An amazing waitress I would like to know.. s?

[JustAnotherLostLove]

Hey everyone,

 

First of all, I apologize for my screen name. I made it some years back, after breaking up with my ex, and now I cringe whenever I read it, lol. Moving on!

 

I'm going to try and keep this short, it's important to me that everyone takes a moment to read what I'm thinking, and form some opinions based on it, so here we go!

 

There's this local bar that my friends and I go to somewhat often (twice a month maybe). There's this waitress that works there, and I am absolutely fascinated by her! She's incredible at her job, warm, friendly, makes eye contact when she talks, will often briefly sit next to people when taking their orders, and is absolutely beautiful (at least to me). She possesses this "it" factor about her, it's hard to explain, but she's incredibly sweet, and it hurts my heart to even look at her. What I can say tho, is that I was instantly intrigued by her, right off the bat, and this might be the second time in my life where I suddenly felt a particular way about someone.

 

I don't even know if I'm here to ask a question, or what. I guess just some thoughts would be nice, anything really. I'd certainly appreciate hearing a ladies perspective on this. Thing is, I'm in my 30's, so I try to remain realistic. I get it, all those qualities listed are essentially requirements to being a good waitress, and I doubt that her charming behavior was reserved for me exclusively. But never the less, she fascinates me, and I would love to just sit down with her sometime, and learn things about her. What she likes, what makes her laugh, etc. I figure if I'm this intrigued by someone, and it rarely ever happens, than maybe I should see what I can do about it. Life is short, right? On the other hand, there's no doubt that she probably gets guys approaching her on the regular, and I sincerely don't want to be just another guy that might make her uncomfortable, just because she's nice to people. She's fantastic at her job, and I don't want to discourage her by being a creep!

 

But again, she makes strong eye contact with me, smiles, laughs at my stupid comments, picks something up if I drop it, says good bye to us when we leave etc, AND I feel comfortable around her! There's something about her that is beautiful, something I can't explain, and I'm fascinated to know what that is!

 

Honestly, how does this come off to you guys, am I being too much? Gimme some feedback please!

[PRW]

Hey everyone,

 

there's no doubt that she probably gets guys approaching her on the regular, and I sincerely don't want to be just another guy that might make her uncomfortable, just because she's nice to people. She's fantastic at her job, and I don't want to discourage her by being a creep!

 

That is exactly what will happen. She does exactly what her job requires and is very good at it. But she is probably very tough under the surface. The job requires that too.

 

Show up at the bar with dates. They should be casual dates as all dates should be causal when starting out. They need to be good dates that turn out well. This is NOT a jealousy thing, but she will notice that other women are comfortable around you and trust you and that you are capable of maturity and can treat a woman properly, rather than be a drunken incompetent highschool-ish kid that can't handle a date to save his life, like half the guys that try to pick her up in the bar probably are.

[JustAnotherLostLove]

That is exactly what will happen. She does exactly what her job requires and is very good at it. But she is probably very tough under the surface. The job requires that too.

 

Show up at the bar with dates. They should be casual dates as all dates should be causal when starting out. They need to be good dates that turn out well. This is NOT a jealousy thing, but she will notice that other women are comfortable around you and trust you and that you are capable of maturity and can treat a woman properly, rather than be a drunken incompetent highschool-ish kid that can't handle a date to save his life, like half the guys that try to pick her up in the bar probably are.

 

Totally agree with everything you said. However tough she might be tho, she doesn't come off as jaded, she comes off as genuine. As far as showing up with other girls.. Both times I went, I had other girl "friends", as well as guys with me. Problem is, I've known all my friends a VERY long time, and sometimes we get "highschool-ish", cause we're comfortable being goofy around each other.

 

One thing I didn't mention above, is that I haven't formally got her name yet. So I'll do that next time I see her, maybe show up a few more times after that, and see where it goes!

[JustAnotherLostLove]

Hey everyone,

 

First of all, I apologize for my screen name. I made it some years back, after breaking up with my ex, and now I cringe whenever I read it, lol. Moving on!

 

I'm going to try and keep this short, it's important to me that everyone takes a moment to read what I'm thinking, and form some opinions based on it, so here we go!

 

There's this local bar that my friends and I go to somewhat often (twice a month maybe). There's this waitress that works there, and I am absolutely fascinated by her! She's incredible at her job, warm, friendly, makes eye contact when she talks, will often briefly sit next to people when taking their orders, and is absolutely beautiful (at least to me). She possesses this "it" factor about her, it's hard to explain, but she's incredibly sweet, and it hurts my heart to even look at her. What I can say tho, is that I was instantly intrigued by her, right off the bat, and this might be the second time in my life where I suddenly felt a particular way about someone.

