Jump to content

I Cheated on my boyfriend of 3 years


Recommended Posts

We've been together for 3 years now. I cheated on him in january with a navy guy that i met from a friend on facebook... After cheating on him i felt so bad and i wanted to tell him but i could never bring myself to tell him because of fear of losing him... He's a very sensitive guy. He found out yesterday that i cheated on him through a note that i wrote to a friend and came to my work and confronted me and asked me if i cheated. I denied then i went outside to talk to him and i confessed that i did cheat and that i was sorry. He gave me back his promise ring and told me it was over... I went home and we talked and he told me that he could never see me flying back to michigan to my family and him nvever seeing me again... He went through his computer went on facebook found the guy i cheated on him with and read all the old posts were wrote to eachother. This made him very heart broken... We slept in diffrent beds last night and barley talked... This morning he told me that he still loves me but i broke his heart and i lost his trust. It was going to take a long time to gain his trust back... Were suppose to be moving into a townhouse together next week.... I don't know what to do or what to say or how to act around him... I dont know if he needs space or if i should be talking to him... I just dont want to lose him and i really want what we had back...

Link to post
Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside
He found a note you had written? A physical note?

 

*cough*

 

Anyway, there is really nothing you can do. Whether he decides to stay with you is his decision entirely. If he wants to talk, talk to him, otherwise just keep quite about it and let him do what he has to do to get through this situation. Face it, you effed up, got caught, and now you have to face the consequences.

 

BTW why did you cheat on him?

Edited by OldOnTheInside
Link to post
Share on other sites
jnj express

Now all of a sudden you want him---meanwhile what did you want while YOU had sex back in Jan.----you certainly didn't want your BF, then---did you????---otherwise you would have never gone out with a stranger

 

As the last poster said---WHY did you find it necessary to go out with this other guy, and why did you need to have sex with this other guy

 

You may think you have been doing nothing wrong since Jan.,---but everyday you have come home looked your BF., in the eyes and told him everything was fine---you have been cheating on him, by lying to him via OMMISSION

 

You need to find out for yourself---WHY you were so willing to 1. meet/go out with this other guy---2. HAVE SEX WITH THIS OTHER GUY----those in love with their partners do not do things like that

Link to post
Share on other sites
Professor X
I just dont want to lose him and i really want what we had back...

 

You do want to lose him and you don't want what you used to have.

 

The fact you went to shag someone else proves it.

 

P.S. your BF will NEVER forget, ever.

Link to post
Share on other sites

yep, you didn't give a rats azz earlier in the year when you CHEATED on him. all you can do is sit back and hang on, cause are the chips are on his side on whether to forgive your cheating butt. notice i said forgive, cause he will never forget how you so easly broke his trust.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Darren Taylor

I agree with the posters above. You don't deserve any sympathy. You made a conscious decision to cheat with a man that was not your boyfriend, you put your boyfriend's health at risk, and you betrayed him in the worst way. You don't want to lose him? No, you don't want to lose your safety net.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire
We've been together for 3 years now. I cheated on him in january with a navy guy that i met from a friend on facebook...

 

.. I just dont want to lose him and i really want what we had back...

 

If you love him so much, why did you cheat?

 

You should pay him money for his suffering and give him several states worth of space.

Link to post
Share on other sites
John Michael Kane
BTW why did you cheat on him?

 

Because she wanted to and only cared for herself. No other explanation.

Link to post
Share on other sites

So, how did you cheat on him? Because having a girlfriend cheat on you with a guy in the navy has got to be really painful just for the ick factor of the STI’s those guys carry around from port to port.

 

I can decide which part is worse that you met some random dude through facebook or that he was in the Navy. (Please don’t tell me this guy works on a submarine)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Now all you can do is just cross your fingers and hope that he doesn't have enough strength to stick to his sense of morals and has a secret cuckolding fantasy you didn't previously know about.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Now all you can do is just cross your fingers and hope that he doesn't have enough strength to stick to his sense of morals and has a secret cuckolding fantasy you didn't previously know about.

 

“Secret cuckolding fantasy.” Thank you for the laughs.

Link to post
Share on other sites
samsungxoxo

Solution: Get a new BF and start from zero...

