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She has suddenly stopped contacting me first? What's wrong?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 25th September 2017, 4:52 PM   #1
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She has suddenly stopped contacting me first? What's wrong?

This girl I like used to message me on FaceBook every single day. She would send me a message, a photo or a picture, but now she doesn't. This happened from day one that we started talking.

It's true that I didn't answer her last message, but it didn't really require one anyway.
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Old 25th September 2017, 4:55 PM   #2
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It's hard to say without more information, but it sounds like she's given up waiting for you.

Have you asked her on a date? If not, why not?
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Old 25th September 2017, 4:55 PM   #3
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Instead of fretting, message her. It's "your turn". At this point with her Always reaching out first & you only responding & sometimes not doing that, she probably thinks you don't like her.
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Old 25th September 2017, 5:05 PM   #4
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Instead of fretting, message her. It's "your turn". At this point with her Always reaching out first & you only responding & sometimes not doing that, she probably thinks you don't like her.
I always reply to her in good time, believe me.

If a girl is texting me all the time and I'm responding adequately, what's the point of initiating with her? She'll be doing the chasing and that's what we want, isn't it?

I could be wrong.


And anyway, how would she not think I like her? I'm literally all over her when we see each other. I'm flirting like mad with her.

Last edited by Sgthaytham; 25th September 2017 at 5:31 PM..
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Old 25th September 2017, 9:45 PM   #5
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The point is that most women are socialized to believe that if the man doesn't initiate he's not interested.

Moreover, man or woman, no one wants to be the person who ALWAYS initiates. Just one day & you are upset she didn't message. How do you think she feels when you NEVER message her first?
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Old 26th September 2017, 1:21 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Sgthaytham View Post
I always reply to her in good time, believe me.

If a girl is texting me all the time and I'm responding adequately, what's the point of initiating with her? She'll be doing the chasing and that's what we want, isn't it?

I could be wrong.


And anyway, how would she not think I like her? I'm literally all over her when we see each other. I'm flirting like mad with her.
If you're arguing then why are you asking questions?

Why not text her if you want to talk to her?

It's not rocket science.
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Old 26th September 2017, 1:30 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgthaytham View Post
This girl I like used to message me on FaceBook every single day. She would send me a message, a photo or a picture, but now she doesn't. This happened from day one that we started talking.

It's true that I didn't answer her last message, but it didn't really require one anyway.
I have the same issue too, I let her chase or do the contacting.. I've learn not to text bomb her with endless text.. If they reach out first great!. That shows interest or they miss you. Sometimes give them a chance. Women do some strange things to men, but we're not different too. You can play hard to get too. I don't rush things. Some women just like to take it slow or take it fast. But when it comes to text I rather talk on the cell. Text can be so impersonal at times.
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Old 26th September 2017, 3:24 AM   #8
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I have the same issue too, I let her chase or do the contacting.. I've learn not to text bomb her with endless text.. If they reach out first great!. That shows interest or they miss you. Sometimes give them a chance. Women do some strange things to men, but we're not different too. You can play hard to get too. I don't rush things. Some women just like to take it slow or take it fast. But when it comes to text I rather talk on the cell. Text can be so impersonal at times.
Nothing turns a girl off more, with texts, than a guy who constantly messages her.

Having her initiate most of the texts means I don't need to worry about bombing her with messages - or, at least, not make her feel I am.

I agree messages are very impersonal.
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Old 26th September 2017, 7:14 AM   #9
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I always reply to her in good time, believe me.

If a girl is texting me all the time and I'm responding adequately, what's the point of initiating with her? She'll be doing the chasing and that's what we want, isn't it?

I could be wrong.


And anyway, how would she not think I like her? I'm literally all over her when we see each other. I'm flirting like mad with her.
First two bold: Self justification that you are doing
nothing wrong.

According to YOU, you are doing a good job. Well
by her behavior you are not.

Third bold: Your behavior to her is hot and cold, not
consistent, that sends conflicting messages.
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Old 26th September 2017, 9:02 AM   #10
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First two bold: Self justification that you are doing
nothing wrong.

According to YOU, you are doing a good job. Well
by her behavior you are not.

Third bold: Your behavior to her is hot and cold, not
consistent, that sends conflicting messages.

So what's her behaviour telling you, then?
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Old 26th September 2017, 9:04 AM   #11
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UPDATE:

I got in touch with her earlier on today asking if she knows if there'll be any rugby matches this week.

She's a fan of it.

She responded as quickly as she usually does saying there would be some and why I was asking.


It kind of feels like something is up because her texts aren't as responsive as before. It's hard to explain, but if you saw the texts, you'd see.

She is responding, which is good. She isn't responding with one-word texts, but there's something wrong.
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Old 26th September 2017, 9:51 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by Sgthaytham View Post
UPDATE:

I got in touch with her earlier on today asking if she knows if there'll be any rugby matches this week.

She's a fan of it.

She responded as quickly as she usually does saying there would be some and why I was asking.


It kind of feels like something is up because her texts aren't as responsive as before. It's hard to explain, but if you saw the texts, you'd see.

She is responding, which is good. She isn't responding with one-word texts, but there's something wrong.
Still playing games I see!

She has shown more than enough interest in
you. The "WHY WAS I ASKING" is probably her
giving you a last chance to ask her out on a date
before she drops you.
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Old 26th September 2017, 10:03 AM   #13
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Still playing games I see!

She has shown more than enough interest in
you. The "WHY WAS I ASKING" is probably her
giving you a last chance to ask her out on a date
before she drops you.
It's impossible to ask her out since we don't live in the same country.
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Old 26th September 2017, 2:11 PM   #14
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It is not impossible for you to ask her on a date. You said you are all over her when you see her, so clearly you spend some time together. In advance of seeing her next time, arrange a date.


As for what changed she may simply have grown weary of the futility. If you don't live in the same country & this is some sort of virtual interaction, she may have found a real guy who is right there.
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Old 26th September 2017, 4:03 PM   #15
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Dear lord. If anything, I believe a man should be initiating at least half as much as the woman, if not more. Ever read the John Gray Mars/Venus books? He talks about the biological basis of attraction and how it is formed in a male through testosterone release during the pursuit of a woman.

Don't be a lazy male--pursue this woman if you like her that much. If I were her, I would automatically assume that I was just some form of idle entertainment or ego boost if, when I stopped initiating, I stopped hearing from you. She has delivered herself like a pizza. You need to start taking the initiative.

What is unattractive to a woman is when you are passive and never take the reins to schedule appropriate dates. What is unattractive is if you bombard her with messages when she's not receptive to them. This girl is neither receiving appropriate pursuit from you, nor has she given you any indication that she is not receptive to hearing from you. Contact her and stop the games.
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