 

I don't even know if I'm here to ask a question, or what. I guess just some thoughts would be nice, anything really. I'd certainly appreciate hearing a ladies perspective on this. Thing is, I'm in my 30's, so I try to remain realistic. I get it, all those qualities listed are essentially requirements to being a good waitress, and I doubt that her charming behavior was reserved for me exclusively. But never the less, she fascinates me, and I would love to just sit down with her sometime, and learn things about her. What she likes, what makes her laugh, etc. I figure if I'm this intrigued by someone, and it rarely ever happens, than maybe I should see what I can do about it. Life is short, right? On the other hand, there's no doubt that she probably gets guys approaching her on the regular, and I sincerely don't want to be just another guy that might make her uncomfortable, just because she's nice to people. She's fantastic at her job, and I don't want to discourage her by being a creep!

 

But again, she makes strong eye contact with me, smiles, laughs at my stupid comments, picks something up if I drop it, says good bye to us when we leave etc, AND I feel comfortable around her! There's something about her that is beautiful, something I can't explain, and I'm fascinated to know what that is!

 

Honestly, how does this come off to you guys, am I being too much? Gimme some feedback please!

 

thread bump. thank you.

[PRW]

Totally agree with everything you said. However tough she might be tho, she doesn't come off as jaded, she comes off as genuine. As far as showing up with other girls..

 

Tough doesn't mean jaded. It means she would be smart and experienced with men hitting on her and knows exactly how to put them in their place. She can see through all their BS and things just aren't going to get past her. She won't be fooled by anyone very easy. Bar waitresses are different than restaurants.

 

Both times I went, I had other girl "friends", as well as guys with me. Problem is, I've known all my friends a VERY long time, and sometimes we get "highschool-ish"

 

That not the same as a date. That is friend-zone stuff. It actually makes you look weak in that you are only friends with those girls rather than actually dating one of them.

[JustAnotherLostLove]

Tough doesn't mean jaded. It means she would be smart and experienced with men hitting on her and knows exactly how to put them in their place. She can see through all their BS and things just aren't going to get past her. She won't be fooled by anyone very easy. Bar waitresses are different than restaurants.

 

 

 

That not the same as a date. That is friend-zone stuff. It actually makes you look weak in that you are only friends with those girls rather than actually dating one of them.

 

Oh God... I would never WANT to date them, lol. And I'll tell ya what.. If it makes me look weak to HER, that I got some old friend girls that I go way back with, then at that point, the lack of attraction would be mutual.

[alphamale]

Gimme some feedback please!

 

she works for tips man...how much are you tipping her? 30%? 45%?

[JustAnotherLostLove]

she works for tips man...how much are you tipping her? 30%? 45%?

 

You know what's messed up? Check this... I had a bill of about $20, so I said to myself, "She's great, I'm going to tip her well". So I gave her 30% I believe it was. I turned around and asked my friends (guys AND girls), "What did y'all tip her"? And they gave her between 30-40%, lol.

 

Safe to say, everyone liked her as much.

[preraph]

She is not showing any particular interest beyond being friendly to get tips. So you really can't go by anything she does in the club because that is how she earns her tips, being nice and friendly.

 

So that leaves the only way to find out is to ask her if she has a boyfriend or whatever. Waitresses and barmaids will often not wear their wedding ring so they get better tips, but then they may put it on if someone they want to discourage is being a pest.

 

So ask her if she has a boyfriend. If she says no, just before you leave, write your phone number down and "I'd love to take you out sometime, but I understand if it's not in the cards for whatever reason."

 

Of course, she never calls and you lose your hangout.

 

When I was working as a waitress and barmaid I told anyone who asked that I did have a boyfriend, but I didn't. Because most guys who hit on me weren't anyone I was attracted to. But I did meet a couple of guys I went out with at the bar I tended during the daytime. One of them just started coming in and being there and looking at me through his sunglasses and then offered to help me move and never left. The other, I just met him there and it developed over years of me crushing on him.

 

Anyway, other than making your hangout uncomfortable, you have nothing to lose by asking. If you just ask her if she has a boyfriend first, really, no harm done if she says yes. You will still have a hangout. If she says no and then doesn't text you, that's where you lose your hangout.

