sarah Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 of my female best friend! I have been with my guy for about 5 years now and during this time we have had several arguments about my best friend. Well last night was the ripper. We were screaming at each other and I told him to leave. Basically he doesnt like her, doesnt want me to see her, doesnt trust her (or me when I am with her). What do I do? I love my bf and I love my best friend too. Link to post Share on other sites
Patty Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 love is: being together sharing 50/50 enjoying each others company communicating with each other working problems out together respecting each others feelings love isnt: yelling at each other to explain things verbally attacking or physically attacking each other controlling each others moves being jealous about every move you make screaming at each other for everything The best thing about being in love with someone is communication. Hope this helps. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 Does he have any good reasons to act like that? I mean I know you love her, but is she ... slutty or anything? Perhaps he feels like you get the wrong type of attention when you're with her? -yes Link to post Share on other sites
sarah Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 Yes - she is very attractive and she ALWAYS has male attention, he doesnt trust her or me (I dont know why, as I have never cheated on him). I love him heaps, but I just cant keep going on like this. He wont listen to reason, and I cant convince him otherwise ! Link to post Share on other sites
sarah Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 Okay.... so I kicked him out of my house when he started yelling at me, he had had a few drinks, and on his way home he was picked up for Drink driving. Now he is blaming it on me!!!! If he hadnt started yelling at me in the first place.......... WANKER !!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 "Drink Driving" huh... You kicked someone that was drunk out of your house. You should not of done that, even though the person yelled. Atleast try to calm them down. Don't let the person leave and drive drunk!!! He could have killed some little kid. Both of you are at fault. Link to post Share on other sites
lostone Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 Unless she stuck a gun in his face and forced him to drive would it be her fault: it's his fault. He has to take responsibility. No one takes responsibility for themselves anymore. No wonder this world and the people living on it are so lost. And it's drunk driving, not drink driving. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 So lostone, if someone gets all loud because they had a few drinks, you would kick them out leaving them to drive home? Alcohol is a drug. A drug is a chemical that directly affects the way the brain works. It may make some people crazy at times. There are two people to blame in this situation. I do agree that he is more to blame, but you can't leave someone drunk to drive home. If you can't see what is wrong with this, then there is something wrong with your thought process. I've seen what happens with situations like this. I am not even going to go into how many DUI cases there are around here. Drunk driving is a serious offense. If you noticed.. I was pointing out that error in the writing with my quotes the "Drink Driving". There's no need for two people to correct her on that. Quote from lostone No one takes responsibility for themselves anymore. No wonder this world and the people living on it are so lost. I'm guessing you are the kind of person that would throw a drunk person out so they could drive and kill someone. You just blame it on them. Good for you. This is the way people die, from ignorance. Link to post Share on other sites
lostone Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 Bill: I know all about the depressant drug: alcohol. I see it everyday Bill. I've seen a thousand accidents involving drunks. I've picked up dead bodies from a drunk driving accident. I would make sure they had a ride home so they wouldn't drive. I agree that you cannot just leave someone drunk and alone to drive home. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 Not being a lawyer myself, but having worked in a court house and law library for a while, I can say that there are no easy answers. There are volumes devoted to responsibility & liability in cases like this, and many trials that can be cited. Where I live, it is legally the responsibility of the bar owner or home owner, to see that guests who have been drinking do not drive. I remember reading that one man lost his home fighting this in court after the parents of a girl who was killed by a drunk driver sued him for allowing the driver to leave his home and drive while drunk. There are individual circumstances and the laws are not always truly specific. In a case like yours it would be somewhat hazy to pin the responsibilty on you since you were arguing at the time and might not have thought of the responsibility in the heat of an argument. But then again, who knows? I believe it is ultimately the responsibility of the person who makes the decision to get behind the wheel and drive while drunk, but I also believe that there is a moral responsibility of the person (or establishment) that serves the alcohol to make an effort to prevent it - by calling a cab, another friend, or if necessary, the police. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 Doesn't trust you how? Has your gf influenced you to do things, or behave in certain ways, that would cause his distrust? It seems like after so many years, if you have given him no reason to Not trust you, there should not be a problem. Have you two talked about a compromise? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted February 10, 2003 Share Posted February 10, 2003 If she realized he wasn't fit to drive, she should have advised him to wait -- take a walk, call a cab or a friend. If he wouldn't, she should have called the police so that they could find and remove a drunk driver from harm's way. That was the extent of her obligation to him. No one could reasonably expect her to keep a drunken, angry man in her home. Her responsibility would have been to keep a drunk driver from hurting himself or others. Not to keep him out of trouble with the law. Fortunately he caused no harm to others, and so there is nothing to blame her for. His arrest had nothing to do with her, and in fact if he left her property while driving drunk, it was her civic responsibility to alert the authorities. Link to post Share on other sites
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