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Do all men not communicate well


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Confusedchica

I've been seeing this guy for months now. He's VERY egotistical and also very handsome. He's full of him self. From what I'm picking up it seems like he's used to women chasing him. One of his friends even told me that I'm the first girl that he doesn't have wrapped around his finger.

 

Ive done a little research and he DEFINETLY seems like a Narcissist. He's never messed around with other girls on me but he's done some things that were very rude. For ex. He gets very jealous. If he sees me talking to a guy who is attracted to me, he won't say that he's jealous but just act like a Jerk to me. I am close with one of his friends but only because we knew each other first. There are no romantic feelings there. He asked his friend if we've slept together.

 

Before he seemed way too into to himself to care about ANYTHING. Now he views pics of me everyday. I can tell by my snapchat.

When he wakes up he looks, during the day and even before bed. He CONSTANTLY views pics of me. In my mind I thought that was diff but I mean I tried not to think too much of it. I do however feel like constantly viewing pics of someone could develop an obsession. He stares at me everytime I'm around him. Looks right into my eyes everytime we talk. He just seems different now than he was before.

 

Before when we'd argue or fight we wouldn't speak for days afterwards. Now he calls me or text me the next day as if nothing ever happened. Even if I tell him I don't want to speak to him, he still cones to me to talk but never about what he's done. WEIRD. He never apologizes for anything that he does. He only acts EXTREMELY nice to me or calls me constantly until I speak to him. Still never addresses the issue.

 

He went out of the country on a business trip recently. He called me throughout the day all day and all night. If I couldn't answer him he'd continue to call or message me. I would say things to him like "I miss you I hope u don't like it too much and stay there" and he'd say "I won't" as in he won't stay there but no I miss you too or anything. I'd like him to communicate with me more. I really would. I like to know how he feels. It's almost as if he feels it's weak to tell how he feels. It seems like he has this obsession. Or he's insecure or something I don't know. He doesn't say he loves me but says that he loves features about me like he always says "I love those eyes"

 

I want him to be more open to me. It's like he's never had to go after a girl or anything. His grandad told me he has communication issues. His grandad also said that since he met me he's become a nicer person. Fed up with his lack of communication. I messaged him and told him this and that'd I'd be blocking him. I blocked his number, Facebook and most importantly snapchat. I felt like if he view pics of me everyday then I should take that away from him. I'm very ill at home with vertigo so it's easy for me to have no contact at the moment. Because with my meds I've been sleeping a lot. It's been four days. He cannot call, text or contact me on any social media because he is blocked. Idk what possessed me to do this but I felt it was the only way he'd see I wanted more. I don't even know how the no contact rule works I just wanted him to communicate more with me....whenever he does something I always go back and I never made him answer for anything. I felt this was the only way but I don't really know. I'll have to see him tomorrow for a charity event and I'm so lost as to how to conduct myself *tears*

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:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

I think you two are just fine, and you could last for ever. Why? because your wish to change him will never disappear, you care about him, he cares about you, it's obvious according to what you've said. You will never find a better match.

 

BTW, according to what you say, he is very well communicating.

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No, not all men don't communicate well.

 

Why on earth are you even thinking about this? He seems to have no positive qualities apart from being handsome.

 

Cut him off and never speak to him again.

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I want him to be more open to me. His grandad told me he has communication issues. Fed up with his lack of communication. I messaged him and told him this and that'd I'd be blocking him. I blocked his number, Facebook and most importantly snapchat. He cannot call, text or contact me on any social media because he is blocked. Idk what possessed me to do this but I felt it was the only way he'd see I wanted more. I don't even know how the no contact rule works I just wanted him to communicate more with me.

 

So, for someone that claims to want to communicate more, you certainly don't have much communication skills yourself.

 

He does you wrong time and time again. You never bring it up to him.

 

Then you think by acting passive aggressive and blocking him everywhere is going to make him want to communicate with you more and make him see you wanted more?

 

You both have problems.

 

1. He is a disaster.

2. You because you allow it and stay regardless.

3. Neither of you can communicate.

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Men will communicate better when they have identified a problem that needs to be fixed. This is a gross generalization, but that's what I think for the most part. Men are problem solvers. We compartmentalize and although we have feelings like women do (just not as many) we are typically able to put the feelings in separate categories of our lives. We will talk if we think something needs to be addressed. If we're not talking then everything is usually fine. It's the exact opposite with women which is what makes men and women different with when and how they communicate. When a woman gets quiet then something is on her mind.

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Ask yourself if this is what you want? And if not give an average guy who would love and admire you like no other a chance...

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Oh come on. Give the guy a break! A woman knows when a man likes him. He likes you, and you know it. He has already become a nicer guy since he's been with you. What do you want him to do? Communicate... what does that mean? Don't be cruel, don't cut him off. You are purposely making him suffer in order to break him like breaking a wild animal. Where's the love?

