Found texts, should I be worried?

[Cicerone]

My fiance and I are going through a rough patch. It's probably over I feel like, but she won't end it. She really wants to think about things since she got offered a job out of state. It's clear she's not sure about me going with her, but she doesn't want to make the irrational decision and break up and later realize its not what she wanted.

 

CONFUSING TIMES!

 

Anyways, we're very weird right now.. I said I wanted to cuddle last night (She was at her home) and she denied me. She's not affectionate nor lovey dovey..

 

So I find this guy that works up there with her, and they seem to be hitting it off.. While she's got a beautiful ring on her finger!

 

I get short texts, doesn't bother to initiate conversations where with this guy, its constant! She keeps denying he's part of the problem, but clearly can't look at me when saying he's not..

 

So I find some texts.. Am I really over thinking things or am I feeling like I'm being played?

 

Her: Miss me yet?

Him: I actually do

Her: Are you surprised about that?

Him: No, I knew I was before you left

Her: Oh yea?

 

Another, they all went to the lake and he left his shirt in the car, I found this:

Her: You left your shirt in my truck!

Him: Oh I'll get it back later

Her: I know I was just letting you know

Him: Now you have to come forsure because I need it

Her: Do you need it anytime soon?

Him: Next week would be nice

Her: I seriously wish.

 

Now she can't wait to go back, she's in love with it up there and absolutely hates it here. So keep that in mind

[d0nnivain]

If you think it's over, end it. You can't keep paying for expensive wedding preparations.

 

If you were suspicious enough to snoop through her texts because your gut was telling you something's wrong, you really need to talk to her about what you found & put the wedding on hold.

[smackie9]

Dude it's over......confront her, end it.

[Cicerone]

If you think it's over, end it. You can't keep paying for expensive wedding preparations.

 

If you were suspicious enough to snoop through her texts because your gut was telling you something's wrong, you really need to talk to her about what you found & put the wedding on hold.

The wedding has been postponed. None of those preparations are happening anymore. Everything is on halt while she "figures" things out.

[GorillaTheater]

It's probably over I feel like

 

This is really the heart of it, right? By all indications, including her being overly friendly with this other guy, you're right.

 

End things with as much dignity as possible for you and your quasi-fiancée and go on your separate ways. Be a "good ender". Don't wait for things to blow up even more than they have.

 

I was engaged to someone else before I got married. Stupid mistake on my part, and I stupidly hung on far too long. Don't do that, because there are far better matches for you out there.

[d0nnivain]

The wedding has been postponed. None of those preparations are happening anymore. Everything is on halt while she "figures" things out.

 

What do you want?

 

Personally I wouldn't want to be someone's second choice.

 

If she's taking jobs without consulting you, not sure she wants to live where you are or have you move where she is and she's inappropriately flirty with this other guy, why are you letting her make all the decisions about YOUR future. If you are done, ask for the ring back & walk away.

[CarrieT]

The wedding has been postponed. None of those preparations are happening anymore. Everything is on halt while she "figures" things out.

 

That means you are willing to sit in a back burner while she flirts and cavorts with another guy to see if he is marriage material.

 

End the cycle and end the relationship.

[jen1447]

What's the big mystery here? You already knew all this in your last thread. Why go text message mining looking for more evidence? Just end - it couldn't be anymore clear.

[Cicerone]

And another thing that made me laugh last night...

 

She barely texts me, right? So she just stops texting me, I don't even care at that point. I end up going out with a bunch of friends and she gets jealous and mad that I didn't invite her because I know she loves that place.

 

She told me its stupid that I was going out and drinking, when thats what shes been doing for the past week at her internship. It's just crazy. You can't have your cake and eat it too

 

I think I may be ready to end things. I don't deserve to be treated this way.

[Cicerone]

What's the big mystery here? You already knew all this in your last thread. Why go text message mining looking for more evidence? Just end - it couldn't be anymore clear.

I'm terrible at letting go. But you're right, I really need to just let it go.

[66Charger]

Get the ring back today. Free her now. And free yourself. Tell her you will keep the ring and maybe propose again later. This will either wake her up, or start your process of separation.Bro, she is texting sweet messages to other guys. Cmon now. Get the ring back.

 

Do the 180. Research it under the thread in infedilty by yasunido.

 

Start it today

[Spectre]

Get the ring back and walk away. She agreed to marry you, but now she has to "think about things" ? Nope, boot her to the curb. She should of thought about things before saying yes. If a job offer is enough to make her reconsider then she doesn't love you or want to marry you.

 

Also her getting mad for you going out when she has been going out a lot(probably with her guy friend she works with) again, speaks volumes. Curb, boot, you know the drill. But yeah, GET that ring back. Do not let her keep it and do not tell her you might propose later. You proposed once and honestly, once is enough. She said yes, and now wants to reconsider. If she wanted to marry you she wouldn't be "not sure" about you going with her.

