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what does it mean when a girl touches you?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

 
 
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Old 31st July 2009, 4:08 AM   #1
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Question what does it mean when a girl touches you?

Hello All,

New to this forum thing and wanted to see if I could get some feed back from the folks out there.

I am in a committed relationship. My better half has a close friend (mind you I do find the friend attractive) who has been in and out of our lives over the course of our relationship. Lately she has been around and I'm a bit confused.

I suppose I need to fess up and give you the history so you understand the absences of her in our lives. I had made the mistake of asking her out to lunch early in the relationship. This caused a lot of confusion and her hiatus the first time. A few years later a mutual friend gets married and we are in contact again. She was having some relationship issues and we were there for her. I (stupid me) offer to console her which again leads her (the friend) to be uncomfortable and again she's gone. This happens several times over which brings us to today.

I can't quite read her and am having strong feeling for her which is what is bringing me here. Lately when we are alone (my better half doing something in another room) I notice her touching me (very briefly) or accidentally bumping into me. Tonight we went out all together and she tickled me in front of my better half which of course did not make my better half feel very good.

I don't mind her touching me, actually if felt soo good, but I'm so confused. The frequency of touch and the way she touches me, just makes me want to touch her back. But I can't read her. Any Ideas what I should think?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 31st July 2009, 4:15 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by bluebayoue View Post
Hello All,

New to this forum thing and wanted to see if I could get some feed back from the folks out there.

I am in a committed relationship. My better half has a close friend (mind you I do find the friend attractive) who has been in and out of our lives over the course of our relationship. Lately she has been around and I'm a bit confused.

I suppose I need to fess up and give you the history so you understand the absences of her in our lives. I had made the mistake of asking her out to lunch early in the relationship. This caused a lot of confusion and her hiatus the first time. A few years later a mutual friend gets married and we are in contact again. She was having some relationship issues and we were there for her. I (stupid me) offer to console her which again leads her (the friend) to be uncomfortable and again she's gone. This happens several times over which brings us to today.

I can't quite read her and am having strong feeling for her which is what is bringing me here. Lately when we are alone (my better half doing something in another room) I notice her touching me (very briefly) or accidentally bumping into me. Tonight we went out all together and she tickled me in front of my better half which of course did not make my better half feel very good.

I don't mind her touching me, actually if felt soo good, but I'm so confused. The frequency of touch and the way she touches me, just makes me want to touch her back. But I can't read her. Any Ideas what I should think?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

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Old 31st July 2009, 10:02 AM   #3
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She could be flirting for fun. Honestly though if you value your relationship, I would not reciprocate back to the friend. But if you don't value the relationship and want to take a risk by pursuing this girl I suggest breaking up first.
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Old 31st July 2009, 10:05 AM   #4
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It could mean anything or nothing. I've known women who were naturally very "touchy"; it was the way they were geared, and they didn't particularly mean anything by it. But they not infrequently encountered difficulties when the touching was mistaken for interest.
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Old 31st July 2009, 10:11 AM   #5
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If I'm touching a guy, it means I'm interested in them.
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Old 31st July 2009, 10:39 AM   #6
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Touch her to see her reaction. And from there, you can gain some answers that you're waiting to know.
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Old 31st July 2009, 11:11 AM   #7
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It means you're 'safe' to her. I've had enough women touch me and experienced the aftermath to know this. Women like pinching tricycle boy's cheeks rather than riding his joystick. Acceptance. It is funny to watch though. Especially when it's in front of their SO's.

Simply put, a woman in a relationship can tease another man sexually to exactly the point where she wants to and then shut him down. She can do that because she is the gatekeeper of intimacy. She can do that because she's getting banged by her SO and this is just fun for her. She can do it because she has mental and/or emotional issues. Need I go on?
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Old 31st July 2009, 5:19 PM   #8
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Question Thanks

I appreciate all the insight. What if I do take lovers69 advise, how can I determine if she is just a physical person or if there is something there?

I can recognize clues when someone has some interest but with her, I get nothing. I catch her stealing glances but when I try to make eye contact, she turns away. I am sooo confused and puzzled right now.

She has always stolen glances at me, even before she got to know me as a result of my better half. I've noticed it, like when we are driving and she is in the back seat, I can see her eyes looking at me, as soon as I make eye contact she turns away. But when we talk her eyes focus on me.

I consider myself an enigmatic person but she's got me beat. Let's say for arguments sake that she is just a "physical person" why all of a sudden does it come out? The glances thing has always occurred, but the touching is new.

