nycelodean Posted November 4, 2002 Share Posted November 4, 2002 I am feeling jealous about my boyfriend's possible interest in an another woman, and would like advice on it. I will refer to my boyfriend as X and the other woman as Y. Do any of the below incidents point to an interest in the woman? 1) X was in need of a computer, and ended up buying two computers from Y, having been duped on the second computer which didn't work. X is an entrepeneur who used to buy and sell computers for a living. He bought a second computer from her because the first was very basic and he needed a more advanced computer. X had Y come over to his apartment to try to fix the computer and when she couldn't, he asked that she take the computer and give him his money back, and she ended up giving a bad check to him. 2) X offered to fix things around Y's house for free. He often does handyman work for some income, and has performed free of charge this kind of work others as well , I'm assuming friends, however, they would have to be friends. And X had just met Y. Y is married. His explanation for offering fix things for free for her is that he likes her kids. He does like kids and likes to play with them. Does my boyfriend seem to like this woman or am I jealous for no reason? Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted November 4, 2002 Share Posted November 4, 2002 I'm not so sure this qualifies as interest. I'd need more information to make any kind of educated guess here. You shall need to investigate this further, because it could be, but then again it may not be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nycelodean Posted November 5, 2002 Author Share Posted November 5, 2002 Bill Thank you for the feeback. I don't have too much more information than I gave. I guess I won't really know. I actually asked him if he thought she was pretty, and he said "in a way", and "if you had to answer whether she was pretty or not". Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 but if my man gives as much as a second look to a woman around me, I get pissed. However, I'm jealous...especially when it comes to him. Mine just told me that there is a girl he used to see at a bar he worked at who he saw last night. She lives a block from us and he said we could come chill with her anytime we wanted to. HE also said she is a Police Officer...and also a massuse...and he has an appointment at her house to get a massage today....THAT pisses me off....grrrr But then I'm like, well if it was something to worry about, he'd probably just keep it from me totally... Link to post Share on other sites
Greenisthecolor Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Does this woman's husband know that your boyfriend has been coming over? It seems to me that if he did like this woman, and were planning to do anything with her, that they would keep his presence unknown to him. Since he does seem to be becoming friends with this woman, why don't you invite her, her husband, you and your man out to dinner one night. Friends do that sort of thing, double date and all. That way, you can make your 'territory' (I know people aren't property, but thats the only word I could think of) known to her. Secondly, if he had an interest in this woman, I doubt he'd want to spend time around her husband. You can also start to guage what kind of relationship they have. Who knows, maybe she is just a friend and you might even like her as well. I understand where you're coming from though, I get mad if my s/o stands within two feet of another woman. My s/o has a woman friend he use to be very, very close to and madly in love with. He told me that he no longer had feelings for her, of course I didn't believe him. Well, we started going over her and her boyfriend's apartment to watch football and socialize when her boyfriend was there. It made me feel better to be there. I was able to see that he really didn't pay any attention to her, and she couldn't give a darn about him. If you double date with this woman in question, you might see that she's madly in love with your husband and has no interest in your man. also, you might see that he might be friends with her and nice to her, but he treats you ten times better. if you're worried about whats going on, just put yourself right up in the mix. Or when he's playing with her kids, why don't you invite yourself along. If it's just that, there's no reason you can come over as well. it may not be good advice, but it might make you feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nycelodean Posted November 11, 2002 Author Share Posted November 11, 2002 Greenisthecolor Thanks so much for your input! Further advice from you, based on the information in this latest posting, would be greatly appreciated. The subject woman had invited both me and my boyfriend over for dinner with her and her husband. This was last year before I moved to be with family. Lately, I asked my boyfriend if she invited him for dinner, and he said no, "she invited US", meaning she wanted us as a couple. Yes, he has met her husband, whom he describes to me as a "zero, no personality". I won't be able to gage their interactions because the second computer he bought from her wasn't any good and he sued her successfully for the amount he paid. She didn't show up in the small claims court, and it looks like he won't be able to collect the money from her. All that is making me jealous are that: 1) he's supposed to be an astute businessman and he bought two computers from her, one of them not working 2) he had offered to fix things around her place for free. He explained to me that he likes her kids. He has pictures of her kids, and other kids, that he's show to me. I'm tempted to ask him if he has any photo of her. When I asked him if he thought she was pretty, he said he didn't like her based on her personality, then when I pressed the subject further, he commented "she's pretty IN A WAY . . . she's pretty if one had to answer if she was pretty or not" Link to post Share on other sites
Author nycelodean Posted November 11, 2002 Author Share Posted November 11, 2002 Ally, thanks for your input, which I hadn't seen initially. Cynthia Link to post Share on other sites
Author nycelodean Posted November 11, 2002 Author Share Posted November 11, 2002 This man, with whom I'd recently gotten back together somewhat, will now be forever my ex. During our last phone conversation: he discouraged me from pursuing acting, from starting a loan sales business, said Joan Chen was the most perfect woman (prettier than me) In the past he's told me I was perfect, beautiful, etc. I would never say another man, celebrity or not, was more perfect than he was, out of loyalty and because I just plain don't believe celebrities are all that. Am I right in terminating this relationship because he openly said another woman was prettier? Before this comment during the same conversation, he was telling me not to focus so much on my looks. So, I feel like he was playing mind games and if he wasn't he's still a jerk. Either way, he's history. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted November 11, 2002 Share Posted November 11, 2002 get out while the gettin's good. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted November 12, 2002 Share Posted November 12, 2002 Dude what's up with that? He's going to discourage you from your dreams, and encourage you to do something kinda boring? THEN he's going to tell you that you aren't pretty enough? WTF? This guy doesn't love you! If you talk to him about how that comment hurt you, and he says He didn't mean to hurt you....kick him in the balls and say, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you!!" What a jackass! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts