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EX Problems... Need Advice....


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My ex-bf broke up with me in April last year, I suspected him of cheating, I found a girls credit card in his car and when I asked to meet the girl he completely went off on me and made me feel paranoid and jealous. So after he broke up with me, couple of months later I found that he was cheating on me with the girl that he is now with. I found this through his phone bill, which came to my house and was on my name, because the cell phone was was a present from me to him for valentines day. I confronted him with it, and he completely denied it and said he just called her couple of times but the bill had him call her 42 times in a month, I do not think you call someone to ask a question so many times..... Now I really wanted to call the girl and wanted to speak to her, but I thought two months later to call her, I would look like a total fool. But now, its been a while and I am still bothered by it and I still want to call her. The main problem is that I work with him, got him the job when I was with him... tried to do something nice and it kind of back fired, I see him every day and it makes it hard to get over him... A week ago he went on vacation with her, and I am completely upset.... he acts around me like he didnt do anything and acts extra nice, trying to butter me up.. and if I get upset makes me feel like I am a total bitch and I am making his life miserable... I dont know what to do, I am not able to find a new job at the moment... and I cant deal with working with him anymore, I cant get over him, I cant move on... I am dying to call her, I know it is his fault ... but I want to know if she knew... I guess I want him to hurt... I am so confused and I am hurt... help... :(

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ive been in a similar situation i found out my husband was cheating by the phonebills and when we first seperated i wanted 2 call or email so bad and see how shhe could break up our marriage and our childrns lives. but i never called or emailed and im glad i never did. as fo aways seeing hi im in that boat 2 my husband comes here every weekend to visit the kids and i is so hard. good luck

xalysabeh

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Why are you glad that you never called??

The thing is.. he tells me she knew about me... but his friends tell me that she didnt know anything about this and that they themselves were surprised he did it...

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From your posts I think your exboy sounds like a total jerk. I'm sorry that you have to work with him, that must be difficult. Is it possible to move to a different job? I know that you SHOULDN'T have to leave because he's there, but I think it may help a little.

 

As for calling the girl I don't think it would be such a great idea. You may find things out that would just hurt you more, and there's no point in that. He's over, he's history, he's finito. He's not cheating on you anymore. He and his girlfriend are of no importance in your life.

 

Move on, quit worrying about it. Not to mention that you may hurt her as well. What if she didn't know about you guys? If she found out that her boyfriend was still with his ex when they first started dating she might show up on here with a post titled *I can't get over my boyfriend's exgirlfriend* or something.

 

The way he dealt with his new relationship with her and yours is ****ty, but it doesn't matter anymore. It's time to take what you learned and move on.

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You know, I know what you mean and logically that is what I am thinking... but I just can't. It is completely bothering me.... Job wise... I like this job, and I feel that it is completely unfair that I have to leave.. him ending up with someone else and a good job.. mean while I end up alone and looking for a new job...

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i dont know i think i'm glad i didnt call because i have enough bad memories associated with it that i am glad i dont have the phone call to go over in my head also.. she knew about me too they started talking at work as freinds i guess she complained about her husband (she too was married with a kid) and i was pregent with our second she knew i was pregent and everything.. i had a lot of questions to her but i feel a lot better now that so much time has passed and am just glad i didnt call.

xalysabeth

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That's totally understandable that you don't want to quit your job just because he's there, but you need to somehow get over him. Have you been dating other guys recently? Do you always have to see him at work or is he avoidable?

 

he acts around me like he didnt do anything and acts extra nice, trying to butter me up.. and if I get upset makes me feel like I am a total bitch and I am making his life miserable...

 

My advice to you is to not let him know that it upsets you. You guys are over now. Try to look at him more as a coworker instead of an exboyfriend. Maybe that will help?

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