killerlooks Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 My b/f and I have been together for 2 months. Sex is awesome. However lately I notice that when we have sex before even finish having an orgasm he is up and out of bed and I am the one always coming on to him. I spoke to him about this before and he said because when he was with his ex he always had to initiate everything and it is such a novelty to have someone coming on to him. I told him I need him to reciprocate and he did call me up once and was telling me how much he wants me, etc. He does sweet things like show up at my office unannounced and rearrange his day to be able to be with me (but which guy wouldn't if he's getting sex at the end). I am thinking of ending the relationship b/c especially the not even kissing me after sex (which he used to) and jumping out of bed makes me feel quite cheap. I am almost expecting him to throw some cash down. What should I do. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Take the money. Sorry, I suppose that's not very helpful. It's only been 2 months. These things take time, especially if he's still dealing with some sexual baggage from his previous relationship. So relax, take it easy, and understand that he's a product of his past, just like you are of yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Before you break up with him, try a few things first. Although I totally agree with you on making it feel like your cheap. Next time you have sex and he jumps up. Try asking him if he wouldn't mind cuddling up with you for a while. If he's just programmed from his ex to jump up, then this should bring him back to reality. May have to do this several times though before you knock the habit out of him. And try telling him specifically that it makes you feel speical and loved when he holds you after sex. Don't make it negative, like "I feel like a cheap, dirty whore." Keep it all positive lingo. "It really makes me feel like I'm important to you when you hold me for a while after sex." or something like that. Remember, no "Where's my money cheapskate?!?" jk. Sometimes you have to slap men upside the head to get them to realize they should do something for you. Not that he wouldn't want to if he knew, but that for some reason it's not clicking in his head that he should do that for you still. I think you should try this first, because it sounds like he does care about. I think he just has a wire crossed somewhere. Take a deep breath, remind him it makes you happy, and do this several times before giving up. Just keep talking to him, but try to keep the negative emotional words out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author killerlooks Posted November 7, 2005 Author Share Posted November 7, 2005 Thanks for the great advice. He just called me and I mentioned it to him in a humourous way and we laughed about it but I think he understands. He really is a great guy albeit sometimes a typical guy and I know he had some drama with his ex who didn't make him feel appreciated, etc. I also haven't been in a relationship for a long long time so it's difficult for me at times. Thanks for all the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts