Mixed Signals

[misunderstood20]

mixed signals

I've been with my girlfriend going on about seven years now and it seems as if we haven't really achieved anything. I cheated on her a while back and she found out about it and took me back. Ever since she has found out about me cheating things have been different. There was a situation where she told me that she had a chance to cheat on me as well to get revenge but she said she couldn't do it. I really don't believe her though. We had a long talk a while back and she said that she didn't want anyone else but me, but somehow I find that hard to believe. I've been battling a drug addiction for some years as well and she has stood by me even though I've put her through hell. I recently went to rehab (not to get rest) to actually quit. While I was there we would write letters back and forth telling each other how different things were going to be. Then when it came time for me to come home instead of listening to the people in rehab about going to a halfway house I moved back in with her instead. I didn't last two months out of there before relapsing. I would hear her in the middle of the night moaning in her sleep and talking to herself when we haven't had sex in a while. I can't focus on myself for worrying about her. I feel that she has cheated on me and she just wants to keep on playing games with me to make herself feel better for what i've done to her. Here lately she has had a sudden interest in losing weight and says it is for health reasons, I can understand if that really is the case. She is always happy when she leaves for work in the morning and comes home with nothing to say to me really. I'm trying to focus on myself and its hard being here with her but if things don't get any better I may just have to move on with my life and get clean and take some time to love and care for myself. I've done all I can for her financially and emotionally but it seems as if its not enough. I always catch her daydreaming when I'm trying to talk to her or she acts like she hears me. I just want to make things right with myself again and find someone else or let them find me. Even though I have a habit I'm still human and I deserve better treatment than this!! Does anyone have any suggestions?

I've been with my girlfriend going on about seven years now and it seems as if we haven't really achieved anything. I cheated on her a while back and she found out about it and took me back. Ever since she has found out about me cheating things have been different. There was a situation where she told me that she had a chance to cheat on me as well to get revenge but she said she couldn't do it. I really don't believe her though. We had a long talk a while back and she said that she didn't want anyone else but me, but somehow I find that hard to believe. I've been battling a drug addiction for some years as well and she has stood by me even though I've put her through hell. I recently went to rehab (not to get rest) to actually quit. While I was there we would write letters back and forth telling each other how different things were going to be. Then when it came time for me to come home instead of listening to the people in rehab about going to a halfway house I moved back in with her instead. I didn't last two months out of there before relapsing. I would hear her in the middle of the night moaning in her sleep and talking to herself when we haven't had sex in a while. I can't focus on myself for worrying about her. I feel that she has cheated on me and she just wants to keep on playing games with me to make herself feel better for what i've done to her. Here lately she has had a sudden interest in losing weight and says it is for health reasons, I can understand if that really is the case. She is always happy when she leaves for work in the morning and comes home with nothing to say to me really. I'm trying to focus on myself and its hard being here with her but if things don't get any better I may just have to move on with my life and get clean and take some time to love and care for myself. I've done all I can for her financially and emotionally but it seems as if its not enough. I always catch her daydreaming when I'm trying to talk to her or she acts like she hears me. I just want to make things right with myself again and find someone else or let them find me. Even though I have a habit I'm still human and I deserve better treatment than this!! Does anyone have any suggestions?

I've been with my girlfriend going on about seven years now and it seems as if we haven't really achieved anything. I cheated on her a while back and she found out about it and took me back. Ever since she has found out about me cheating things have been different. There was a situation where she told me that she had a chance to cheat on me as well to get revenge but she said she couldn't do it. I really don't believe her though. We had a long talk a while back and she said that she didn't want anyone else but me, but somehow I find that hard to believe. I've been battling a drug addiction for some years as well and she has stood by me even though I've put her through hell. I recently went to rehab (not to get rest) to actually quit. While I was there we would write letters back and forth telling each other how different things were going to be. Then when it came time for me to come home instead of listening to the people in rehab about going to a halfway house I moved back in with her instead. I didn't last two months out of there before relapsing. I would hear her in the middle of the night moaning in her sleep and talking to herself when we haven't had sex in a while. I can't focus on myself for worrying about her. I feel that she has cheated on me and she just wants to keep on playing games with me to make herself feel better for what i've done to her. Here lately she has had a sudden interest in losing weight and says it is for health reasons, I can understand if that really is the case. She is always happy when she leaves for work in the morning and comes home with nothing to say to me really. I'm trying to focus on myself and its hard being here with her but if things don't get any better I may just have to move on with my life and get clean and take some time to love and care for myself. I've done all I can for her financially and emotionally but it seems as if its not enough. I always catch her daydreaming when I'm trying to talk to her or she acts like she hears me. I just want to make things right with myself again and find someone else or let them find me. Even though I have a habit I'm still human and I deserve better treatment than this!! Does anyone have any suggestions?