Cute Girl

[johan]

I once posted a thread called "multilemma". A girl I mentioned in that thread just reappeared. I stopped at a store today on the way home from work and heard my name, and there she was. I was a little shocked and not really Mr. Smooth, but I talked to her a little. I shopped around and she came over and we chatted some more and laughed a little. She's sarcastic like I am.

 

Anywaayy....

 

She's cute as hell. I'd like to have her join me for a hike or something. But asking her to do something even that simple, it just won't come out. I kind of chicken out or reason my way out of it. She's too young, she'd probably get on my nerves, she probably has a boyfriend, I don't like how I look today, what was the expression on her face about?, why did she walk away?, why did she come back?, that thing I said was stupid, whatever crush she had on me has probably just become a memory, on and on and on I go.

 

I'm not a stud. I'm certainly not an "alphamale". Dammit. Farther down the alphabet... I feel more like a "phi-male". Damn. This being a confident guy thing is very perplexing. I'm fine after things get going. I'm just not a starter.

[BareGoddess]

You have to stop analyzing things to death! Try this: Ask yourself what the WORST thing would be if (fill in the blank.) What's the worst thing that would happen if you asked her out to go hiking with you and she turned you down? What's the worst thing that would happen if you found out she has a b/f? What's the worst thing that would happen if you go out with her and found out she was annoying?

 

See where I'm going with this? Aren't the answers to all of those questions better than NOT knowing anything at all..than regretting a missed opportunity? Than always wondering?

[tanbark813]

Give the poor girl a chance to experience the johan.

[BareGoddess]

I went back and read the "multilemma" thread. Wow. You remind me of my sister. She's SO picky like you. There will never be anyone good enough. Who knows how many men she's overlooked because of petty nonsense. Now, she's 43 and has never been married. She's attractive, smart, funny, witty, independent...and alone. It's sad. I'd hate to see you end up like that.

 

Not all women want an "alpha male" but most of us at least want a male. So be a man, suck it up and screw up your nerve to at least take some chances. Right now, you're paralyzed into doing NOTHING.

 

And stop analyzing everything to death! Give each woman that you have some interest in a chance. I mean you remind me of Seinfeld! Have you ever watched that show? This one's hands are too big, another ate funny, another one had an annoying laugh. That's YOU.

 

I read that thread. One was too old (how old WAS she, by the way?), one told some little lie (probably to impress you), one apparently liked you too much (too loving???), and on and on and on...in the meantime, you never gave ANY of them a chance. Oh, let's not forget the one behind the cash register. You didn't ask her out because you didn't want to take advantage of the fact that she was "trapped" and maybe couldn't flee from you? WHAAAAA???? That's NUTS. Believe me. If she wasn't interested, she could be in a CAGE or out in a meadow and it wouldn't matter - she'd let you know.

 

You sound like your own worst enemy. Why punish yourself like this?

[Shane361]

I went back and read the "multilemma" thread. Wow. You remind me of my sister. She's SO picky like you. There will never be anyone good enough. Who knows how many men she's overlooked because of petty nonsense. Now, she's 43 and has never been married. She's attractive, smart, funny, witty, independent...and alone. It's sad. I'd hate to see you end up like that.

 

Not all women want an "alpha male" but most of us at least want a male. So be a man, suck it up and screw up your nerve to at least take some chances. Right now, you're paralyzed into doing NOTHING.

 

And stop analyzing everything to death! Give each woman that you have some interest in a chance. I mean you remind me of Seinfeld! Have you ever watched that show? This one's hands are too big, another ate funny, another one had an annoying laugh. That's YOU.

 

I read that thread. One was too old (how old WAS she, by the way?), one told some little lie (probably to impress you), one apparently liked you too much (too loving???), and on and on and on...in the meantime, you never gave ANY of them a chance. Oh, let's not forget the one behind the cash register. You didn't ask her out because you didn't want to take advantage of the fact that she was "trapped" and maybe couldn't flee from you? WHAAAAA???? That's NUTS. Believe me. If she wasn't interested, she could be in a CAGE or out in a meadow and it wouldn't matter - she'd let you know.

 

You sound like your own worst enemy. Why punish yourself like this?

