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Torn between two women...help!


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Heres hoping anyone can help me-

 

Its sort of complicated, but basically me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months and i thought i really loved her.

For the first three months things were great between us, we had our ups and downs, mainly because we both know some of the same people and i asked if she had 'been' with a couple of them and at the time she denied it (a month into out relationship) but i found out from the other people that she had been with them for one night stands.

 

It didnt bother me about the one night stands because it was before us, it was just the fact she looked me in the eye plenty of times and lied to me about both times when i asked her to be truthful. She only admitted it when i found out for myself.

Because of all that i became very distrustful of her and i found it hard to trust her to go out on her own. Until recently we had both been without jobs for 2 months so we spent an awful lot of time together.

 

A month ago just after i found out about one of the lies i was hurt she could of lied for so long and i went out and kissed another girl. I felt so guilty i told her about it and she forgave me.

A week later she was out with her friends one night and so was i with my own friends and i saw her chatting with this guy and dancing with him and holding him. Maybe i was overprotective but i pulled them apart and told her to stop, she did and said she wasn't doing anything wrong and never would while we were together and that he was just a friend she had met that night.

 

Since then though i have no trust in her at all and also i know that she went to meet another man one night for a drink last week and lied to me about it, till i found out. She told me it was a man who had been texting her who she didn't know, and she went to meet him to tell him to leave her alone and i can't find out if this is true or not, i just have to trust her.

 

But there isn't much trust left between us after all this and I have recently met one of her friends, who i like a lot and she has said she likes me and I think I could trust her more.

 

My girlfriend has said this weekend that she wants to know if i want to be with her or not and make a fresh start, putting the past behind us and no more lying, or whether we should split up!

 

Im finding it so hard to decide,we have so much history and so many good times, I don't know if i could leave her and then be with someone else but if i stay with her i don't know if i could trust her to be faithful and not lie to me any more.

 

Any advice would be so,so appreciated..

 

Many thanks,

 

Steve

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I agree with your "girlfriend" that the two of you ought to start fresh....with other people.

 

The two of you have carried on very immaturely, childishly. Going out and kissing some woman in retaliation for her lying is pretty lame.

 

You need to find a woman you can trust, one who is stable and more closely represents the kind of person you can be proud to have a long term relationship with. Just because you have a history with somebody and a lot of investment of time by NO means indicates you need to waste even more time if they're not the right person. I see nothing in your post which indicates any reason this lady might change her ways.

 

I do hope you will entertain acting more maturely in future relationships. If you get with somebody and they start jerking you around, get away from them rather than play these childish games. Time is precious and we may not have much more of it. We live in a new age!

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