0080 Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 (edited) I am cheating and have been since December. She was the one that made it happen by persuing me heavily and she finally got me to cave after about a month. We were bot and heavy for about 2-3 months. We were very into eachother with sex and meeting for lunches and spending any time we could together. Then May 5th happened in the middle of the night she texted me telling me how much she loved me and how she wishes I was with her to cuddle her to sleep. This is not new we had been exchanging texts like this for about 2 months. Then i did not hear from her on May 6th or 7th (strange) I texted her after i became concerned and asked if she was alright she said "yeah?" Since then she has pretty much ignored me and any attemp i have to contact her or meet with her. This is the part I dont understand. We have been planning a week togther over July 4th and after finally meeting up with her yesterday i asked her why she has been ignoring me and she just said she has been busy and dealing with a friend who is trying to get over a guy. I asked her if she still wanted July to happen and she said yes. She went right back to ignoring me. I tried a few times to send her a text like good morning or something and she did not respond. What does this mean? Two things to add: 1. When i spoke to her i let her know i missed her and she said she missed me too. I also told her that if her feeling towards me have change that she can tell me and she said "I know" 2. She has told me over and over the past few months how much she is looking forward to being with me for the week. If she wants it to be over why doesnt she just tell me. If she found someone else why doesnt she just tell me? If shes scared of getting her heart broke why doesnt she just tell me? I am going about everything as if we are still on for the week but i feel like im going to be alone that week. Please just give me some advise I am really crazy about her and dont wont to loose her. Edited June 14, 2016 by 0080 Things to add Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Because she's cheating on you too? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 She got what she wanted out of you. A fun time for a bit and now she is pretty much done with you. See it was all fine and good until you developed feelings. Now you've turned into just another guy who became a Beta after the test drive. She is looking to upgrade to a different model. You served your purpose. Don't make any big plans for the 4th that include her. She will be AWOL probably 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 My guess? She is seeing someone else but not sure if it will work out, so she's keeping you on the back-burner. As another poster said, don't count on July 4th happening. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 0080 Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 My guess? She is seeing someone else but not sure if it will work out, so she's keeping you on the back-burner. As another poster said, don't count on July 4th happening. Why doesnt she just talk to me about it? I dont understand how you can go from telling someone how much they mean to you and how great you are to completly ignoring over night. I feel like she is trying to make me be the one that tells her im done so she can feel better about it. Should i just keep texting her and bugging her until she tells me to stop? Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 She has already voted with crickets. I would stop wasting my time if I were you. If she wants to contact you she knows how to. Otherwise let it be. Th continuing futile contact is making her lose more respect for you. Go find somebody that will appreciate you for who you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 snip I am cheating and have been since December. *She was the one that made it happen by persuing me heavily and she finally got me to cave after about a month. We were bot and heavy for about 2-3 months. *No. You both made it happen, and you both made it happen on every occasion of your meeting. You're not a victim, or unwilling participant. Take responsibility for your own actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 0080 Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 snip *No. You both made it happen, and you both made it happen on every occasion of your meeting. You're not a victim, or unwilling participant. Take responsibility for your own actions. I dont think you understand what i ment by that statement. I dont view myself as a victim. I was just trying to say that she was the one that pushed hard to get me and I resisted. I do take responsibility for my actions and am not proud of them. If i was trying to play the victim i would have told the whole story that lead me to this situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Bet you'd hear a lot more from her if you ditched your partner. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 I dont think you understand what i ment by that statement. I dont view myself as a victim. I was just trying to say that she was the one that pushed hard to get me and I resisted. I do take responsibility for my actions and am not proud of them. If i was trying to play the victim i would have told the whole story that lead me to this situation. Fair enough, but you're a volunteer, rather than a conscript Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Why doesnt she just talk to me about it? I dont understand how you can go from telling someone how much they mean to you and how great you are to completly ignoring over night. I feel like she is trying to make me be the one that tells her im done so she can feel better about it. Should i just keep texting her and bugging her until she tells me to stop? She's not telling you because it's none of your business. She doesn't owe you an explanation. And no, you shouldn't keep bugging her. Her silence is clear enough. If she wants to see you, you'll hear from her. Take it from a woman who has been where she is now. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoenician Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Why doesnt she just talk to me about it? I dont understand how you can go from telling someone how much they mean to you and how great you are to completly ignoring over night. I feel like she is trying to make me be the one that tells her im done so she can feel better about it. Should i just keep texting her and bugging her until she tells me to stop? because you are plan B . Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Bet you'd hear a lot more from her if you ditched your partner. This is my take as well. I think she's tired of being OW and wants you to make a stand...it's non confrontational, she has pulled away and needs you to chase to 'prove' your....what? Love? Whatever the case, you should make a choice....stop cheating! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 If you are in love with her break up with your gf. Why are you still with your gf when you love someone else? This girl likes the chase and you're caught, so game over and she's now chasing someone new to conquer. Still, you need to break up with your gf because you don't care about her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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