Boyfriend's Mother

[KrZyJLyn]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months (He's 20 and I'm 18). When I met his parents I was prim and propper and everything a well brought up girl should be. I know how to live in the world without making waves- or so I thought.

 

About a month and a half ago him and his mother got in this big fight (they fight all the time). She said that he should brake up with me and that I'm a whore, a slut, and a bad influence.

 

**I'm not trying to up my self any, but I grew up in a lower middle class conservative Christian home. We never had a lot, but my mother raised me right- I'm more conservative than 90% of everyone in my community, university, and age group. I'm also a Junior Industral Engineering & Communication student at a highly accredited university. I hold above a 3.0. I drink occationally, with my family- I grew up with a glass of wine with dinner, I don't smoke, and have never done drugs.**

 

So I really don't see where her accusations come from, and neither can anyone who knows me or my family.

 

I am polite, never mouthy with his family; I answer with Yes Ma'am and No Sir.

 

His mother hates me- she doesn't aprove of us being together.

She always has something negative to say.

And, He just had a reconstructive surgery on his leg- I was over there for two weeks taking care of him- because they wont- and they act like they're doing me a favor by letting me be there.

 

Last night I was over his house. His parents went to some casino night fundraiser- and his sister (18) left for who knows what. We were in the living room watching TV. When his sister came home she asked if we were going to see a movie. When we said no- she begins to scream at us:

"WELL I'M WATCHING MY MOVIE IN HERE- SO YOU GUYS NEED TO GET OUT"

 

We left- just went and sat in the kitchen- as we were walking out- He called his sister a bitch (wich may have been unappropriate in some's eyes- but definately true).

 

Sister calls mother- mother comes home- bitches him out-

he starts talking to me again- telling me how peaceful it was while his sister was in Cali for a week-

she comes back in- how dare you hurt your sister's feelings like that and starts yelling at us-

then when we try to tell her what happened- she doesn't believe us!! because his sister is "angelic"

 

I don't know what to do- I talked to him today- and his mother said I'm only allowed over there once a week- but I had already told him that I'll come to get him, and that's the most time I'm ever going to spend at his house again.

 

I just don't know how to deal with this. I kissed her ass- do everything for her and their family- and I'll I've ever gotten back is $hit that I don't deserve.

 

What should I do? I'm so sad and angry- I hate his mother and his sister!! But I don't want to do something stupid and rash! I don't know what to do?!?!

 

Please Help Me!!

[SuperMonk]

Seems like your boyfriend lives with a dysfunctional family.

 

His mother and his sister probably do not get along with your boyfriend that well, therefore when they see another girl that your boyfriend gets along with they tend to feel increased hostility towards her son who is unconciously bringing someone of the same gender that is opposite of what they are. Now there are people out there who do not get along with one parent or a sibling, this doesn't mean you should avoid them, but it's probably the best idea for you and your boyfriend to try to avoid those poisonous people as much as possible for yours and his sanity.

 

Why are you so nice to those people who treat you bad? Stop doing that, but then you are 18 - you will soon learn that being nice to hateful poisonous people only has temporary effects and the insanity returns. Just be respectful but keep your existence with people with mental probs as brief as possible.

[MadDog]

He needs to stop being a momma's boy and letting his mother influence him so much. If his mom is disrespectful towards you without even knowing you, he needs to stand up to her and set her straight. Does he still live with her or what?

 

MD

[KrZyJLyn]

He still lives with her because she's paying for the reconstuctive surgery on his leg- and he won't be able to work until some time this summer (hopefully). He's a mechanic. He plans on moving out late this summer or this fall some time- but that depends on if he gets a job with his leg being an issue.

[MadDog]

He still lives with her because she's paying for the reconstuctive surgery on his leg- and he won't be able to work until some time this summer (hopefully). He's a mechanic. He plans on moving out late this summer or this fall some time- but that depends on if he gets a job with his leg being an issue.

 

It still doesn't give her the right to act the way she does. And he still needs to stick up for you. He didn't sign away the ability to make his own decisions when he agreed to receive her help, I'm sure.