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Am I wrong to be upset at this lie?


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estevenson1962

I met her on pof 8 months ago. We connected right away, began having sex after the 2nd date and fell in love. She told me about dating several guys before we met, and sleeping with some of them. Most treated her bad, and tried to take advantage of her. She was alone, and looking for a long-term relationship, and was vulnerable. Because of this, she had trust issues when we met.

Around 3 months, she sent me a text that I was unable to respond to for several hours. When I did respond, I did not realize she was upset, and made matter worse. It became a heated argument, and I told her if she couldn't trust me, that we should not be together. She agreed, and said she was going to start dating again, and hung up.

The next day, she called, and asked if we could meet. I agreed, and we met at her house. We were able to work things out, I thought. I did ask her if she was serious about dating again, and she said she had put up new pictures on her pof profile, had several messages from guys, but wan't interested in any of them.

We were to go out that Saturday, but I had a family matter come up, and had to beg off. She was disappointed, but said she understood. On Sunday, I called her, and was surprised to learn she had gone out on a date the night before. She acted like it was no big deal, and said nothing happened except a couple of good night kisses next to her car. The guy wanted to go out again, but she was going to text him and cancel. A couple days later, she told me she had texted him, he was a jerk about it, and it made her realize that she had a good man in me.

A week ago, an older lady who is her best friend and confidant contacted me. She wanted to know if I knew about the date after our argument, and the dates she had gone on right after we had met. Of course, I knew nothing about those, just the one after the argument. The lady told me my GF had seen an old BF twice, once at a bar, another time at the guys house so he could tell her why he had dumped her, for "closure". GF was adamant nothing had happened, just a goodbye hug.

The lady then told me GF had contacted her following the date after the argument. She was excited, and attracted to the guy. They had started the evening on beer, then went to shots. He wanted to go to her house, but she refused. She told the lady they had spent an hour in the back seat of his car making out, but "he didn't touch my stuff, and I didnt touch his", whatever that means. The second date was to be at her house, and he was going to spend the weekend.

Since then, I have been with her twice. When we kiss, I wonder if she was kissing him with the same passion. I can't believe they made out for an hour without her getting felt up. And I wonder what happened on the other dates I didnt know about until now.

I would appreciate some advice. Thanks

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Uhhhhh, I don't think that I'd take a chance on this gal. She's more or less proved that she wouldn't hesitate for a minute in lying to you. Wish her well, and then move on to someone more trustworthy. :confused:

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So she gets upset with you, reconciles, and because you had a family thing she goes out on a date?! She sounds like she got exactly what she deserved in those other relationships. Not only has she proven that she is a liar, but that she won't stick around when times are tough. My detective skills also tell me that she was talking to that guy before the argument. No way in one day she read a profile, decided she liked him, spoke to him and then felt comfortable to meet him. In my experience guys tend to up-play situations they have regarding women, where as women will down-play their interactions with men.

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estevenson1962

I think you are right. Thinking back on it, she was talking to him at least the next day after the break-up. That would have given her a week to set up the date. Had it on stand-by when I had to beg off.

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evanescentworld

You're an Option.

 

Is that ok with you?

 

It wouldn't be with me.....

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estevenson1962

As far as her making out for an hour in the back seat of a car, does anyone believe that he didn't touch her, or she touched him? That really got me. Probably bothered more than any of the rest.

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evanescentworld
As far as her making out for an hour in the back seat of a car, does anyone believe that he didn't touch her, or she touched him?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

Oh.... sorry....

You're serious....?

 

Ahem.

 

Then - no.

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Goodness. Are you really that desperate to be/have someone that you'd have absolutely zero boundaries?

 

And yes, for an hour they had their bodies a foot away from each other, hands tied behind their back while they puckered up with only their lips touching.

 

C'mon OP.

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evanescentworld

It's not a question of 'fun'.

 

Just close off all contact, and any possible avenue available thereof.

 

Drop off her radar, and make like a ghost.

If she wants to galavant, at least she can do it with no safety net....

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