 

 

Wow...you asked for it and you got it! Sometimes the truth hurts. Worst case..she isnt interested. Next time though..it will be easier and than easier. Try subtle hints to see if she bites. Then watch her reaction. Try something simply and harmless like "here's my number call me sometime". She will say sure...and she may or may not and it's painless. Be realistic as well atleast most of the time. When my ship would pull into a port I would see friends hit on girls that were WAY out of my league much less theirs. Some woman are really good about flirting or humoring to get drinks in a bar. Yeah..never buy a stranger a drink in a bar. Keep it simple and see what happens. Men for the most part have to put themselves on the limb. Its still sorta old fashion like that still. Good luck-Shane

[magichands]

Give the poor girl a chance to experience the johan.

 

Listen to the tanbark. He knows what he's talking about.

 

I think you have everything to lose and nothing to gain. Wait - make that the other way around. Just do it. Timing is nothing.

 

On second thoughts, maybe tanbark is suggesting that you recruit her to the LoveShack?

 

BG does make an interesting point about you being picky. Is there a fine line between too picky and too accepting? When it's the right person, though, you tend to get swept away.

[BareGoddess]

Good post Shane. Just one little thing. The part about "here's my number, call me sometime." NO! I never called any guy who said that to me. They have to ask for MY number. Now, if I said no and they gave me their card, I might reconsider later and call (happened with my H). But if a guy just gave me his card and said to call him, I ALWAYS threw the card away.

 

Like you said things are still kind of "old-fashioned" that way. Oh and I also disagree with you about the buying a girl in a bar a drink thing. I see nothing wrong with it. It can be a good ice-breaker. You have nothing to lose but the price of a drink.

[Shane361]

Good post Shane. Just one little thing. The part about "here's my number, call me sometime." NO! I never called any guy who said that to me. They have to ask for MY number. Now, if I said no and they gave me their card, I might reconsider later and call (happened with my H). But if a guy just gave me his card and said to call him, I ALWAYS threw the card away.

 

Like you said things are still kind of "old-fashioned" that way. Oh and I also disagree with you about the buying a girl in a bar a drink thing. I see nothing wrong with it. It can be a good ice-breaker. You have nothing to lose but the price of a drink.

 

We will have to differ on the drink in the bar. I wont pay for a drink to a stranger, I wont pay for strippers and I def wont pay for sex. Could it be harmelss and inncent...yeah...the drink(lol) but I wont do it. I have seen too many people get taken advantage of by woman. Im not trying to meet woman in a bar anyhow. I go there with friends for a good time.

We will also have to differ on the phone number. I know of more woman that are comfortable taking a number than giving theirs out. Its less threatening to do so. Woman meet many crazy physcho men so I would rather offer mine. If you talk to a guy for a bit and he sounds interesting and he offers his number you have the option to offer yours or take his. That way you get the option of doing what you want in the first place...seeing if he will call. Games....anyhow. Hope you see my side;)

[burning 4 revenge]

i think the op is a troll

[BareGoddess]

We will have to differ on the drink in the bar. I wont pay for a drink to a stranger, I wont pay for strippers and I def wont pay for sex. Could it be harmelss and inncent...yeah...the drink(lol) but I wont do it. I have seen too many people get taken advantage of by woman. Im not trying to meet woman in a bar anyhow. I go there with friends for a good time.

We will also have to differ on the phone number. I know of more woman that are comfortable taking a number than giving theirs out. Its less threatening to do so. Woman meet many crazy physcho men so I would rather offer mine. If you talk to a guy for a bit and he sounds interesting and he offers his number you have the option to offer yours or take his. That way you get the option of doing what you want in the first place...seeing if he will call. Games....anyhow. Hope you see my side;)

 

Yes, I see your side but I just don't agree with it. And buying a drink is not the same thing as paying for sex or paying a stripper, for heaven's sake!

 

I'm just saying that in all my years dating I NEVER called a guy who gave me his number without asking for mine. The best thing to do is to give the woman the choice.

[Shane361]

Yes, I see your side but I just don't agree with it. And buying a drink is not the same thing as paying for sex or paying a stripper, for heaven's sake!

 

I'm just saying that in all my years dating I NEVER called a guy who gave me his number without asking for mine. The best thing to do is to give the woman the choice.

 

 

Sorry..the drink sounds a little extreme I know. Maybe its all the ports I have been to in the Navy and seeing how some ladies are and men for that matter. I have seen ladies take advantage of friends and seen guys try to get woman drunk to take advantage of their lack of inhibition. I stay away from both sides. I would gladly buy a female friend or even male friend a drink, just not a stranger. I dont need to do that to brake the ice. But yes it could be completly harmless given and recieved.

