Avijits01 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 (edited) Ok id start like this. There's this girl we know each other for 9 years. We hooked up, broke up, then came again in short intervals like a year or so. It was like this and beautiful in its own. So between all this some people came when we broke up that was obvious. She was in a two year long relationship with a guy. Now it was another year we came back, fell in love and this time it was more serious. Pretty much inseparable we were, he were together for two months and i got to know from a common friend she kissed her ex a month back. That came like the most unexpected thing ever. He was dropping her home from a party as she had no other conveince and a moment was created and they kissed. Though she got back after sometime told him she cannot do that its a mistake and then lost all contact with him afterwards still its all messed up now also because of the fact i got to know this from somewhere else. I love her way too much, i broke up and its already been a week. She is regretting and doing everything possible to bring me back, crying everyday, listerally not sleeping whole night. All she wants is me back and i seriously dont know what to do. She has accepted the mistake but i dont know what i should do. Im traumatized. Started smoking. And 100 times more than me she is. She has one ex that still loves her like anything who is good enough to keep her happy and she knows that but she is still waiting for me. " I dont need you for loving you. I crave for you to come but also if you dont and also you go to someone else, ill still love you and always will do the same. You have no right to overweigh that, im happy like this and its beautiful. Just know that." This is all she is saying to everyone and me. What should i do? Even if i get back can i rebuild the trust. Can the scars heal? Edited January 24, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avijits01 Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 (edited) Long live the thread which was never answered. Edited January 24, 2017 by Avijits01 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Dude, Sorry it is a weeknight so sometimes traffic is slow. Just stop calling it a mistake. She made a conscious decision to kiss her ex. No moment was created on it's own. The kissing is not worst thing in the world but the fact you had to hear about it from a third party does make it a bit more difficult to consider reconciling. It is up to you, but having to hear about it from someone else means either she felt comfortable keeping secrets or that more went on than you know. People just can't seem to keep their traps shut. That reminds me of a quote from New Orleans Mafia Boss Carlos Marcello. "Three people can always keep a secret if 2 of them are dead". Either way, your relationship with her has been on again, off again....just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Meh, her feelings aren't strong enough for you. If they were, she wouldn't have ever entertained the idea of kissing an ex. It's time to finally stick a fork in this. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 A kiss on the way home from a party? Was it drunk out? I think I would forgive and forget. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 1. She wasn't only kissing him, but also lied to you and hid it. After the kissing she could have decided to come clean, but she prefered not to. 2. Her current words has a little value in my opinion. Her ego is hurt, because you broke up with her. People with crashed ego sometimes will say anything to get back their pride and to fix their ego. She's not lying, but I wouldn't believe it so much, because she's desperate. 3. I understand she told him that she didn't want him. But then, why did she kiss him if she didn't want him? Did she need that kiss to know that? You know - I can understand better if someone falls for a one night stand, because it's a temptation out of sexual attraction. But a kiss? It usually implies she has some feelings. 4. does she meet her ex's regulary? can she stop contacting her ex's? Can she 100% cut them from her life? Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Don't be shocked if it turns out she really ****ed him. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 You two have been on and off for over 9 years...what make you think there is any real potential for a permanent committed relationship? You two have been each others backup until you meet someone else for all those years. I think you are just more butt hurt than heart broken because she still has obvious feelings for her ex and she chose to "makeout" possible sex with him. Also she chose to hide it from you. That's is definitely ego deflating for sure. It makes you wonder if she really does love you..... You can either finally write her off for good, just stay friends, keep her around for FWB, or roll the dice and forgive her. Your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 The on-again, off-again nature of your relationship makes me wonder if you are both really serious, or just settling for the comfortably known. Perhaps you both have feelings for past lovers, too. I wonder if you were put in a similar situation, if you might have done the same thing? Anyway, you can either forgive and move on with her, or break up once and for all. If you stay together, set out mutual expectations for behavior in the future, and stick to them. Link to post Share on other sites
vampirebrat Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Can the scars heal? Why would you want them to? They clearly don't respect you. By trying to work things out you're sending out the message that you're a doormat who'll take that kinda crap. You can do better than someone like that. Maybe you should think about your own self-image. Someone with solid self-esteem would never entertain the idea of being with someone who treats them like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 A kiss is not a mistake. What she did is she succumbed to her exs charms, he put the moves on her and she wondered what it was like..so she did it. Now the thing is unless she tongue wrestled with him snd there were others in the car, clearly someone spilled the beans and it ended up getting back to you.. unfortunately she didn't tell you herself. So the question you ask yourself is she clearly runs in the same circles as her exes that want to bang her. She's curious about what it's like to get physical with these exes that drive her home and put the moves on her. If she sleeps with one of them then she will never tell you, so unless she's never going to go to another party again, walk home alone and not get driven home by guys that want to do the horizontal salsa with her or not succumb to the charms of everyman that puts the righteous moves of valentino on her then by all means take her back Link to post Share on other sites
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