ehtgal Posted March 4, 2003 Share Posted March 4, 2003 My boyfriend of four years has a rather healthy porn collection. As i know that most guys do. He uses the porn when I am not around to pleasure himself. It includes video and magazines. He assures me that this is merely a visual stimulus and that he doesn't do it because he really wishes he was with those women or any of that. But if it is a visual stimulus, then doesn't that mean that there is something that he sees that he wants? We have a great sex life, but i can't help but wonder if he fantasizes about these women, or even if he wants them in some way. I know its normal....but it is really hard to understand the reasoning behind it. Any ideas on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 4, 2003 Share Posted March 4, 2003 YOU ASK: "then doesn't that mean that there is something that he sees that he wants?" Well, one would think that what he sees in the pictures are vaginas and that's what he wants. He masturbates in the absense of a real one being readily available to him (you not being around). Unlike many women, most men are more visually stimulated sexually and can respond quickly to pictures or videos of nude women...even if they aren't doing much except posing. It's rather odd that your boyfriend doesn't keep this practice to himself...it seems pretty personal. It also seems like he could have the self discipline to control his urges until you were around. I can certainly understand why this would bother you. I promise you, however, that while he may use this material to stimulate himself sexually...that's all there is to it. The chances of him meeting up with a Playboy centerfold or any of the other naked ladies he has pictures of are slim to none. Sure men can fantasize about being with some strange voluptuous babe...and lots of men, even married me, do. As long as you have a boyfriend who enjoys this kind of material, you'll just have to live with that fact. I don't see it as a major problem unless it's a major problem for you. If at some point he gets more satisfaction having his sexual activity with the porn than with you....then you'll have a very major problem to deal with. Again, I can see why this gets to you. I'd talk to him and see if somehow he can control his urges. I promise you, one day in his life it'll take lots more than pictures and viagara to get him interested in sex. I suppose you ought to be happy your sex life is great now and enjoy these days as long as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
ehtgal Posted March 4, 2003 Share Posted March 4, 2003 Thanks tony- I wanted to hear a male opinion on this. I meant that is it a turn because the bodies and the action that he sees what he wants to have for himself. Although he says that he finds me attractive, I am far from being a porn star in looks or in actions. Is it a turn on because he wants that? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 4, 2003 Share Posted March 4, 2003 Porn is different things to different people. You boyfriend is probably only using these pictures to arouse himself when you aren't around. This seems like a very important matter to you that you need to resolve. My advice is that you sit down with him and find out exactly what these pictures represent to him. It's real hard for strangers on the Internet to know what's on his mind. As for my ownself, pictures of naked women have never been more than that. The woman I would give my life to get in the sack with...I've never seen naked pictures of her. She's an actress...named Salma Hayek. Frankly, I wouldn't mind seeing pictures of her naked absent the ability to see her in any other form. Ask your boyfriend to be on the lookout for me. I'd pay dearly for her phone number (lol...no seriously). Naked pictures of nameless women are just generic pictures that can arouse men. I hope you find out exactly what they mean to your guy...he is the only person in the world who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
conflykt Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 hey tony, speakin of salma hayak check out the movie desperado, she has a nude scene in it . it also stars antonio banderias . besides the nude scene its a really good flick enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 "I am far from being a porn star in looks or in actions." Don't even sweat it. I'd much rather have a girl who's a 5 right in front of me than a 10 who's on video. Porn is nice when you're lonely, but it can never compete with the real thing. Besides, actual physical looks are only part of what makes someone attractive. How they carry themselves and their sense of self-confidence is what makes or breaks attractiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonflys Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 'Sure men can fantasize about being with some strange voluptuous babe...and lots of men, even married me, do.' Freudian slip? Oliver Link to post Share on other sites
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