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what the hell is my problem!


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simplicity1

I am 26F. I am 1 year and 2 months into such a wonderful relationship with a guy who is fun, reliable, adventurous, trustworthy, physically attractive! Our time together is joyful. I still get so giddy around him, matched by a deeprooted care and love and appreciation that we feel. We have so much in store. We've had tiffs that have demonstrated to both of us that we can reason through problems if/when they arise. What more could I want.

 

WHY THE **** am I stalking my first love's girlfriend, and continuing to discover new ways to stalk, and feeling such strange, fierce envy when I'm in such a high quality new relationship myself! My relationship with my first love lasted ~1.5 years and took place a whopping 6 years ago. It was followed by a torturous breakup and getting back together for a period, on again off again etc. He broke up with me because he needed time to be single and figure himself out, among other things. He was my first love, and it took me so many years of failed dating to meet a guy like him, and 4 long years of being totally single after him. I seriously struggled in my romantic life, with many, many years of failed attempts, disappointments...

 

Though it's been 3 years since my ex and I spoke, I made it my New Years Resolution to at long last unfriend and block him and everyone I knew who was associated with him on Facebook. And I did. And then tonight I discovered instagram, etc. which had /even more/ than Facebook had available. And saw some really epic-seeming pics of them together.

 

Why do I feel such strong residual jealousy due to a person who exists so many years in my past. :(

 

Are there others who still can't fully shake the emotions associated with your first love, even if you have found a better man to be with?

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