If they are accusing you of cheating they are usually cheating themselves!

[sunshinesunshine]

Is this thing true?

[adamastor]

It's probably as true as the statement saying that if a girl is playing with her hair it is a sign she is attracted to you.

[mstie]

My mom always said that

Both her ex husbands did it. And my ex fiancee did it. Believe it is quite true

[elaine567]

Depends if there is evidence and proof.

A partner who finds their husband/wife is not coming home at night, who is spending a huge time with or who is texting a co worker, who is glamming themselves up, who has gone off sex... etc can accuse and is not cheating themselves.

 

Also those who have been cheated on before may overly accuse but would never cheat themselves.

 

So whilst it may be a sign, it is not necessarily always true

[PegNosePete]

It is true that often someone who is cheating will display strong anti-cheating feelings, blame-shift, gaslight and deflect.

 

But that does not mean someone who accuses you of cheating, is cheating themselves.

 

It's like saying that snow makes you cold, therefore whenever you're cold, it must be snowing. Obviously untrue, a logical fallacy.

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

People like to project their situation onto others to validate themselves as being rational - so I would say this one is true sometimes.

[No Limit]

Yep, it's called projecting. I've been trying to get a friend of mine to understand it as well (especially he already cheated once) but no, she insists that she "has everything under control"... sigh

[Harribo28]

Completely depends on the person and the circumstances. Someone who has been cheated on before can be terrified of it happening again and it can start to consume their mind.

[smackie9]

Yup it's usually true OR they are extremely insecure/paranoid.....either way, if they start behaving this way towards you, the relationship has come to an end and you should get out anyways.

[Hopeful714]

I accused my ex of cheating often.

 

And he cheated on me often.

 

And although he tried to say it was I who was the cheater, because I was the accuser....I never once cheated on him or even thought about it.

[Spectre]

It's not always the case though. I wouldn't even say that a majority of the time it means the person accusing you is actually cheating. Some people can just be paranoid and have a hard time trusting.

 

Then you have people like me, who were cheated on in the past. Someone said a person accusing you of cheating can be projecting, I find that to be true because I did it too, but I wasn't projecting the fact I cheated(I never have) but rather projecting the anger and insecurity that stemmed from a past betrayal..onto a current relationship.

 

I think people need to be understanding of those who have been betrayed in the past via cheating. If you get involved with someone who was cheated on I think you need to be prepared to deal with the kind of issues a person can develop as a result of such a betrayal..and these issues can linger for a long time even after you've gotten over the person who betrayed you. I am not saying a person who was cheated on in the past has the right to be all accusatory to a new partner who never cheated, I'm just saying at least some understanding should be had..because to people who have been cheated on they want to protect their heart at all costs.

 

This is the damage cheaters do and it is the damage they don't even realize they do. You don't just damage a persons present, but their future as well. You nearly obliterate their ability to trust, make it hard for them to let someone in, etc.

Edited April 30, 2015 by Spectre

[Price2Play]

My scenario isn't really "cheating" per se. While I was dating my ex she was consistently asking me if I was talking to any ex's. She down right grilled me at one point, how about your ex wf? Do you talk to her? Nope, I'm not talking to any of my ex's!

 

Low and behold I find out she's talking to an ex! The RS was dead between them, she just loved the extra attention and her was pining after her. EGO stroke! Oh the hypocrisy cracks me up. SMH, oh well move on.

[fardaxel]

Possibly. I think you're referring to "gaslighting", which is when someone tries to conceal their bad behaviour by making the other person feel like their suspicions are crazy.

[davidromero43]

Is this thing true?

 

It was for me. My exwife accused me of cheating all the time. I never accused her of cheating. Then I found out she was cheating. And I never did.