Maybe next time I will ask for her number...see what happens and I'll get back to you . Might be a while though, at the moment I am rather burnt on woman and will remain out of the scene for a while. (another story which is in another thread) -Shane

[Outcast]

I'm another one who disagrees on the number thing. In this day and age IMHO it's much safer to get the guy's number than to give him yours. Then again, I don't believe in 'old-fashioned' because we're not in an 'old-fashioned' world. We're in a world that's got a heckuva lot of wierdos in it. To me, a guy who offers his own number is cognizant of that and is being gentlemanly by taking that into account.

 

Johan, people who are scared come up with amazing rationalizations. Yes, you got burned before but it's time to get back in the saddle. As it were

[BareGoddess]

 

 

Sorry..the drink sounds a little extreme I know. Maybe its all the ports I have been to in the Navy and seeing how some ladies are and men for that matter. I have seen ladies take advantage of friends and seen guys try to get woman drunk to take advantage of their lack of inhibition. I stay away from both sides. I would gladly buy a female friend or even male friend a drink, just not a stranger. I dont need to do that to brake the ice. But yes it could be completly harmless given and recieved.

Maybe next time I will ask for her number...see what happens and I'll get back to you . Might be a while though, at the moment I am rather burnt on woman and will remain out of the scene for a while. (another story which is in another thread) -Shane

 

Yes, when you ask for a girl's number maybe you can start a thread telling us how it went. Perhaps it would inspire Johan.

 

I hereby DARE you, Johan to ask a girl out by next Friday! I'm daring you. Do it and report back to us. If you don't I think you should change your status from a phi-male to a zeta-male.

 

And I think Shane was right to say that it gets easier each time you do it. You've made this too big a thing in your mind. It's really not.

[Shane361]

Yes, when you ask for a girl's number maybe you can start a thread telling us how it went. Perhaps it would inspire Johan.

 

I hereby DARE you, Johan to ask a girl out by next Friday! I'm daring you. Do it and report back to us. If you don't I think you should change your status from a phi-male to a zeta-male.

 

And I think Shane was right to say that it gets easier each time you do it. You've made this too big a thing in your mind. It's really not.

 

 

A dare...woohooo:D Maybe next weekend we will see a thread titled "ribbed for her pleasure or the spanish tickler?" HA HA HA:laugh:

[BareGoddess]

A dare...woohooo:D Maybe next weekend we will see a thread titled "ribbed for her pleasure or the spanish tickler?" HA HA HA:laugh:

 

I wouldn't count on it! He won't even ask a girl for her number! He'll probably start threads like these:

 

Should I wear the blue shirt or the white one when I ask her out?

 

Should I ask her out on Monday or is that too early in the week? Or should I wait until Wed. so I don't seem too desperate?

 

What time of day is the best time to ask her out? Early morning? Late morning? Afternoon or late afternoon? How about evenings? What's the latest acceptable time to call her?

 

You're all confusing me! Should I give her my card or ask for her number or both?

 

What if she's behind a desk or a cash register when I ask her out? Will she think I'm taking advantage of the fact that she can't run and she's trapped?

 

What if she has a boyfriend and I don't know it at the time I ask her out? Will I look like the biggest fool? Is there a way to find that out beforehand? Should I hire a private detective to check her out before I ask her out?

 

Is there a way to know if someone is annoying or too young before you ask them out?

 

I have trouble reading girls' expressions when I'm talking to them. What does it mean if they blink their eyes while you're chatting? Could it mean she's not interested.

 

Does it mean a girl isn't interested in me if I can see her breathing while we're chatting?

 

And what if while you're chatting she walks off and then comes back? Is she trying to tell me something? Is she playing hard to get?

 

What does it mean if we're standing there talking and she looks away for a second? Does this mean she's not interested and I should move on?

[Shane361]

Good job girl..now he will never get laid!

[BareGoddess]

Good job girl..now he will never get laid!

 

NO, NO, NO! He will! I was just trying to point out how silly he's being. I'm trying to light a fire under him. I wasn't trying to be mean.

[Shane361]

NO, NO, NO! He will! I was just trying to point out how silly he's being. I'm trying to light a fire under him. I wasn't trying to be mean.

