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For those that are keeping secrets.....


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For those of you that have cheated on your SO or are keeping secrets from them that you know they would want to know... PLEASE tell them and show them the respect they deserve so they can make informed choices like you are making. If you end up married, do you really want them doubting, years later, what there life may have been like had they known the truth? Do you want them wondering why they weren't worthy of being told the truth? Do you want them wondering why you didn't care about what they wanted and why you didn't care enough about them to say no to someone else and why you didn't care enough about them to be honest to them? They deserve better and you deserve to be with someone who chooses to be with you rather than being with someone who has stayed with you by being tricked and deceived.

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Doesn't change the fact that majority of people who do cheat don't have the character to do it. I'm sorry you're hurt, but in the end there's no reason for you to stay and deal with a cheater either.

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Doesn't change the fact that majority of people who do cheat don't have the character to do it. I'm sorry you're hurt, but in the end there's no reason for you to stay and deal with a cheater either.

 

Thanks. I am choosing to stay because it has been good prior to d-day, the cheating was a long time ago before we were married (lies were ongoing) and we have kids. It isn't fair to the kids for me to leave and have them suffer for because I can't get past her lies.

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I think im lucky and found the minority of "cheaters". He told me right away because one of his character traits is honesty.

 

I too prefer the truth and actually told him that one of the most important reasons i was considering continuing the relationship was his honesty about it.

 

I prefer to be with a cheater than a liar.

 

and most of all as toughlove said , i want the choice. I am grateful he told me, despite the pain. He gave me the choice to continue a life with him or without.

 

See, keeping a lie like that is usually hard. Sooner or later it will come out. If my guy didn't tell me and i found out years later, with kids or grandkids or whatever, i would be wondering about what else was a big fat lie? Trust would be lost forever. Trust is built upon honesty, not chances of cheating.

 

So again, I prefer to be with a cheater than a liar.

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