Sirfilleto Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Hello, i'm suffering from the infamous retroactive jealousy over my girlfriend's past relationships. I get jealous over her first love and the idea of them cuddling and just not feeling sure if i'd be unique enough. Now we're both virgins (I know compared to a lot of other R.J problems, where people are jealous over sexual pasts, this may be nothing, but it still hurts a lot) Now I realise this is completely irrational and silly, but there's always the smallest of triggers that really screw up your day. Based on people's experience, is it a wise idea to let my girlfriend know and be aware of my retroactive jealousy? I know that she's a supportive person in general, but is it something that maybe is just better left unshared with your partner, and just go through the days suffering but may prove for the best, or has sharing it with your partner ever helped a lot? Thank you very much! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 You already know the answer to this. As you have said yourself, I realise this is completely irrational and silly because we're both virgins... If you're absolutely sure this is the case with her, then sadly, you really do need to get over yourself. I mean, what would you have been like if she had alreasy had a sexual encounter...?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sirfilleto Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 If it only it were that easy. However, that wasn't the question I wanted an answer to. I'd just like to know whether i'd get more out of it if I were to tell my GF that I was suffering from it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 No. It would make matters a lot worse because you would be guilt-tripping her and make her believe that even looking kindly at a guy was some sort of infidelity. The girl had a life before you. For you to pick on that incident and reveal your insecurities to her - for that is what it is - would be tactless and foolish. This is NOT her problem. This is YOUR problem. So to embroil her into it, would be a risk to her happiness and security. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 What is she supposed to do here for you? Her past is her past, she cannot change it. Do you want to tell her because you want her to divulge all the details to you? If that is your reasoning, then knowing the exact details may not actually help. Link to post Share on other sites
coryreply Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 I'm not sure that telling her would accomplish anything positive for your relationship. How long have you been together? Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 (edited) Hello, i'm suffering from the infamous retroactive jealousy over my girlfriend's past relationships. I get jealous over her first love and the idea of them cuddling and just not feeling sure if i'd be unique enough. Now we're both virgins (I know compared to a lot of other R.J problems, where people are jealous over sexual pasts, this may be nothing, but it still hurts a lot) Now I realise this is completely irrational and silly, but there's always the smallest of triggers that really screw up your day. Based on people's experience, is it a wise idea to let my girlfriend know and be aware of my retroactive jealousy? I know that she's a supportive person in general, but is it something that maybe is just better left unshared with your partner, and just go through the days suffering but may prove for the best, or has sharing it with your partner ever helped a lot? Thank you very much! The others are right, your girlfriend can't do anything for you. My suggestion would be to seek a professional life coach or counselor. Someone that doesn't know you personally, where they can give our unbiased advice. Edited July 21, 2015 by Javelin Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Hello, i'm suffering from the infamous retroactive jealousy over my girlfriend's past relationships. You make it sound like its commonplace to obsess over a person's history but it's really not. We've all got histories. Find a way to get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
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