LesleyF Posted September 10, 2003 Share Posted September 10, 2003 I have been dating a really great guy for the past 2 years. I really love him a lot and he is a great guy. But the past few months he just hasn't been able to satisfy me - sexually. But I have remained with him because of the love. I am not going to go into detail, but I met another man and we ended up having sex one night. It was the most amazing sex I have ever had. Since then we have been having sex regularly - at least once every 2 or 3 days. My boyfriend has no idea. Me and this other man never talk except when he calls me for a booty call. He knows I have a boyfriend and we have agreed to have only a physical relationship and not an emotional one. But lately I find myself dreaming that he would ask me on a real date, and I am becoming more and more unattracted to my current BF. I love him, but I am infatuated with this other man. I would love to start a relationship with him, but I don't know if he feels that way too. I would hate to end it with my love of 2 years just to end up being crushed by the other man. I don't want to hurt my BF, but he just can't satisfy me anymore. And I am becoming attached to this other guy, but I don't know how he feels. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!!! Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted September 10, 2003 Share Posted September 10, 2003 The reason the sex is so great with this other guy is because it's risky, it's taboo and it's new. I promise you if he was suddenly yours to see whenever you wanted for however long you wanted, the new would wear off. If you REALLY love your boyfriend you'll end it and devote your time to making that relationship work. If you're convinced that your boyfriend can no longer satisfy you sexually, then you need to tell him, break up and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
bryanp Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 I think you letter is very sad. You still call your boyfriend your love yet you are screwing another man every couple of days but you do not wish to hurt your boyfriend? How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing to you what you are doing to him? If you truly love your boyfriend then tell him what you have been doing so he can decide if he wishes to be with someone else who does not disrespect, humiliates and puts his health at risk having sex with another man and still has the nerve to call him your boyfriend. You are a real piece of work. Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 I am constantly amazed when I hear of people like you , not married, but with a boyfriend or girlfriend, who cheat. You're not married to this guy for crying out loud. Why cheat, you're virtually as free as a bird? Break it off, walk away, and screw the other guy all you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 You ask what you're going to do - you ask for help. In what area exactly? How to have your cake and eat it? You want help to make a man that has only used you for sex, who can have no respect for you as anything but a liar and a cheat, love you? Your actions have already shown him that you neither respect yourself or those you claim to love why should he want to take you on a date?! People usually go on dates to get to know each others mind and personality - to see if they're suited emotionally intellectually, spiritually and yes, eventually sexually - people aren't stupid, if you've shown such poor judgement in the past what would motivate this man to date you? As for your boyfriend, maybe he's had some unfortunate accident, maybe he's suffering from depression and has lost interest in sex, maybe he has homosexual tendancies, I don't know, but one thing I do know is that he would probably be most unhappy with your behaviour and would be the first to point out that love is above all honest and kind. You might like to reevaluate your definition of 'love' for the furture, as for now, be kind and let your boyfriend go - tell your 'lover' you're free and if he wants to date you after that, I'll eat my cheesy old thermals... Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 Clancy and these other writers are geniuses.... Clancy has hit the nail on the head! Leslie... you got some great advice today! You know what this would cost in New York? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 I don't get why, when people have a problem, they don't try to solve the problem. You have trouble with your sex life - look for solutions. Talk. Get videos. See physicians. Go to a counsellor. Obviously you do not love this guy because if you did, he'd be worth fighting for. So if you don't love him, and you can't be bothered to seek a solution to your problem, leave him. And expect to do the same in every subsequent relationship unless you start working on problems instead of running from them. Link to post Share on other sites
loz Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 i kinda kno how u feelin i love my bf so much n i dont wana lose him but the sex just isnt how it waz. last nite i waz v drunk n slept wiv another guy who i mt in a club. i doubt ill c him again tho. ppl say that we must b rite bitches 2 do sumit like this but i didnt mean nuffin 2 me waz just sex i feel so bad Link to post Share on other sites
LadyX Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 I get what you're saying....hang on to the boyfriend because the lover may not want a relationship. Have you ever heard of "communication"? If you sex life with you boyfriend has gone downhill, why haven't you discussed it with him? All I have to say about all you cheaters out there is "KARMA" Or in terms you may understand....payback is a bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Way to go! Don't listen to anyone else, keep the boyfriend and the lover. If your lover is ready to make the commitment, go for it. Otherwise don't tell your bf and just keep on cheating! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Oh no no no. You are only screwing this other guy a couple of nights a week, and how often with your boyfriend? You probably have 2 or 3 nights left open and can go out and find some more people to have sex with. More variety right! I think you should also tell your boyfriend so that he can screw others too and get some more experience -- but, maybe he's already doing that? I sure hope so. Link to post Share on other sites
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