I know..but it was funny:rolleyes:

[BareGoddess]

I know..but it was funny:rolleyes:

 

Yeah well, I have a feeling Johan won't think so!

[Shane361]

I am by no means like him. But I can relate alot. I am not an aggresive man whatsoever and usually the woman I date are the aggresive ones that come after me. I might be shy or rather not impressed for the most part. I scored the hottest lady of my life cause I paid her no attention. Not that I use that role all the time but I just dont pay woman more attention that I believe they deserve. If I dont know a woman..that why should I be that impressed? Cause she looks good..not enough. It isnt hard to show a girl that your interested. Then the ball is in her court to make a move or not being flirting or what not. I wont do all the work. You can only step so far out on the limb before it brakes ya know:o -Shane

[johan]

Give the poor girl a chance to experience the johan.

You think I should maybe spread it around a little? Maybe you're right. Maybe it's not right for me to keep all my good lovin to myself like this.

 

i think the op is a troll

See? Now I'm not sure if I should do it. Not many chicks dig trolls like me. What happens when I bring her back to my place, and it's just this dirty area under a bridge. She's not going to go for that.

 

Johan, people who are scared come up with amazing rationalizations. Yes, you got burned before but it's time to get back in the saddle. As it were

I know. The longer you wait, the harder (more difficult) it is.

 

I hereby DARE you, Johan to ask a girl out by next Friday! I'm daring you.

By "next Friday", which Friday are you talking about? How much time to do I have to dwell on this?

 

I wouldn't count on it! He won't even ask a girl for her number! He'll probably start threads like these:

 

Should I wear the blue shirt or the white one when I ask her out?

 

Should I ask her out on Monday or is that too early in the week? Or should I wait until Wed. so I don't seem too desperate?

 

What time of day is the best time to ask her out? Early morning? Late morning? Afternoon or late afternoon? How about evenings? What's the latest acceptable time to call her?

 

You're all confusing me! Should I give her my card or ask for her number or both?

 

What if she's behind a desk or a cash register when I ask her out? Will she think I'm taking advantage of the fact that she can't run and she's trapped?

 

What if she has a boyfriend and I don't know it at the time I ask her out? Will I look like the biggest fool? Is there a way to find that out beforehand? Should I hire a private detective to check her out before I ask her out?

 

Is there a way to know if someone is annoying or too young before you ask them out?

 

I have trouble reading girls' expressions when I'm talking to them. What does it mean if they blink their eyes while you're chatting? Could it mean she's not interested.

 

Does it mean a girl isn't interested in me if I can see her breathing while we're chatting?

 

And what if while you're chatting she walks off and then comes back? Is she trying to tell me something? Is she playing hard to get?

 

What does it mean if we're standing there talking and she looks away for a second? Does this mean she's not interested and I should move on?

 

Ha ha. You know, this is why I appreciate LS. You guys come up with stuff I would never even think of. Now I know if I can get answers to those questions, I will be prepared for anything.

 

As far as the number thing goes, that can work, if done right. I'd say about 10% of the time it's the right thing to do. The rest of the time, it comes off as "I'm too scared to call you. I'll know you're interested if you call me though, then I won't have to take any risks."

 

The one time I can think of that it worked for me was a girl from my past that I ran into again. I was a bit arrogant with her and kind of in a hurry. Had nothing to write with, gave her my number, and I had to go. She called me, and to be honest, I still have fond memories of her. She's one that got away.

[BareGoddess]

Yes, by next Friday..not this coming one. You have NO time to dwell on it.

 

By the way, you hit the nail on the head with the number thing. That's always the way I took it if a guy just shoved a card in my face and asked me to call him. But OC might have a point in these days and times. Maybe it's best to give the woman a choice.

 

As far as the area under the bridge, you can neaten it up a bit. Maybe throw down a rug and scour a dumpster for a nice couch. I mean you don't want to date a golddigger, so don't make it TOO nice.

[Outcast]

the harder (more difficult) it is.

 

I'm sure you can work through any hardne.. er hardship

[magichands]

I'm sure you can work through any hardne.. er hardship

 

Great - a troll joke. Sure... everything on a troll is bigger. And they always get the princess.

[Outcast]

Sure... everything on a troll is bigger

My how much you know about trolls! I had no idea. Suddenly this is getting a lot more interesting