chilljill Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 (edited) My boyfriend and I have been back together since January of this year. We had been in a relationship three years ago, but broke up because of infidelity on his part and because he realized he was not ready to be in a committed relationship. We both know that I have trouble fully trusting him again and he has agreed to do whatever it takes to make me feel secure. I decided to give it a try and here I am: wondering have I dug my own grave or is this just an insecurity? For the past few weeks, I've noticed that he's been "liking" one particular woman's pictures on Instagram. He likes almost every picture that she posts of herself. It's not just a random woman, because she is a student at his school (He works for a college campus). She has also liked some of his pictures as well, but not recently. Just yesterday, he posted a video of himself mixing songs on a turntable, and a quite attractive woman commented "party at your place then". I saw the comment today and I called him and let him know I didn't like the comment. He told me, "Okay, I'll tell her you don't like comments like that." And then I told him to just delete it. And he said "Okay, I will. I'm in a session (recording) and I'll call you later." It's been several hours since I told him to delete it, and he still hasn't. He also has not returned my call. It doesn't help that the attractive lady that made the comment is a resident physician that makes twice as much as I make and I just feel so inadequate. Am I being insecure or does it seem like he might be back to his cheating ways? Is this just cause for a break up? Also, am I overreacting? He's 29 and I'm 27 and "it's just facebook/Instagram", which just makes this seem all too juvenile. ETA: He did delete her comment, but has yet to call me back. And The other girl added a new pic of herself and he liked it. I really feel like a stalker lol. Edited April 10, 2016 by chilljill Additional info Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 "He has agreed to do whatever it takes to make me feel secure"-well he hasn't, has he? I wouldn't be OK with it and yes I would break up with him over it. I would not had gotten back with him at the first place. Don't you find it pathetic to spend your valuable time stalking him and his followers? You can do better 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 I agree with the above 10 fold.......get out of this relationship now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chilljill Posted April 11, 2016 Author Share Posted April 11, 2016 Thank you both so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Him liking her picture is not the problem. Him knowing her comment upset you & then ignoring you is the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 If it wasn't for his prior infidelity then I would say you're being paranoid and jealous. But given he has a history, and he should be doing everything he can to make you trust him again... no. Whether he's right or wrong, it's obvious you don't trust him. Being in a relationship with someone you don't trust, is a terrible idea. I would break up, not because of one comment or like or whatever, but because you have no trust in him. Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 I don't think its ok to like someone's picture all the time. If he likes one or two of her pictures, fine. but all of them? He wants her attention 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chilljill Posted April 11, 2016 Author Share Posted April 11, 2016 Yeah, I agree. Liking is pretty much the same as flirting in my opinion. I knew going in to this relationship that it would be hard to trust again, but he's not doing anything to help. Still haven't heard back from him. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Honestly, if you are in a relationship where you have to stalk his "likes" and worry about who is commenting on his stuff (which sounds completely insane), it's not the right relationship for you. Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who you trust? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chilljill Posted April 11, 2016 Author Share Posted April 11, 2016 Yes, that is exactly what the issue is. I don't think I'd be paying any attention to his social media if I didn't have trust issues with him. But unfortunately, insane or not, he's under my microscope because he's cheated on me before. Link to post Share on other sites
ad4m Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Him liking her picture is not the problem. Him knowing her comment upset you & then ignoring you is the problem. This is right. Liking a girls picture is not a big deal, but ignoring the fact that it upsets you is. You could do better I think... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts