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Is he trying to make me jealous?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Old 17th December 2011, 4:04 PM   #1
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Question Is he trying to make me jealous?

My ex and I recently broke up, rather he dumped me because he wasn't sure of his feelings towards me. So I've been moving on with my life quite nicely. He met one of my really close girl friend once. She just mentioned her boyfriend, and then my ex actually started complaining about our relationship (while we were still together). She felt really uncomfortable and wanted to stop the conversation, but he kept on going. We broke up about a week ago on Thursday. He actually messaged her three times with a couple of days in between (she never replied) saying:

"I remember 'Amy' was talking about that movie, I never got a chance to see it, was it good?"

"I had a really nice talk with you last time, we should talk again soon."

"How did your test go?"

I don't care who's he's interested in currently, but it just can't be a good friend of mine. its weird. Is he trying to get close to me from her? Or trying to make me jealous? Or just interested in her? It really bothers me. (since they've only talked and met once)
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Old 17th December 2011, 9:57 PM   #2
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Uh. He sounds like a total prick. My guess would be that he is probably actually interested in her. If he was trying to make you jealous he probably wouldn't be messaging her privately. He would probably be flaunting it to the world in the hopes that you would see it.

Hopefully you can trust your friend to not take the bait. The guy doesn't deserve the time of day from you. But it would suck to lose a good friend because of this.
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Old 17th December 2011, 10:17 PM   #3
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She said it makes her really uncomfortable, and she hasn't responded to anything. Do you think I can ask him to stop? it really bothers me since we broke up only a week ago, and he started messaging her a day or two after. I can't believe he would do this to me.. We have three years behind us

I just really hope he's not that kind of guy. I don't want to feel like I misjudged him, since i always thought he was a decent guy...

Last edited by sunflowering; 17th December 2011 at 10:27 PM..
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Old 17th December 2011, 11:50 PM   #4
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This is something that IF my ex-husband did, knowing him, it would be because he loves to "collect" women in his life. Not necessarily for the purposeof dating them, just to have them love him. He likes to impress people with his fakeness. Though, he wouldn't do it to a friend of mine.

Maybe he's trying to get close to you or make you jealous. Maybe he's interested in her as a woman or just as a friend. Or it could be all of the above. We don't know your ex. But men have pretty clear boundaries on stuff like that (dating ex's friends). On the other hand, men don't know that we tell each other everything to the tiniest detail, because they don't do that.

Is your friend attractive? How long were you and your ex together? Is he the kind of person that would date your friend? Is he a womanizer?
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Old 18th December 2011, 12:07 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by sunflowering View Post
She said it makes her really uncomfortable, and she hasn't responded to anything. Do you think I can ask him to stop? it really bothers me since we broke up only a week ago, and he started messaging her a day or two after. I can't believe he would do this to me.. We have three years behind us

I just really hope he's not that kind of guy. I don't want to feel like I misjudged him, since i always thought he was a decent guy...
Definitely, do not- tell him to stop. Have her ignore him and you ignore him. In the chance you confront him, he knows he got the best of you and also it is like an excuse for you to contact him. You should be no contact.
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Old 18th December 2011, 1:15 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by RecordProducer View Post
This is something that IF my ex-husband did, knowing him, it would be because he loves to "collect" women in his life. Not necessarily for the purposeof dating them, just to have them love him. He likes to impress people with his fakeness. Though, he wouldn't do it to a friend of mine.

Maybe he's trying to get close to you or make you jealous. Maybe he's interested in her as a woman or just as a friend. Or it could be all of the above. We don't know your ex. But men have pretty clear boundaries on stuff like that (dating ex's friends). On the other hand, men don't know that we tell each other everything to the tiniest detail, because they don't do that.

Is your friend attractive? How long were you and your ex together? Is he the kind of person that would date your friend? Is he a womanizer?
She is attractive, but they've only met at most twice. I dated him for three years, but we broke up during the summer, and I decided to give him another chance in october, and we broke up a week ago... he messaged her a couple days after we broke up actually.... she says she hope me and my ex can be friends again sometime..
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Old 18th December 2011, 1:43 PM   #7
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DO NOT say anything to him about it. He will know that he got to you and he doesn't deserve that satisfaction. It's much easier said than done but just leave it be. Hopefully your friend just keeps ignoring him and he just goes away.

Also, don't worry about being friends with him in the future. He sounds like a real a-hole. You don't need an a-hole as a friend. Right now just focus on you and getting him untangled from you.
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Old 19th December 2011, 8:14 AM   #8
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The fact that they've only met twice and he's got her phone number is interesting to me.

Anyway..., he's disrespecting you even if you have already broken up.He breaks up with you and then starts texting someone he knows that you are close to. That's says, "I don't care about your feelings".

Either way, I'd lay low and try to break away from this guy. ,
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Old 19th December 2011, 9:21 AM   #9
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The fact that they've only met twice and he's got her phone number is interesting to me.

Anyway..., he's disrespecting you even if you have already broken up.He breaks up with you and then starts texting someone he knows that you are close to. That's says, "I don't care about your feelings".

Either way, I'd lay low and try to break away from this guy. ,
I agree with this. Sometimes people on both sides of the equation like to be attention whores. Hopefully, your friend is not one.

But I have been put through the wringer on this one with both "friends" and family members enjoying the "friendship" that I "forced" upon them while I was dating or married to the prick.
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Old 19th December 2011, 2:50 PM   #10
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The fact that they've only met twice and he's got her phone number is interesting to me.

Anyway..., he's disrespecting you even if you have already broken up.He breaks up with you and then starts texting someone he knows that you are close to. That's says, "I don't care about your feelings".

Either way, I'd lay low and try to break away from this guy. ,
Not texting, messaging through facebook. I'm trying my best to keep the no contact. So far, he hasn't made any attempts to contact me anyways, so its not too difficult.

I mean does he really not think that my friend won't tell me if he's messaging her?
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Old 20th December 2011, 8:33 AM   #11
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****He breaks up with you and then starts texting someone he knows that you are close to. That's says, "I don't care about your feelings". ****

that says, he likes baiting you for whatever reason. IF your ex really wanted a clean break from you, he would avoid everyone who knows you.

My guy has made a clean break from his ex. HE defriended her and the friend that they had in common on FB; I've noticed that whenever I spoke to a guy who knows them (like at meetup activities), my guy doesn't hang around.
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Old 22nd December 2011, 7:45 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by sunflowering View Post
she says she hope me and my ex can be friends again sometime..
Friends? But not lovers or spouses?

I think your friend was trying to seduce him and he just responded to her attempt. And she made sure she showed it to you. She is jealous of you. You must be attractive yourself.
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