confused_one1 Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Yea as the title says i've cheated on my girlfriend. And being the spineless coward i am have not told her. Our relationship is much better now because i realized how i wasnt treating her like she deserved before (ironic when ive done the worst thing in the world huh?) - i know, i need to tell her so she can verbally abuse me and dumb my sorry ass to move on into a happy relationship while i drown in self-disgust. But its so hard, ive tried several times, and i am too worthless. I want to kill myself rather than go on knowing what i have done, yet another coward move. So yeah no real point to this except telling everyone (that obviously have enough deceny already) to never cheat on your love. You WILL regret it and you WILL hate yourself. And to think i wanted to spend my life with this wonderful woman and then ****ed her over. She deserves so much better than me, i need to tell her next time i see her, and accept that i am a maggot. Link to post Share on other sites
lil_lionwoman Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I'm going to avoid being a judgmental person here because you seem to be doing all the harsh judgmental work for yourself. Yes it's terrible that you cheated on her, and I think you've decided to tell her, which I must commend you for. My only advice(if you want it) would be to write how you feel in a letter. Give it to her in person and let her decide if she wants to continue or not. She's gonna hate you as can be expected she may even ignore you for a while but you have to give her ample time to process it all. Good luck to you but I think any guy who feels as bad as you seem to deserves a second chance. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused_one1 Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 Thank you but i dont deserve a second chance. I deserve to be alone for the rest of my life. I didnt think of her once that night, its like i forgot she existed. This girl is so wonderful, she is the sweetest and most kind hearted girl on the planet, im the only guy she has been with too. I love her more than anything, how could i do this to someone i feel like this for? I have a ton of excuses but none matter, i just want to die but she will still know what i did, ive probably ruined her ability to trust guys for a long time even if only a few are as utterly disgusting as me. Link to post Share on other sites
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 1. See a therapist immediately. If you're too ashamed to tell the therapist that you cheated on your girlfriend and are feeling guilty, just print out this thread. 2. Tell your girlfriend you cheated. She deserves to know the truth. 3. Then tell your girlfriend you're in therapy. It sounds like you are both very young, which would explain the melodrama. Look, a lot of people really hurt each other (not necessarily with cheating, but other things) in their early relationships. It's just how it goes when you're so young, idealistic and inexperienced. You need a therapist to help you understand your current state of mind and what led you to cheat so you can strengthen your future relationships. You don't deserve to be alone forever and I'm sure you won't be. Your girlfriend might dump you, but she might not. She will probably be very hurt, but I'm sure she'll be strong enough to heal and move forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 ive probably ruined her ability to trust guys for a long time even if only a few are as utterly disgusting as me. A few? It's a lot actually. Basically you only without the guilty conscience and continually cheating until they get caught or one of their bimbos looks like an upgrade from their old girl. Very mature, all that. People seem to be very desperate to cling onto each other the past few years. There's still the chance that she'll give you a second chance despite what happened. Of course, it's not in your hand anymore what will become of the relationship afterwards, she might as well go cheating herself; for some reason people seem to forget their own values and principles after being cheated on/betrayed. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 I cant help but feel that since its her first relationship spare her the incoming trust issues and just do a normal break up. Tho if you do tell her it will prob be easier for her to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
stillcold Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 confused_one1, you've recognized your wrong and you're truly sorry for it and that is a great sign. It is also great that you are going to tell her as that is the right thing to do, but obviously you nor I know what her reaction will be in the end. So what I would do is this my friend: tell her in person, and also pour out your heart in a letter and say EVERYTHING you feel: the guilt, the wanting to die, etc., everything. Give her this letter after you guys are done talking so she may have something to reflect on. It is a must! You must make sure to convince her that you are truly remorseful and that you're willing to do ANYTHING to fix it, you must admit everything and give the whole truth. Let us know how it goes my friend; pour out your heart, ask for forgiveness, and hope that she grants you it. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 I don't agree with writing a letter to give to her or asking to work things out. I think you should write a letter pouring out your feelings. Read, reread it, reread it again until the major points of what you wish to express sink in. Then meet her in person in a private place for your mea culpa. Tell her face to face. After you've said your piece/peace, it is her show. You must abide. You are not ready to be back with her, even if she wants to take you back. You can begin therapy and/or you can start to tell your story on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Haerts Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 You regret what you did, which is a great sign like others have mentioned. I always get lost in these situations, 'cause I'd never know what to do. Still, the most honest thing you can do is tell her, with all your heart. Tell her what you did, but make it clear to her that it's not happening again and that you absolutely regret it. Make sure she knows it was a mistake. It will be in her hands to decide what to do, so give her time to think, don't rush things and accept it if she decides to break for good. Let's put it this way: if one night you got very angry and killed someone, you'd certainly go to jail. It was a mistake, you're not going back in time, that person won't come back alive and you'll have to pay for your mistake, it doesn't matters how much you regret it. So her trust in you won't ever be the same and you'll have to deal with that if she decides to try again. I hope you guys will be okay, but don't hide this from her. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I say confess and breakup with her. My ex just did a normal breakup, but never gave me closure...it was torture not knowing why, it really messed me up. He did eventually told me but that was almost two months later. Do the right thing and stop being a damn coward. Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 Thank you but i dont deserve a second chance. I deserve to be alone for the rest of my life. You may reclaim your honour and integrity by doing on thing: confessing to your girlfriend immediately. Man up. Do it...or continue to wallow in your cowardice for the rest of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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