We are both in college, been dating for about 7 months. I am 21 and he's 22, I graduate next December and he graduates next spring (late). Therefore this is my last spring break and I wanted to make it memorable by going someplace fun, and with him since we haven't been out of state together on a trip before. He's in a fraternity so I definitely expected spring break to be a group trip since they organize trips, formals, events, etc often that I am also a part of.
One night about a month ago I was talking about it with my boyfriend, his fraternity brother, and his girlfriend the possibility of getting a group to go on a cruise for spring break. We all showed interest but of course nothing ever came of it.
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend tells me he's going to a "spring break" meeting with his friends to discuss and finalize details. That night he informs me they're going to Panama City and are getting ready to book a condo unit of just guys. He says the girlfriend I spoke to awhile back wants to get a girls group together next to the guys unit. I am slightly upset at this point that I was sort of unincluded and my boyfriend didn't even consult me about going on this trip and asked whether or not I could go.
I texted the girlfriend of my boyfriend's friend the next day and she already had a full group and her unit couldn't hold any more (her sorority sisters). Now I have no group to go with and feel like I am being overdramatic for being upset and feeling ridiculous for not having a large group of friends to go with like my boyfriend expects. She said there's probably other people wanting to go but I feel like at that point I'm just "forcing my way in" to this trip just to be with my boyfriend. He seems a little sad for me that I can't go once I explained there's not enough people for another group, but obviously not enough to work out a way to be with me if he really wanted, since he's not saying too much about it.
I have a few close friends but they would definitely not be interested in going to Panama so that is not an option either.
No you are not being over sensitive. He is being insensitive. Although he would like you to go, it is not important to him that you go. You have just found out that he does not think of you as the girl in his life. The truth be told, to him you are just a convenient college girlfriend that will no longer be in his daily life once the two of you no longer go to school together. If he graduates right around this Spring Break, that would be about when your relationship was going to be ending anyway. He tipped his hand not just to you, but to the people he is going on this trip with.
Enjoy the relationship today for what it really is, but plan your long term accordingly.
Dude here. Was in a fraternity in college. Went to FL for Spring Break. I know the dynamic he's facing with his brothers. But I also know what's right for him to do. And this isn't it. You're not being oversensitive. He's being an a**hat.
Sorry to say, this is probably emblematic of what your relationship is - just a college thing. Enjoy it for what it is. Tell him you've decided to go on a solo vacation to a remote island in the keys and see how he reacts.
Your boyfriend is not too upset because he is planning to get some strange where you wont be able to control him... Since this is how he feels, just wish him luck and let him go on his outing. You can also tell him that you have your own plans for the spring break, and you plan on having 'fun too'. Then just leave it alone. If he cares so little for you that he still goes with his bros, just don't be there when he gets back. Ghost him. If you do have to talk to him and he asks you about your trip, just tell him you had a fun time feeding and clothing the poor and indigent at the local gospel mission, and you spent your nights reading bible verses with the pastor who runs things... Even if he is as dense as plutonium he'll get the message that you will never tell him what you 'really' did. Don't worry about breaking up with him - he did that already when he made plans without you - you are just going out with your pride intact. If you feel a momentary weakness, I'm sure looking at the pics he posts on his FB page will make you strong again. Now you know what to look for (and to not look for) in your next bf...
Spring break is about getting wasted and having sex. Really not any more to it than that.
I was almost 30 when I started college so my Spring breaks were a little different than the traditional Redneck Riviera Beach Parties.
Fraternity/Sorority joint Spring Breaks with lodging next to each other are pretty much a drunken phyuck fest by anyone's definition. Being you are not n the sorority, I would not be surprised at all that you were left out with "no room at the inn".
I guess you should just realize that not only was he not thinking about you, that we wont be thinking about you on Spring Break if you are not in the vicinity. It is hard enough to be in relationships in your 20's these days, but being in a relationship and having a situation like this come up is a sure fire recipe for a relationship to see a fairly rapid end.
I guess you can risk it and hope he won;t do anything stupid, but we both know young guys, group mentality, binge drinking, all go hand in hand with the poor decisions your boyfriend will most certainly make without you around. And of course he's not saying to much about it. He does not want the thought creeping in his head that you might disapprove of him getting a piece of ass on the side.
Look, you've only been together 7 months. In the larger scope of things that's a fart in a skillet.
His actions prove he only cares in as much as you don't pout too much so he can get his drink and his bang on.
Spring Break, like young love isn't forever...but Herpes that he catches from some local Panama City resident is.
Do yourself a favor and start the new year out right...single.
Incidentally I took 2 Spring Breaks in a row in Amsterdam and i wasn't there to see the Van Gogh Museum, so I do know a little bit about poor decision making...lol.
Hmmm, he's headed off with a group of frat boys and frat girls to Panama City and didn't include you, even while plans were being made. And this was after you had discussed going somewhere together with him earlier.
Most frat/sonority spring breaks aren't for eating ice cream and playing shuffle board.
That doesn't mean he intends to cheat but this is a situation where temptations will be running high. So this is a pretty a schiity to put you in.
Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like this guy is ready for a serious relationship, '7 months together' notwithstanding - it sounds like he just wants an extended form of casual dating. He does his own thing, you do your own thing, but sometimes you hang out and have fun (and sex) together.
Is that what you want in your life? If it isn't, this guy isn't right for you. Although, to be fair, this (casual dating) is probably more common than the opposite, given your ages.
He would rather spend time with his fraternity brothers and other chicks than spend time with you and you know what spring break is about for many students- getting drunk, flirting and having sex. He probably knew early on the girls were booking separate rooms but didn't tell you until last minute. It doesn't sound like he cares that much about you and you may be a convenience when it suits him. He's acting like a guy who is single and ready to mingle. I doubt this "relationship" survives graduation. I'd cut the ******* loose.
I hope I'm not being too over dramatic when I say dump his tail.
He knew you were making plans for both of you, they even discussed it with the boys and the girls in coordinating their accommodations and they purposely left you out.
Again he purposely did it. If you're not gong to be hurt that your guy might be flirting around and possibly banging other girls and by all means continue, but it's about parity and treating others how you treat them, which to him means no you..so tell him bye bye.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.