 

Dump her, get the ring, and let her know it is over for good. Do you want to marry a woman who plays these types of games? If a job is all it takes for her to get up in arms and be "reconsidering things" then like I said, boot, curb.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Spectre

[Lois_Griffin]

Everything is on halt while she "figures" things out.

 

LOL.

 

Let me convert that to cheater-speak for you.

 

The only thing she needs to 'figure out' is how to continue playing footsie with this other guy while keeping you as her 'sure thing.'

 

She's so transparent it isn't even funny.

[minime13]

My fiance and I are going through a rough patch. It's probably over I feel like, but she won't end it. She really wants to think about things since she got offered a job out of state. It's clear she's not sure about me going with her, but she doesn't want to make the irrational decision and break up and later realize its not what she wanted.

 

...

 

Now she can't wait to go back, she's in love with it up there and absolutely hates it here. So keep that in mind

 

You are engaged to be married, but she isn't sure that she wants you relocating with her for her new job? And, to add insult to injury, she hates where you live and loves where she now lives?

 

It doesn't matter who she's texting or what they're doing. The writing is on the wall.

[Fleur de cactus]

Dont marry her. Break up , take your ring back. You are nowhere in her current and future plans, she does not include you in her work plan. She is cheating , she really wants the other guy, i know you see it. Dump her. She is not good.

[Purepony]

Is this a real thread?

 

Get your ring get your stuff and run far and run fast!

 

Stop making dumb excuses its over! Didn't you see the texts

[66Charger]

I only suggested you say you might propose again to avoid a battle over the ring. Once you have it, see if you can get a refund.

[lolablue17]

Ok, after she said "she needs to think", you gave her time and didn't make any ultimatum.

 

You're a great guy, bla bla bla but that's it. The only way she can have you is by getting on her knees, begging and pleading you to come back, AFTER YOU END IT.

 

There is no better time than TODAY! Just ask for the ring back, walk away today and don't look back.

[Cicerone]

Its done.

 

I have the ring sitting next to me.

 

Her response when I was saying goodbye,

"What if I stay here though. What if?"

 

Ugh.. Little too late for that now..

[kendahke]

It's probably over I feel like, but she won't end it.

 

So I find some texts.. Am I really over thinking things or am I feeling like I'm being played?

 

Her: Miss me yet?

Him: I actually do

Her: Are you surprised about that?

Him: No, I knew I was before you left

Her: Oh yea?

 

Another, they all went to the lake and he left his shirt in the car, I found this:

Her: You left your shirt in my truck!

Him: Oh I'll get it back later

Her: I know I was just letting you know

Him: Now you have to come forsure because I need it

Her: Do you need it anytime soon?

Him: Next week would be nice

Her: I seriously wish.

 

Now she can't wait to go back, she's in love with it up there and absolutely hates it here. So keep that in mind

 

END IT!

 

That's not up to her. And print out these texts and fling them in her teeth and tell her you're done and have a nice life.

 

What woman who is invested in her man, is engaged to him asks another man if he misses her yet? Or "seriously wishes" that she could see him soon? A ratchet one, that's who. And the thing is, there is enough intimate familiarity between them that for him, it's a foregone conclusion that he knows he'll be seeing her to get his shirt back. So at the very least, they've got an emotional affair going on---I wouldn't be surprised if they've had some form of sexual contact with one another.

Edited June 3, 2015 by kendahke

[kylle]

"What if I stay here though. What if?"

 

- Then you can go f*ck yourself right here instead of there.

[ExpatInItaly]

Its done.

 

I have the ring sitting next to me.

 

Her response when I was saying goodbye,

"What if I stay here though. What if?"

 

Ugh.. Little too late for that now..

 

This was definitely the best ending for you. She had already checked out and was flirting with another guy.

 

How did you respond when she asked the above question?

[Chi townD]

Sorry you had to go through that. But, I know it and you know that it's for the best. I mean, looking at the texts between her and some dude is the text conversation she SHOULD have been having with you!

 

 

Now, comes the hard part. NC. You need to do a hard NC. If she's still in the area, she'll probably contact you again. So, you need to wait out the storm. Once she moves to wherever this guy is, then she'll be gone. So, BLOCK her on all of your social media. Stay Busy! Make positive changes.

[Cicerone]

This was definitely the best ending for you. She had already checked out and was flirting with another guy.

 

How did you respond when she asked the above question?

I responded in a mature way.

 

"You've been working hard for this and its your dream to work there. Just because you ruined us doesn't mean I'm going to be the person to stop you from chasing that."

[Torii]

The answer you don't want to hear: BREAK UP.

 

 

You need to forget about your feelings for this woman, because it's obviously she is very delusional by thinking you'll stay around while she's conversing with another man.

 

She wants to have the best of both worlds; she wants you to believe she's being a faithful wife all while chasing other men. She doesn't want to be tied down and it seems to me that she doesn't have the decency to tell you this. Instead she'll string you along, because according to her, that's the only way to get you to leave her.