postalservice Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 and a quarter years, and we recently moved in together (3 months ago). We get along well, but I work full time 9-5 hours, and he works nights in a pub, so it can be hard for us to find the time to see each other, bar passing each other last thing at night or first thing in the morning. Yesterday morning it was my day off and I woke up early, so I decided to play a game on his mobile, only when I picked up the phone his messages were open and I saw some messages from a girl. I was confused because the girl had the same name of his ex girlfriend, which doesn't have a common spelling, and so, curiosity getting the better of me, i decided to look. It turns out he invited her out for drinks after he finished in the pub at 12, but she told him she had no money, so invited him to her place. Surprised to see that he agreed to this, he then went on to tell her that he was sorry if he didn't look presentable when he arrived. He has a lot of female friends, and I know he wouldn't care less about that if it were any of them. The fact that he drove to her house at 1 in the morning and never got back til after 3 pissed me off no end. He told me it was 1.30am he got home, when I know now for a fact it wasn't. I don't think that they kissed or anything, but the fact that: a) he lied b) he was so keen to see her that he drove to her at 1am c) he knows that I don't like her, and has assured me he "hates" her makes me wonder what the hell he's playing at. Since I saw the message, I've been at my parent's house, and sister's house, and I don't know how to go about talking to him about it. Sorry this is a long post, but there were also problems at the weekend regarding our flatmate, where my boyfriend went on a power trip at one of our parties. Now everyone is annoyed at him for one reason or another. He's not normally like this at all, and I'm so confused and hurt and angry. I know that when I tell him I know about his ex, he'll get angry at me for looking at his messages, even though it was an accident that I saw them in the first place. Advice? Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 I smell trouble...wether he cheated or not...we may never know but the fact that he willingly went to her place and stayed there for a while and lied to you about it? he betrayed your trust...he has no business with her anymore so why would he be there? you are going to have to confront him about it in a calm manner to get to the bottom of this...and be ready to move on... Link to post Share on other sites
vivrantflo Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Your boyfriend is sneaky, and is shopping around for other opportunities. It turns out he invited her out for drinks after he finished in the pub at 12, but she told him she had no money, so invited him to her place. If this guy is committed to you, and respects you.. there's no reason as to why he should be asking another female out for drinks AFTER he gets off work. And what do you think this chick is looking for, inviting a dude over to her place after 12am? These are booty call hours my dear. The fact that he drove to her house at 1 in the morning and never got back til after 3 pissed me off no end. He told me it was 1.30am he got home, when I know now for a fact it wasn't. I don't think that they kissed or anything, but the fact that: a) he lied b) he was so keen to see her that he drove to her at 1am c) he knows that I don't like her, and has assured me he "hates" her Ok, seriously.. what usually happens when a man and a woman leave a bar together, go back to one of their places together, and depart at 3am, after 2 hours of "hanging out"? The fact that he lied about how long he was gone, proves that he's hiding something. If Im invited by a woman to her house at 1am after the bar, im thinking that im getting lucky. And if I proceed to spend two hours at her place, chances are something has happend. I'm glad that he "assured" you that he hates her. That's awesome... cause.. of course, he's going to ask a chick out for drinks that he hates. He'll even go to her house after work, cause having drinks with someone you hate, at their place, after work, when you're supposedly wanting to go home, makes a lot of sense. He's going to dress well, and spend 2 hours at her place till 3am, cause he hates her so much, and then lie to you about the entire thing. This guy has disrespected you, he's a liar, and all signs point to him cheating, or at least wanting to. Get rid of him. Link to post Share on other sites
alexlakeman Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 He's got a booty call ... Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I think you need to confront the lie he told. We can't say for certain that he cheated, but hanging out with your ex from one to three in the morning after a bar, and hiding it from you is pretty shady. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I don't think that they kissed or anything Please don't be naive. A guy doesn't just go to a woman's home at 1am with the intentions of just 'hanging out.' I wouldn't trust him if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Yesterday morning it was my day off and I woke up early, so I decided to play a game on his mobile, only when I picked up the phone his messages were open and I saw some messages from a girl. lol. Come on, we're not stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I'd get yourself out of this situation as soon as possible. It's completely naive to think nothing happened between them. Think of all the time's he's come home late when you haven't checked his phone.... I think you already know what you should do. Link to post Share on other sites
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