[d0nnivain]

Talk to her like a person. Don't hot on her. Say something to her near closing time assuming you are sober, like "would you like to go grab a cup of coffee or some breakfast?" It's a very low key hang out ask.

[JustAnotherLostLove]

She is not showing any particular interest beyond being friendly to get tips. So you really can't go by anything she does in the club because that is how she earns her tips, being nice and friendly.

 

So that leaves the only way to find out is to ask her if she has a boyfriend or whatever. Waitresses and barmaids will often not wear their wedding ring so they get better tips, but then they may put it on if someone they want to discourage is being a pest.

 

So ask her if she has a boyfriend. If she says no, just before you leave, write your phone number down and "I'd love to take you out sometime, but I understand if it's not in the cards for whatever reason."

 

Of course, she never calls and you lose your hangout.

 

When I was working as a waitress and barmaid I told anyone who asked that I did have a boyfriend, but I didn't. Because most guys who hit on me weren't anyone I was attracted to. But I did meet a couple of guys I went out with at the bar I tended during the daytime. One of them just started coming in and being there and looking at me through his sunglasses and then offered to help me move and never left. The other, I just met him there and it developed over years of me crushing on him.

 

Anyway, other than making your hangout uncomfortable, you have nothing to lose by asking. If you just ask her if she has a boyfriend first, really, no harm done if she says yes. You will still have a hangout. If she says no and then doesn't text you, that's where you lose your hangout.

 

I agree, and I didn't really assume i was getting special treatment. I'm not super young, or naive. I always try to remain realistic, and I actually never noticed if she had a ring. Again, I think more than anything, I was just impressed by her, as appose to feeling like she took specific interest in me. Not many women impress me to be completely honest, but she's... Different.

 

I do appreciate your advice, and maybe in time, I'll see about exchanging numbers. For now, I'm just content with the idea of meeting her a few more times. Like I said, I didn't even get her name, formally. So maybe next time, I'll ask for that.

[JustAnotherLostLove]

Talk to her like a person. Don't hot on her. Say something to her near closing time assuming you are sober, like "would you like to go grab a cup of coffee or some breakfast?" It's a very low key hang out ask.

 

I could never be "hot" on anybody, it's never been my style, I'm not good at that.

[Ronni_W]

, and I don't want to discourage her by being a creep!

Ask her like this: "Would it be really creepy to you if I asked if you'd like to go for coffee with me outside of this place, at some point in the future?"

 

This same thing happened with me many years ago, with a bartender. Also, big age gap, I felt out of place, etc., etc. Turned out, he was feeling it on his side, too. We went for that coffee. I certainly don't regret it...and I don't think that he does, either. (At the same time, it doesn't mean that it's necessarily going to last forever, and maybe not even turn into a full-on, normal/typical romance.)

[JustAnotherLostLove]

Ask her like this: "Would it be really creepy to you if I asked if you'd like to go for coffee with me outside of this place, at some point in the future?"

 

This same thing happened with me many years ago, with a bartender. Also, big age gap, I felt out of place, etc., etc. Turned out, he was feeling it on his side, too. We went for that coffee. I certainly don't regret it...and I don't think that he does, either. (At the same time, it doesn't mean that it's necessarily going to last forever, and maybe not even turn into a full-on, normal/typical romance.)

 

So you were the girl in that situation, and you asked him would it be creepy? Personally, as a guy, if I asked her that, I'd feel creepy for even mentioning it, lol. I like your advice tho! I agree with it!

[Ronni_W]

So you were the girl in that situation, and you asked him would it be creepy?

Well...yes and no. As it turned out, we both felt kinda 'creepy' even though neither one of us was doing anything actually creepy - but that was just part of the whole attraction-thing...which neither of us could figure out what the heck was going on!

 

What is something that you might say, without you feeling creepy for saying it? (His name was on the restaurant bill...so there's a tip for ya. .)

 

From the other side, please do know that she's getting hit on all the time...by real creeps, not just by nice guys who are so nice that they actually feel creepy about making even the sweetest gesture of inviting for coffee (or lunch, or whatever).

[preraph]

Oh, yes, absolutely start with her name. Next time she comes for the drink order, just casually say, "Hi, what's your name? I'm Dave, and this is Richard." Introduce the table. Servers like it when you don't just yell "waitress."

 

This isn't some Hooters type place, is it? Only asked because she sat at the table and they do that at Hooters for $10.

