dont know

[martym]

I have recently found out that my partner of 13 years cheated on me with a women for 18 months 5 years ago when my oldest daughter was a toddler and I was pregnant with our second, he says it was just for sex and that he loves me and regrets what he has done, but I just feel that I will never get past that betrayal, has anyone out there forgiven there partner and gotten over it? It just seems impossible right now

[Space Ritual]

You may never get over it.....you may get through it but getting over it is an entirely different matter that takes years to accomplish.

 

 

Let me ask you what actions is your partner taking to help you heal? Talk is cheap so only through constant and daily actions can you gauge a person's commitment to moving forward.

 

Is he transparent?

Has he answered every question you have without defensiveness?

Has he given you access to his passwords and social media accounts?

Has he gone no contact with his affair partner and can you verify that 100 percent?

generally cheaters will profess they will do anything to make it work, but many times they will just expect you to believe them....which is probably not a good idea.

[TaraMaiden]

While I absolutely in no way condone his deceitful actions, I would say that some men DO have a tendency to view sex in a different light, and they can emotionally 'detach' from the sexual act and use it as a mere release.

 

That said, the fact that this went on for 5 months - while you were busy nurturing one child and bringing up another, leaves his insistence that it was just for sex, very much open to question.

When men have sex, just for sex, it usually does involve a brief instance and even if it's repeated, it's not often with the same woman.

 

I'm not surprised this is something you can't shift.

 

Have you guys gone in for relationships counselling?

You say 'partner'.

Does one take it that you are therefore, not actually married?