EdeeMX Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 So this all just happened literally an hour ago! My boyfriend doesn't know that I actually know the pattern to unlock his phone. So, really randomly I check through all his apps.. Usually I don't find anything wrong, which makes me believe that he really isn't doing anything sneaky behind my back. For some random reason tonight I decided to check. (Also came to mind that it would be a good time to do so since he was drinking so he's really passed out) as usual there was nothing really wrong. He does talk to certain girls but when I look at their conversations I can see its just basic friendly talk. The one app I've felt that he might be talking to someone else more than friends is snapchat! Obviously it's easy for messages to delete themselves and it's the smartest app to message someone without anyone seeing what's going one. But I'm not that uninformed on how to use snapchat ? I can clearly see he's been talking to some girl a lot more than anyone else because of emoticon it switches certain people to. And this girl is his best friend on there apparently. The point is that I looked through his downloads before and he never had anything out of the ordinary. But this time he had a nude picture of some girls boobs!!!!!!! The date was not today's date, it was from 2015 and this one girl he happens to be best friends with on snapchat had sent him an image that year. And now they're clearly talking. Am I wrong to think it's possibly the same girl sending him nudes?? I left his house came home and messaged him about what I saw and obviously ranted angrily about how crushed I am and that he's an *******.. Idk what to do.. He hasn't replied because like I mentioned he's passed out. Also we've been together for a year now but known each other for 5 years and were just friends with benefits that whole time until now. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Normally I am the first to jump on the "he's cheating!" bandwagon but in this case I think you have no evidence whatsoever. And also you have some serious trust and insecurity problems. So he talks to female friends on various social media platforms but your snooping has revealed nothing untoward whatsoever apart from one boob pic which is dated 2 years ago and you have no link to any of his female friends... I don't understand your relationship timeline, you say you've known each other for 5 years, been together for 1 year, but were FWB the whole time until now? When you you actually start a non-FWB relationship? Why do you feel the need to check his phone so often? How long have you been doing this, and how often? Do you think this is normal behaviour in a relationship? You need to talk to him about your trust issues. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoenician Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 It is not clear to me if he is having nude pics from the web or for his friend ; in both cases I beleieve you invaded his privacy by sneaking into his phone ; a good relation is when partners share everything even fantasies . The seco0nd mistake is that you confronted him while there is no clear evidence of his cheating ; it might be cheating or just a fantasy . Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I think you probably should have left the relationship at just FWB. The thing is that some people just aren't in a position at certain times in their life to have exclusive relations. And you need to be able to discern a person's ability for that. For example, as a guy, I judge things in women such as keeping lots of male "friends" around. Or their social media activity (loads of guys complimenting their pics, and/or being encouraged to). And I just take that as them not being up to the standard for that kind of relationship. People who want to settle down need to build an environment for themselves in which to do so, in order to be taken seriously. A lot of these women that I mention try to pressure an exclusive relationship whilst showing all the signs of being unstable whilst in one. And then yes, then it leads to things like orbiters and other options hanging around long after they should be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Why are you regularly going through his phone without his knowledge or consent? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Normally I am the first to jump on the "he's cheating!" bandwagon but in this case I think you have no evidence whatsoever. And also you have some serious trust and insecurity problems. So he talks to female friends on various social media platforms but your snooping has revealed nothing untoward whatsoever apart from one boob pic which is dated 2 years ago and you have no link to any of his female friends.... The problem here is that he is using Snapchat, so any pics he receives or sends to the boob girl (who just happens to be his best friend on there) are, after a few secs, gone forever leaving no trace. The OP knows she sent a boob pic, so it is not as if they are discussing the weather on Snapchat, are they? They might be, but... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Since it's just one photo from that long ago and you weren't really exclusive back then, I wouldn't worry about it. But if you start seeing newer ones or where he's sexting, that would be the time to worry. I think this isn't current enough to matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EdeeMX Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 So I didn't explain thoroughly.. It's not that I'm assuming that it's the same picture.. I was assuming he might be talking to the same girl and maybe he had pictures saved in his Gmail account. And I guess it all started because he was the first to ever do that to me. When it came to looking through each other's phone. I always did trust him. Until one night that he thought he saw something wrong in my phone. Which was nothing actually. I've only looked through his phone twice. Also we talked and he keeps saying that he's an idiot and that he did **** up because his excuse was that he was drunk one night and he went into his Gmail account and saved that picture again to his phone.. So that's the reason I felt he was talking to the same girl again. By the way we've been together officially 1 year but were friends with benefits for 2 years and we stopped hanging out for a while because I started dating someone else. But in total I've known him about 5 years because when I dated my ex it lasted two years also. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 (edited) For the love of God.....STOP GOING THROUGH HIS PHONE. You didn't like it when he went through your phone and wigged out on you about nothing...... Being in a relationship is about RESPECT....respect his privacy. Edited June 6, 2017 by smackie9 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EdeeMX Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 I'm not continously going through his phone. Like I mentioned before it's only been twice. Even then I know it's still wrong, but I guess it was more like a backlash of him doing it in the first place. And I also realize that meant we just didn't have complete trust in each other which is obviously bad. I guess it's all that history of things we've been through before we decided to make things official between us. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Well, what you know he he still likes to look at nude women. Hopefully he doesn't like that enough to want to stop looking at a live nude woman, you. But if he keeps it up, tell him it's disrespectful and right now, go ahead and ask him how he would feel if you had a nude photo of a guy you spoke to on your phone. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Twice is still too many times.....you shouldn't be doing it at all.....it's rude to go through someones things without their consent. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 My boyfriend doesn't know that I actually know the pattern to unlock his phone. So, really randomly I check through all his apps.. Usually I don't find anything wrong, which makes me believe that he really isn't doing anything sneaky behind my back. I'm not continously going through his phone. Like I mentioned before it's only been twice. Even then I know it's still wrong, but I guess it was more like a backlash of him doing it in the first place. And I also realize that meant we just didn't have complete trust in each other which is obviously bad. I guess it's all that history of things we've been through before we decided to make things official between us. Break up. You have NO trust. Without trust you have no relationship. In your initial post you talk about "randomly" checking his phone & that you "usually" don't find things. That implies you have done this way more that twice. You covertly memorized his lock pattern. You only did that because you don't trust him. When somebody comes on here & says that based on a host of other behaviors & their gut, they were reduced to snooping once & found something, I tend to go with cheating is the greater sin, now they know & they can break up. Here you have a repeated pattern of spying on the guy. Because you have to resort to this regularly (I don't believe you when you say it was only twice) it's clear that you don't have a healthy foundation. Give up. Go date somebody you can trust. If you have a problem trusting, work on that aspect in yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 So this all just happened literally an hour ago! My boyfriend doesn't know that I actually know the pattern to unlock his phone. So, really randomly I check through all his apps.. Usually I don't find anything wrong, which makes me believe that he really isn't doing anything sneaky behind my back. Idk what to do.. He hasn't replied because like I mentioned he's passed out. Also we've been together for a year now but known each other for 5 years and were just friends with benefits that whole time until now.Sounds like you're the sneaky one, to hear you tell it. Your evidence is fruit of the forbidden tree. If you try to use it, he will dump you on your @$$ without a second thought. At least, he should. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zip Silver Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 You have no boundaries or respect for him. Invading his private property is low. With your mindset you'll always find something, anything to bother you. A pic of boobs from before you were together is none of your business. Even if it was from this girl he's friends with on Snapchat it doesn't mean he's done anything wrong. Maybe they flirted a little back then, sent a few pics but it's been above board since you've been with him. It's absolutely none of your business. Also does he have a drinking problem? He's passed out from drink and claims that when he saves the pic it was due to being drunk then too. This whole relationship sounds unhealthy. There's no trust so what do you really have? Link to post Share on other sites
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