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The unwilling other woman


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So, in January I worked on a project with an Italian company that came to do a multi-city promotional tour of the US. I fell for one of the team members. At the end of the project, the rest of the team went home and he stayed a few extra days and we spent the whole time together and it got intimate.

 

After he went back to Italy we stayed in contact via texting and skype. I started to like this guy more and more. Two months in, after a long skype call, he texts me in the morning that he had a girlfriend the whole time. We skype again to talk it out. I told him I would not be contacting him anymore but I'm pretty wrecked about it..

 

I've been cheated on.. and he made me an accomplice.

I should be furious but I'm not which is frustrating.

I miss him even though he's (obviously) bad news.

From what I knew him to be, it's something I didn't expect.

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ExpatInItaly
So, in January I worked on a project with an Italian company that came to do a multi-city promotional tour of the US. I fell for one of the team members. At the end of the project, the rest of the team went home and he stayed a few extra days and we spent the whole time together and it got intimate.

 

After he went back to Italy we stayed in contact via texting and skype. I started to like this guy more and more. Two months in, after a long skype call, he texts me in the morning that he had a girlfriend the whole time. We skype again to talk it out. I told him I would not be contacting him anymore but I'm pretty wrecked about it..

 

I've been cheated on.. and he made me an accomplice.

I should be furious but I'm not which is frustrating.

I miss him even though he's (obviously) bad news.

From what I knew him to be, it's something I didn't expect.

 

Sorry you're here OP. This guy is a dog. But a couple things:

 

You weren't cheated on. You were not in a relationship with this man (at least, based on your description it doesn't sound like a relationship) ; his girlfriend got cheated on. I don't mean to lessen your sense of betrayal, but I don't get how you can assert he cheated on you.

 

You haven't known this man long enough to assume this isn't something to expect from him. You only know what he presented himself to be. You met him a couple months ago, and you know virtually nothing about his home life here (I happen to be in Italia too!) The only version you know is his version, which you've discovered is not exactly the truth.

 

Go No Contact with him. He's not who you thought he was. Every time you miss him. remember that he didn't respect you enough to be honest with you. His actions were all about satisfying his needs, not yours.

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Misunderstanding. I've been cheated on before.. He didn't cheat on me, but with me. And I hate that I'm the OP in this situation...

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You are as much a victim as she is. Be happy you were early on & can walk away. It wasn't your fault.

 

Just stay away from him going forward.

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we live we love we lose we move on. Over the course of a few months you will probably go through different emotions as you grieve your loss. Right now you are just numb with shock and loss....I'm sure anger will be coming next.

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ExpatInItaly
Misunderstanding. I've been cheated on before.. He didn't cheat on me, but with me. And I hate that I'm the OP in this situation...

 

Ah, ok. I misunderstood what you meant.

 

But yes, be happy you didn't invest anymore and can walk away relatively easily.

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So, in January I worked on a project with an Italian company that came to do a multi-city promotional tour of the US. I fell for one of the team members. At the end of the project, the rest of the team went home and he stayed a few extra days and we spent the whole time together and it got intimate.

 

After he went back to Italy we stayed in contact via texting and skype. I started to like this guy more and more. Two months in, after a long skype call, he texts me in the morning that he had a girlfriend the whole time. We skype again to talk it out. I told him I would not be contacting him anymore but I'm pretty wrecked about it..

 

I've been cheated on.. and he made me an accomplice.

I should be furious but I'm not which is frustrating.

I miss him even though he's (obviously) bad news.

From what I knew him to be, it's something I didn't expect.

 

Another B Movie actor feigning sincerity.

 

Practice No Contact as if your life depends on it.

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