chrisy484 Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 ok people i need your advice on this one. and please be honest. well.... me and my boyfriend havent had sex in about a month now. when i confronted him with this he said that we dont have to do things like that all the time, he says this also if i try to initiate sex or other things with him. he also has a 5 month old baby girl with his ex gf and he has said to me in other terms that hes scared of having another child. he hasnt shown any signs that he wants to break up with me or lost interest in me. we have fun together and im positive hes not cheating on me, so what is it? also im always the one making the first move, its like hes scared to make a move or ask me to do things for him. lately i havent tried to initiate anything because im scared hes gonna reject me if hes not in the mood. is there anything i can try to get him in the mood? should i try not to initiate anything until he makes the first move? im not sure what to do. i dont want to sound conceited but could it be that hes falling for me faster then he thought and is trying not to get close to me in that way? its just so confusing because he has made no sign of dis-interest in me at all, its just like hes scared to get anymore intimate and open up in that way with me. i need all the advice i can get on this one lol im so confused i've never gone through this before in a relationship. thank you, chrisy484:) Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 should i try not to initiate anything until he makes the first move? Don't leave it up to him. Take initiative. Old age comes to those who wait. If he turns you down, well, it happens (more often to men than women, but that's another thread entirely). Clearly, the dude has a lot on his plate right now, so be understanding but also clear about what you want. Don't make him play guessing games, don't assume he "knows" what you're thinking, don't push him away. I have a feeling that you're going to be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chrisy484 Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 ya i didnt think i should leave it up to him lol. he's so stuck in his old ways b/c he was with his ex for a long time and he's said to me that she really didnt show that much affection and thats why he is like this in a way. he does have alot on his plate right now and i feel bad but i see him everyday practically but i'm missing him lol does that sound weird? he's also told me to talk to him and tell him whats on my mind, which i dont always do but i've gotten much better. i guess i'll just wait it out. im not going to push him away im still going to show him affection but im not going to be so intense like i can be lol that could be another factor. i can be so forward when it comes to making moves and maybe thats just a little to much for him at the moment when hes not used to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally00 Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 Ok well. It's just sex. I understand the fact that he might be scared of having another child. Enjoy other things with him besides just sex. Link to post Share on other sites
moman Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 After a pregnancy scare, I didn't want to have sex for months. I think he was being honest with you and is stressed. If you really like him, support him in this decision and work with him so when he is ready again you are on the receiving end. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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