Please help.
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Old 31st July 2009, 6:00 PM   #9
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I've had this happen twice in the last two years; repeated and escalating inappropriate contact from people with whom I've had long relationships and no such prior contact. IMO, both times it's being done to send a message to their spouses, however inappropriately, that they're interested in and attracted to and can attract someone else. Bear in mind these are women in their 40's and 50's who have been married 20+ years.

IMO, do not spend your valuable time trying to figure out the 'signals'. They're irrelevant. A quick and easy way to end this is to when she's playing the game, take her in your arms and give her a passionate kiss. I guarantee you that she won't bother you again. Game over. Thanks for playing
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Old 31st July 2009, 6:25 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebayoue View Post
I appreciate all the insight. What if I do take lovers69 advise, how can I determine if she is just a physical person or if there is something there?

I can recognize clues when someone has some interest but with her, I get nothing. I catch her stealing glances but when I try to make eye contact, she turns away. I am sooo confused and puzzled right now.

She has always stolen glances at me, even before she got to know me as a result of my better half. I've noticed it, like when we are driving and she is in the back seat, I can see her eyes looking at me, as soon as I make eye contact she turns away. But when we talk her eyes focus on me.

I consider myself an enigmatic person but she's got me beat. Let's say for arguments sake that she is just a "physical person" why all of a sudden does it come out? The glances thing has always occurred, but the touching is new.

Please help.
I think you're over analyzing the situation and if you value your current relationship, stop whatever game it is that you're trying to play. Besides, you seem like an educated person, use your head before you seriously hurt someone.
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Old 31st July 2009, 8:04 PM   #11
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If she truly is your "better half". then you need to stop thinking about her good friend in a sexual manner. If your GF leaves the room to go into the kitchen, then go with her. If your GF goes to make a beer run, then ride with her. If your GF sits in the chair, leaving the couch for you and her friend, then go sit on the floor at GF's feet.
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Old 31st July 2009, 8:24 PM   #12
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If she truly is your "better half". then you need to stop thinking about her good friend in a sexual manner. If your GF leaves the room to go into the kitchen, then go with her. If your GF goes to make a beer run, then ride with her. If your GF sits in the chair, leaving the couch for you and her friend, then go sit on the floor at GF's feet.
AGREED! It's pretty obvious that you're interested in her and you're not really worried about how this would make your GF feel if she found out. How do you think it would make you feel if she was wanting physical contact with one of your guy friends you brought over every time you left the room!? Not good! You're calling her your better half... I can see why she is your better half. Your girlfriend probably has a decent amount of trust in you to have this friend over and around you at your place. Do you think it would be wise to deceive this trust?
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Old 31st July 2009, 9:27 PM   #13
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If she truly is your "better half". then you need to stop thinking about her good friend in a sexual manner. If your GF leaves the room to go into the kitchen, then go with her. If your GF goes to make a beer run, then ride with her. If your GF sits in the chair, leaving the couch for you and her friend, then go sit on the floor at GF's feet.
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Originally Posted by Le Rendezvous View Post
AGREED! It's pretty obvious that you're interested in her and you're not really worried about how this would make your GF feel if she found out. How do you think it would make you feel if she was wanting physical contact with one of your guy friends you brought over every time you left the room!? Not good! You're calling her your better half... I can see why she is your better half. Your girlfriend probably has a decent amount of trust in you to have this friend over and around you at your place. Do you think it would be wise to deceive this trust?
Agreed 100%.
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Old 1st August 2009, 12:06 AM   #14
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The other girl is attracted and flirting with you.

The reason why she touches you but doesn't want to make eye contact is this. Just casually touching is one of those things that can be excused as just innocent and having no meaning. She make also be attracted and touching you without even knowing she's doing it.

But if she's looking at you and you make mutual prolonged eye contact then there's meaning in that.

She might want to flirt but doesn't want to be obvious or maybe she's just shy.

Either way, what do you want? You want this girl? Do you love your current girlfriend? Are you going to cheat, or break up with your GF and start something with this new girl?

You need to make a choice.
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Old 1st August 2009, 5:22 PM   #15
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you are so on the verge of cheating its not even funny. but, if you really think that your other half, which would be refered to as your soul mate, is REALLY your other half, you wouldnt be acting this way. yeah, its ok to feel sexual feelings toward other people, and it sucks when it happens to be your gf/bf friend. but, since you saw your girl get upset when she tickled you, did it upset you that she got upset? if it didn't, you dont really care for her.
im the kind of girl that acts giddy around guys who arnt my boyfriend, and my boyfriend is right there. but im prob diff than you, i like it when they get upset and dont care. i think you do care and dont want to hurt her, so stop flirting with her friend. it will just lead to trouble and her friend should know better than to disrespect you gf like that.
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