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Confusedchica
So, for someone that claims to want to communicate more, you certainly don't have much communication skills yourself.

 

He does you wrong time and time again. You never bring it up to him.

 

Then you think by acting passive aggressive and blocking him everywhere is going to make him want to communicate with you more and make him see you wanted more?

 

You both have problems.

 

1. He is a disaster.

2. You because you allow it and stay regardless.

3. Neither of you can communicate.

 

 

 

Correction I DO bring it up. And he brushes it off. If I did not, I wouldn't have any room to say anything

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Confusedchica
Oh come on. Give the guy a break! A woman knows when a man likes him. He likes you, and you know it. He has already become a nicer guy since he's been with you. What do you want him to do? Communicate... what does that mean? Don't be cruel, don't cut him off. You are purposely making him suffer in order to break him like breaking a wild animal. Where's the love?

 

I just mean that he leaves me hanging sometimes. Sometimes I feel I put myself out there by telling him things bother me and he brushes it off. Because he's so standoffish at time ppl thing I'm WAY more into him. And I know that's not the case and I guess it just bugs me that it's seen that way

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GunslingerRoland

I don't really get this thread. You blocked him on and are accusing him of not communicating well? How can he communicate when you block him?

 

 

And you're mad that your bf looks at your pictures... that is a new one.

 

 

Maybe you're hearing alarm bells that didn't come across in the post, and if so, you've got to trust your gut and break up with him.

 

 

But right now it sounds like you are just playing games and toying with him.

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Oh come on. Give the guy a break! A woman knows when a man likes him. He likes you, and you know it. He has already become a nicer guy since he's been with you. What do you want him to do? Communicate... what does that mean? Don't be cruel, don't cut him off. You are purposely making him suffer in order to break him like breaking a wild animal. Where's the love?

 

I agree with this analysis 100%. OP, quit playing games with heart. You know you gotta stop, or he will dump you faster than a spicy curry dinner.

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Confusedchica
I don't really get this thread. You blocked him on and are accusing him of not communicating well? How can he communicate when you block him?

 

 

And you're mad that your bf looks at your pictures... that is a new one.

 

 

Maybe you're hearing alarm bells that didn't come across in the post, and if so, you've got to trust your gut and break up with him.

 

 

But right now it sounds like you are just playing games and toying with him.

 

I'm very sorry I didn't mean to Confuse you. As I've stated before I'm not feeling well so I've been out of it. But what I mean by him looking at my pictures is that I could text him I miss him or something of that nature and he'll read the text and NOT respond but INSTANTLY go looking at my pictures

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Confusedchica
I agree with this analysis 100%. OP, quit playing games with heart. You know you gotta stop, or he will dump you faster than a spicy curry dinner.

 

The reason I blocked him is because I was texting him and he was reading and not responding. Whenever I call him out on ANYTHING he shuts down. Like a big baby. I really got tired of it.

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The reason I blocked him is because I was texting him and he was reading and not responding. Whenever I call him out on ANYTHING he shuts down. Like a big baby. I really got tired of it.

 

Yet you stay with him because...?

 

If he's not responding to your communication and you block him, then why not just finish it by ending the relationship once and for all? He's not going to change. You're not going to change. Neither of you are compatible. That's the lesson here. You tried to tame a wild stallion and failed. It happens. He's not the guy for you. Move on.

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mystikmind2005

Wow, such a mixed bag of responses?

 

Well, lets deal with the narcissism first....

 

i think most normal people have an element of narcissism in them, but most people are capable of censoring it too some degree. A true narcissist does not have the will to censor these feelings, they just act on them instinctively, and it is unyielding.

 

A narcissist wants to set themselves up as your morel authority, they want to separate you from your friends and family that they cannot manipulate easily, they like to manipulate your own conscience to get you to yield to their perspective. Their image is very important to them - this one most people know! keeping up appearances, etc etc.

 

Eventually a narcissist will make you doubt yourself, reduce your self esteem, confidence and independence.

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I just mean that he leaves me hanging sometimes. Sometimes I feel I put myself out there by telling him things bother me and he brushes it off. Because he's so standoffish at time ppl thing I'm WAY more into him. And I know that's not the case and I guess it just bugs me that it's seen that way

 

Why do you care what other people think? That's part of the problem just be happy that you know he's into you. Maybe he isn't the only one with a big ego.

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If you are chica, maybe we should call what he exhibits machismo instead of narcissism.

He is a MAN. That's how some of them are. He is not your girlfriend. When he goes and looks at your picture, does that not touch you in some way? Poor guy! Set aside your ego, and try to be more understanding.

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The logic just doesn't make sense. I am not saying the guy is the greatest guy, but you are mad he doesn't respond so you block him. But why block someone who isn't responding? If you are mad he doesn't respond then why prevent him from responding?

 

The picture thing is also weird in the sense you have a problem with it. Would you rather he look at other girls? You have every right to be upset at some of the behavior he shows, but you don't help the situation in the way you respond.

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