 

I don't think it'll work out because both of you will be left with the burden. He will resent you for cheating on him and you won't tolerate his anger for too long. You might get impatient and so it's a lost situation.

 

There are tons of fishes in the sea so he can't be the only one.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

We have talked it out and i believe that him finding that note was a wake up call to myself. What was i thinking cheating on the one i love so much. I know know what it feels like to break the heart of the one i love so much. I know many of you have replied if i loved him i wouldnt have cheated. We all make mistakes and that was my huge mistake. I have learned from mine the hard way but i now know that i will Never cheat again. Going through this pain of watching him cry bc of what i have done and all the things that we used to have that i ahve lost bc of what i have done... I love him with all my heart and i will wait for him to heal... He has forgiven me and taken his ring back... All i can do know is be there for him and show him how much i love him and how WRONG i truly was.

Link to post
Share on other sites
John Michael Kane
Solution: Get a new BF and start from zero...

 

I don't think it'll work out because both of you will be left with the burden. He will resent you for cheating on him and you won't tolerate his anger for too long. You might get impatient and so it's a lost situation.

 

There are tons of fishes in the sea so he can't be the only one.

 

How about her not having a BF for another few years until she learns to mature, which is highly unlikely for cheaters.:rolleyes: He's the one with the options, not her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
John Michael Kane
We have talked it out and i believe that him finding that note was a wake up call to myself. What was i thinking cheating on the one i love so much. I know know what it feels like to break the heart of the one i love so much. I know many of you have replied if i loved him i wouldnt have cheated. We all make mistakes and that was my huge mistake. I have learned from mine the hard way but i now know that i will Never cheat again. Going through this pain of watching him cry bc of what i have done and all the things that we used to have that i ahve lost bc of what i have done... I love him with all my heart and i will wait for him to heal... He has forgiven me and taken his ring back... All i can do know is be there for him and show him how much i love him and how WRONG i truly was.

 

Eventually you'll get selfishly impatient with his natural mood swings in regards to your callous behavior. Just because he took his ring back doesn't mean it's a guarantee he'll stick with you. He's in shock right now and he hasn't reached his full anger yet. What you did was far from a mistake lady, and that's something you need to realize. You only thought your actions were hurtful after seeing him cry? All I gotta say is wow and good luck because you'll seriously need it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Chi townD

I agree with kane. You haven't seen anything yet.

 

He's going to go on something called the roller coaster of emotions. He'll be happy one minute, then something will trigger him off and he'll be in a triade the next. He'll be indifferent then he'll be sad and heart broken the next. He'll tell you he loves you and will work through this, then he'll say he can't do it anymore. He won't believe that you actually love him, not for a long time.This is going to happen and you stand a very good chance of losing him regardless of any promise he tells you. And you know what? You have no one to blame but yourself.

 

Sorry to be so blunt.

Link to post
Share on other sites
drifter777
We have talked it out and i believe that him finding that note was a wake up call to myself. What was i thinking cheating on the one i love so much. I know know what it feels like to break the heart of the one i love so much. I know many of you have replied if i loved him i wouldnt have cheated. We all make mistakes and that was my huge mistake. I have learned from mine the hard way but i now know that i will Never cheat again. Going through this pain of watching him cry bc of what i have done and all the things that we used to have that i ahve lost bc of what i have done... I love him with all my heart and i will wait for him to heal... He has forgiven me and taken his ring back... All i can do know is be there for him and show him how much i love him and how WRONG i truly was.

 

Well, that was quick. Congratulations! Let's see what happens next. Wait until the mental images he has of you and the other guy having sex don't go away like he thinks they will. Wait until he gets over the shock of d-day and realizes his girlfriend is a slut. Finally, wait until you do it again (because I bet it wasn't the first time and won't be the last).

 

Since you two are not married and you have not mentioned any kids it is absolutely insane that you try to work though something as horrible as infidelity. Life is too short for this shi* so go your separate ways and hope you never are in a position where you have to deal with something this hard.

Link to post
Share on other sites
allie_lgh
We have talked it out and i believe that him finding that note was a wake up call to myself. What was i thinking cheating on the one i love so much. I know know what it feels like to break the heart of the one i love so much. I know many of you have replied if i loved him i wouldnt have cheated. We all make mistakes and that was my huge mistake. I have learned from mine the hard way but i now know that i will Never cheat again. Going through this pain of watching him cry bc of what i have done and all the things that we used to have that i ahve lost bc of what i have done... I love him with all my heart and i will wait for him to heal... He has forgiven me and taken his ring back... All i can do know is be there for him and show him how much i love him and how WRONG i truly was.

 

 

I want to bash you, but I wont. You're right, everyone makes mistakes. Sadly your mistake included not just harming but permanently damaging someone who didn't deserve such pain. Who knows if it'll last. Who knows what the future holds. I don't think he'll ever be able to fully forgive you because you broke his trust. Beware other issues this may bring up for you two. Jealousy and posessiveness for starters. Just realize that who you are now, awakening or not, may not be worthy of someone so kind and forgiving. If that's true-and by true I mean completely honest even if you don't want to admit it- then you should end it and give yourself time to grow. You owe him that much.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Memphis Raines
We've been together for 3 years now. I cheated on him in january with a navy guy that i met from a friend on facebook... After cheating on him i felt so bad and i wanted to tell him but i could never bring myself to tell him because of fear of losing him

 

if you don't respect him enough to cheat on him, what do you care if you lose him? If he isn't in the picture, you can do whoever you want without guilt then.

 

 

 

He found out yesterday that i cheated on him through a note that i wrote to a friend and came to my work and confronted me and asked me if i cheated. I denied then i went outside to talk to him and i confessed that i did cheat and that i was sorry.

 

you didn't confess. he found out. if he didn't find out you wouldn't have kept your mouth shut.

 

 

I just dont want to lose him and i really want what we had back...

 

 

you'll never get what you had back. because for one, what HE had was a girl he thought wouldn't betray him and cheat. NOW if he keeps you, he will be keeping you with the knowledge that you are now a cheater.

Link to post
Share on other sites
samsungxoxo
How about her not having a BF for another few years until she learns to mature, which is highly unlikely for cheaters.:rolleyes: He's the one with the options, not her.
I know but I'm trying to help her. I always try to focus on who is the narrator of the thread than the person in their story.

 

She did asked for help and what to do, not harsh remarks. Not wise to further make a person feel worst than what they're feeling at the present time.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol
All i can do know is be there for him and show him how much i love him and how WRONG i truly was.

 

Thats not all you can do. You had specific reasons why you felt emotionally disconnected from your bf to cheat on him. So you need to let him know what those reasons were that caused that disconnect to make you go so far as to start a relationship with another guy and not care about hiding it from your bf for so long. You resented him for some reason. Something he did, made you mad, left you lonely, not romantic, whatever it was, you need to eventually let him know that you werent getting something you needed from him. Of course now you wont dcheat on him again just because of guilt, but you will still have the emotuional void unless you face the root of the problem.

 

So what was it that you werent getting from him that made you cheat?

Link to post
Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside

You still haven't answered this question OP.

 

Why did you cheat on him?

 

It is important that you know this.

Link to post
Share on other sites
John Michael Kane
I know but I'm trying to help her. I always try to focus on who is the narrator of the thread than the person in their story.

 

But her betrayed boyfriend is the most viable piece of this story, regardless of the narrator.

 

She did asked for help and what to do, not harsh remarks. Not wise to further make a person feel worst than what they're feeling at the present time.

 

No one is giving her "harsh remarks." We're not here to validate someone's deceitful, mentally disturbing behavior on an innocent person. If anything she's only hurting herself and that man she's with.

Link to post
Share on other sites
samsungxoxo
But her betrayed boyfriend is the most viable piece of this story, regardless of the narrator.
True but let's not forget this infidelity section is for both the cheatee and cheaters. They all have the right to seek for help. As much as I would want to say ''that relationship the OP now has with her boyfriend won't work'', there is always hope.... that's the last thing you can lose. You can lose everything but hope.

No one is giving her "harsh remarks." We're not here to validate someone's deceitful, mentally disturbing behavior on an innocent person. If anything she's only hurting herself and that man she's with.
I don't know... sometimes it leads to name-callings or sarcasm such as ''There's nothing you can do, thanks to you he won't ever recover again''...

There are other ways of disagreeing or saying ''there's no hope'' without being too blunt/harsh.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...