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Dealing with unjustified jealousy.


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I need some help.

 

I'm in a good relationship with someone who treats me very well, but previously have had not so good experiences.

 

My boyfriend is friends with some coworkers, most who are girls, and every few weeks they get together for dinner or some kind of event. He brought me to dinner with them a couple weeks ago and I got a good vibe from most of them. Except one, who was also the most attractive one, who gave me a pretty dirty or judgmental look at one point that really bothered me.

 

Anyway. My boyfriend told me he loves me, makes me his #1 priority, is available whenever I want to see him, schedules dates with me 3-4x a week etc. But today I'm out of town and he went out with his coworkers and I feel very jealous and very upset that he spent time with the attractive girl. I'm also attractive but she's thinner and I feel trained to feel like that's all that matters. :rolleyes:

 

What do I do when I see him next? Do I bring this up? Or pretend I don't struggle with this? :(

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Don't bring it up with him at all. Confide in a close girlfriend, these kinds of things are not things you discuss with a partner unless you want to destroy the relationship. Deal with it yourself, unless your bf gives you reason to believe that something is going on between them, then he doesn't need to know this immature form of jealousy.

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Thinner doesn't mean you will lose this BF to her. He treats you good and expresses his love to you....that is what you should focus on. Also he goes out as a group, it's not one on one. I believe you are reading things that are not there and it's your insecurity making your imagination run away with you. Her negative reaction to you was probably she could feel your vibe that you didn't like her because she was more attractive. You may not think she can't see what you are thinking, but she did.

I experienced this with wives and GFs myself.....it's "I hate you, stay away from my man" look. It's bloody annoying, so I scowl back at them for thinking it.

 

Here's a life's lesson...there will always be someone, nicer, thinner and more attractive than you. And you can't stop a man from finding someone else being more attractive, or think lustful thoughts, or check them out. It's what a man does, but the majority don't act on it because they are happy with the person they are in love with. It's like men have two brains, one for lust and one for love. Even if they see someone attractive, it doesn't mean they think any less of you.

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