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Confused by his intentions. 21 F,26 M


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Old 1st February 2017, 7:39 AM   #1
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Confused by his intentions. 21 F,26 M

So for a little backstory,(June,2015) I met this guy when i was 19 and fresh into my second year of College (or University for some). He was 24 and was a manager of a retail clothing store. I used to come in once a week and we hit it off.A few weeks later he adds me on facebook and we start chatting away. He then asked me out on a date. I didnt end up going to this date as i somehow got the day mixed up. He was rather disappointed and ended up inviting me around for drinks a week later. Drinks at his happened twice. The first time was just chatting away and getting to know each other more personally. The second time round, we had a bit to much and slept together. I suppose i got a little attached but not to the point of clingy, he however went distant and we didnt talk for some time. Nether of us wanted a relationship and that boundary was set.

I did tell him that it was rather unfair on his part to root and boot me and not talk to me for some time. If he wanted sex he could have been honest with me and told me. He apologised and said that it was a very immature thing to do and that he respects me for being honest and that sleeping together was not his intention.

January,2016 he invited me around during the day as it was extremely hot and he wanted to catch up. I said yes and so i walked to his. It was the usual talking,laughing all of that. However what i forgot to mention is that for the second time ive been with him, he's randomly kissed me on the lips a few times. which always left me shocked, due to not expecting it. So with the affectionate gestures,comes with the pet names. "Darling,dear",close physical contact. He ended up moving away a few weeks later and i focused on my life and started dating others,


He adds me on Instagram and Snapchat a few months later ( around March) he's liking my ig posts on occasion and sends me snaps etc etc.

See now this is the part where i am confused as heck and need some insight or advice.

He is very eager for me to come and visit him. I live in a different state to his and its generally a few hours drive. I have never visited his state before and i have been wanting to for sometime,before he moved there for work. Again he's just eager for me to come down and visit him. He's asked me on so many occasions on when i'm going to visit and what month would be good. He's even suggested that he will pay for the flights as well!
I have been thinking about the idea and he said he'd love to do as much activities as he can with me while i'm up there before he has to spend most of his time at work. Which i'm personally fine about as i don't need him driving me around places. He said he was very excited at the thought of me visiting and that he hoped i was too. I even made a comment by saying if i liked it so much, maybe i could come down in a hotter month, to which he replied " I would like that"

Around last month i was in a town that was 5 hours from where he was living. He suggested to me that the next day was his day off and he could come and visit me while i was there. I told him no and not to worry as i will be gone the next day.

I personally haven't asked what his intentions are, as its over social media and can be taken differently. But he has said to me on more than one occasion, that he feels we both have a "connection" and share "common interests". Something that he has found hard to find with someone in where he is living.
This guy is probably a player (which i get pleasure joking about with him,which he denies) . Hes on tinder (nothing wrong with that !), he's in a photo with two drunk attractive girls,slept around a fair bit,can be sleazy. However his actions speak alot louder than his words do when it comes to me. Again, he's probably a player and has done it to various others.


Now i'm not sure if this is some player bulls*it and he's trying to get me into bed or what, but it just seems so odd. Especially for a guy his age who enjoys being by himself and being single. Or i'm just not mature enough to weed out the players just yet. I will admit i do have somewhat feelings for the guy, but i know nothing will bloom from it. But why fly a girl up for sex when you can easily get it around you?

Last edited by Raven_Vixen; 1st February 2017 at 7:43 AM.. Reason: Title
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Old 1st February 2017, 8:21 AM   #2
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I don't think his intentions are all that pure or honorable. He sees you as somebody with whom he can have a bit of NSA fun. If you are up for that fine. If you want a relationship, he's not your guy.


His behavior on social media does not correspond to his behavior IRL. Him liking some post is 2 seconds worth of effort. It's not courting or dating. It's not even flirting.


Proceed with caution & do not give your heart away.
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