[JustAnotherLostLove]

Oh, yes, absolutely start with her name. Next time she comes for the drink order, just casually say, "Hi, what's your name? I'm Dave, and this is Richard." Introduce the table. Servers like it when you don't just yell "waitress."

 

This isn't some Hooters type place, is it? Only asked because she sat at the table and they do that at Hooters for $10.

 

Lol, hell no it's not Hooters! It's not some super classy place tho, not bad either by any means. Good food, good prices, good drinks etc. Good advice too, by the way.

[JustAnotherLostLove]

Well...yes and no. As it turned out, we both felt kinda 'creepy' even though neither one of us was doing anything actually creepy - but that was just part of the whole attraction-thing...which neither of us could figure out what the heck was going on!

 

What is something that you might say, without you feeling creepy for saying it? (His name was on the restaurant bill...so there's a tip for ya. .)

 

From the other side, please do know that she's getting hit on all the time...by real creeps, not just by nice guys who are so nice that they actually feel creepy about making even the sweetest gesture of inviting for coffee (or lunch, or whatever).

 

No, I have no doubt that you're totally right about that, and nothing would suck more, than to be identified among those kind of guys. Here's what I'm thinking... I'm interested in her as a person, I want to know about her character.. If I'm being completely honest, I'm fascinated by her, for no good reason, and my intentions really are decent. If there was a girl out there, and she felt that way about me, I'd be bummed to learn that nothing was done about it. I let a situation like this pass me by ONE other time in my life. I can't do that again, and honestly, I'm willing to crash and burn on this one, if need be. God willing I don't tho, lol.

[Shyguy94]

Hey everyone,

 

First of all, I apologize for my screen name. I made it some years back, after breaking up with my ex, and now I cringe whenever I read it, lol. Moving on!

 

I'm going to try and keep this short, it's important to me that everyone takes a moment to read what I'm thinking, and form some opinions based on it, so here we go!

 

There's this local bar that my friends and I go to somewhat often (twice a month maybe). There's this waitress that works there, and I am absolutely fascinated by her! She's incredible at her job, warm, friendly, makes eye contact when she talks, will often briefly sit next to people when taking their orders, and is absolutely beautiful (at least to me). She possesses this "it" factor about her, it's hard to explain, but she's incredibly sweet, and it hurts my heart to even look at her. What I can say tho, is that I was instantly intrigued by her, right off the bat, and this might be the second time in my life where I suddenly felt a particular way about someone.

 

I don't even know if I'm here to ask a question, or what. I guess just some thoughts would be nice, anything really. I'd certainly appreciate hearing a ladies perspective on this. Thing is, I'm in my 30's, so I try to remain realistic. I get it, all those qualities listed are essentially requirements to being a good waitress, and I doubt that her charming behavior was reserved for me exclusively. But never the less, she fascinates me, and I would love to just sit down with her sometime, and learn things about her. What she likes, what makes her laugh, etc. I figure if I'm this intrigued by someone, and it rarely ever happens, than maybe I should see what I can do about it. Life is short, right? On the other hand, there's no doubt that she probably gets guys approaching her on the regular, and I sincerely don't want to be just another guy that might make her uncomfortable, just because she's nice to people. She's fantastic at her job, and I don't want to discourage her by being a creep!

 

But again, she makes strong eye contact with me, smiles, laughs at my stupid comments, picks something up if I drop it, says good bye to us when we leave etc, AND I feel comfortable around her! There's something about her that is beautiful, something I can't explain, and I'm fascinated to know what that is!

 

Honestly, how does this come off to you guys, am I being too much? Gimme some feedback please!

 

I'm actually having basically the exact same dilemma lol. I went out for dinner Saturday with some family to celebrate a birthday, and I also find myself fascinated by this waitress. She was sweet, kind and very good at her job, she was always checking in on us to see if we needed anything, we were a group of about 20 so there was two of them looking after us, the other waitress introduced herself when we arrived but then crickets from her the rest of the evening. Anyways I feel the same kind of attraction to this girl as it seems you have here as well.

 

I'm sorry I don't have any insight to provide since it felt too awkward to ask her out like that, especially in front of family members. So I'm also looking to find a non-creepy way to ask her out. I'm curious if there's any ladies out there who have been asked out while they were working a waitressing job or similar, and had a good experience? How does one go about that? The restaurant I'm speaking of has take-out that I occasionally order, could I slip her my number as I was picking it up or should I straight up ask her? As my username suggests I don't have alot of experience with this kind of thing and wondering what would you say to her in a situation like this?