BadMistakes Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 So I have a thought about this topic which I'd like for you all to chime in on and give me your 2 cents. When can you tell if someone is cheating? I've read that cheating usually occurs when something is lacking in the relationship, in my situation currently my girlfriend is very loving towards me, any spare time she has it's spent with me, our sex life is still good and she is telling me that she misses me and loves me when we are not together...So would one say this is a safe bet that she's not cheating? We've had our fair share of problems of course but things are pretty good at the moment... Also a question for the ladies, if a guy you like has a "nice" personality or can be seen as a "doormat" does that make you want to cheat more even if you enjoy those qualities from a guy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 I've read that cheating usually occurs when something is lacking in the relationship, in my situation currently my girlfriend is very loving towards me, any spare time she has it's spent with me, our sex life is still good and she is telling me that she misses me and loves me when we are not together...So would one say this is a safe bet that she's not cheating? No Cheating is a choice. And it is about the cheater, not about anyone else. A person can say they love their spouse or S.O. and still cheat on them. Just read around here and other places and you'll hear a lot of excuses but it always boils down to a choice. In most cases they never expect to be discovered so unless it is an exit affair they are perfectly happy with saying how much they love the other person all the while cheating on them. Because you must understand it is not about anyone else but them. So it could happen to anybody. I would venture a guess than most victims of infidelity like myself were blindsided by the revelation. I was one of those who thought it could never happen to me, and that I'd know if anything funny was going on. I'd known my fiance since we were little kids and I thought I knew her as we had know each other literally all of our lives. Obviously I didn't know her at all. What I have learned in the years since though, is that anyone is capable of infidelity. ANYONE Just as anyone is capable of killing another person, anyone is capable of cheating on another person. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Badmistakes, I've read that cheating usually occurs when something is lacking in the relationship, I'm afraid you've been reading too many articles by cheater apologists. Cheating happens when there is something lacking in the cheater. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Some people will cheat on everyone and there is something fundamentally lacking in their character. Some do it once, horribly regret it, work on themselves and them never do it again i.e. me. I'd like to think I have some chance of redemption. I do think people have weak character when they cheat - they're unable to do the right thing and they run away from problems rather than facing them head on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Badmistakes, I'm afraid you've been reading too many articles by cheater apologists. Cheating happens when there is something lacking in the cheater. Both are true. Some people only eat when they are hungry. Others gorge even when they have been fed enough food. Some people are only motivated to cheat when they feel trapped in a relationship that cannot be changed by them and is unfulfilling. Others have an awesome relationship, and yet they feel a void within themselves that needs to be filled despite having someone who is willing to fill the void for them. Having said that, the question here seems to really be..... Why don't you trust your GF if she tells you that she loves you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 No Cheating is a choice. And it is about the cheater, not about anyone else. A person can say they love their spouse or S.O. and still cheat on them. Just read around here and other places and you'll hear a lot of excuses but it always boils down to a choice. In most cases they never expect to be discovered so unless it is an exit affair they are perfectly happy with saying how much they love the other person all the while cheating on them. Because you must understand it is not about anyone else but them. So it could happen to anybody. I would venture a guess than most victims of infidelity like myself were blindsided by the revelation. I was one of those who thought it could never happen to me, and that I'd know if anything funny was going on. I'd known my fiance since we were little kids and I thought I knew her as we had know each other literally all of our lives. Obviously I didn't know her at all. What I have learned in the years since though, is that anyone is capable of infidelity. ANYONE Just as anyone is capable of killing another person, anyone is capable of cheating on another person. Reposted for emphasis! On paper, I was one of those people who had every single reason to stray from marriage and cheat on my husband. On paper, my actions would have been justified. But guess what? I didn't. Did I think about? Absolutely and I had many opportunities but I realized that cheating wasn't going to solve the problems that plagued my marriage and it certainly wasn't going to make my husband give me the things I desperately needed and therefore save my marriage. It would have just been me lying to my husband, to my children, my family and friends and to myself and for what? So I could feel the weight of another human being on top of me who made my toes curl? I couldn't live with myself. More importantly, I didn't want to be that woman. I knew I deserved better than both of those scenarios and I was bound and determined to get it while still keeping my head held high and able to look my children in the eyes without shame or regrets. Cheating is easy. It's also an easy way out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Cheating is easy. It's also an easy way out. Yeah and you mentally torture yourself almost every day. I mean I still feel the pain and regret and it's 5 years afterwards. But then I'm sure he feels the same. What I would give to turn back time and do things differently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 snip No Cheating is a choice. And it is about the cheater, not about anyone else. A person can say they love their spouse or S.O. and still cheat on them. Just read around here and other places and you'll hear a lot of excuses but it always boils down to a choice. In most cases they never expect to be discovered so unless it is an exit affair they are perfectly happy with saying how much they love the other person all the while cheating on them. As stated above. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts