for the cpa exam that is in 2 weeks. now he says he cant come up to see me the next 2 weekends because he has to study and our phone conversations every night are only like 15 minutes as opposed to 30-45 minutes. last semester everything was wonderful..of course he was only working about 45 hours a week not 70. so my question is, do u think he is just stressed with working so much and the cpa exam coming up? did i smother him by staying at his apartment everynight like that? he WANTED me too..he would call me every night and say "ok i'm home from work u can come over anytime u want." so what was i supposed to do? its hard now that i wont be able to see him the next couple weekends and barely talk to him. is this stress related or something to do with our relationship??? should i talk to him about it? please i need HELP!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 No way for anyone on here to tell you why he's being different unless we know... and ask him..... You need to find a way that's not "needy and whiny" ...... to ask him. Do something special for him... make dinner or something.... go out of your way to make it a great night..... not about problems... and if you can find a moment to tell him your insecurity (because that is totally what it is... until you know differently).... ask him what he wants "this" to be like. It's worked for me.... to keep the man I'm with... and in the past it has worked for me to weed out the ones I don't want to be with. good luck .... with this and life in general Link to post Share on other sites
sao2 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I think you should lay low for a while. It sounds like he has his hands full. These exams are big deal for accountants. Maybe you could flip it, one weekend when he is home studying can you drive to him and bring him something to eat, maybe even saying that you are going to study and he should call you when he is ready for dessert. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Yes, he is majorly stressed and can't really focus on anything right now. I don't know if you have any idea about the CPA exam, but it is very detailed, very hard, and can make or break an accountant. Basically, his ENTIRE FUTURE as an accountant is riding on him passing this exam. It requires a lot of studying and it makes people totally freak out from the stress. Add a full workload to the studying, and you end up very edgy, very tired, and very stressed. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. He needs your support right now, and if that means not seeing you while he studies and shortening phone calls, show your support by giving him that without making him feel guilty or bad. Don't get upset about it - again, it has NOTHING to do with you. This is not the time for you to take it personally and be worrying about yourself. This is the time to treat him gently and be kind and understanding. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 --"of course he was only working about 45 hours a week not 70"-- Wow im surprised this poor guy has time to think much less carry on a normal relashionship. Yea I agree with the op its not you hes just got his hands way full at the moment. Just be there for him but dont push things its hard enought for some people to have a close relashionship at 45 hours a week much less 70. Plus the added stress of these upcomming tests but dont worry its def not you. I'm sure after hes cleared his plate a bit things will go back to the usual with you guys.. Link to post Share on other sites
Daisycpa Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 I agree with Norajane. I too am studying for the cpa exam and will be taking it at the end of this week. His lack of available time for you has nothing to do with your relationship. I work 40 hours a week and and I find that studying 3-5 hours after work still isn't enough time. My boyfriend understands, but some of my friends are wondering why I'm being so distance. Unless you're actually studying to take the exam, you can't imagine the dedication it takes for pass these exams. Not to mention that it's very expensive to take these exams. If you don't pass them, you are putting in more money to retake the exams. I've limited my conversations with friends to text messaging. After a quick hello, I tell them that I have to get back to studying and that's it. So, just understand that this is what he needs right now in order to further his career. Any conflict and nagging about spending more time with him may drive him to end the relationship all together. Just give him his time and you will see that in the end, you won't be able to get rid of him. Link to post Share on other sites
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