Starting to put pressure on a casual relationship to LDR

[Qkrwodud]

Hi, I met a guy in January in my town when he visited for a vaca. He was with his friends and I was with mine when we met at a bar. We hung out that night as a group and the next day he asked me to have a dinner with him. It lasted for 5 hours and seemed to be great. He was divorced for about a year and I was also out of a long term relationship for 8 months.

 

I already had a plan to visit his town(LA) for 5 days in the last week of February so we decided to hang out when i visited. He planned the whole weekend for me, went for hikes, bike riding, dinners and brunches, everything was almost perfect. We did sleep together. He continuously told me to move to LA and I told him I didn't see any reason to unless I got a job offer or something.

 

After I got back to town, we texted each other for awhile. And last Sunday, I got a courage to call him. He sounded so happy and thrilled when I called him. He said he wanted to visit me the next weekend and he would call me the next day for details since he was about to have dinner with his friends.

He did call me on Monday and we talked for about an hour. But he said he forgot that there was his friends wedding he needed to go to in that weekend and we needed to find another weekend.

 

On Wednesday, out of blue, my firm decided to send me to LA in October to open up a branch and put me in charge of the region which was the biggest opportunity in my life. So I told him that I would be really moving to LA in 6 months.

 

He said he was so excited to hear it and happy for me. But he also wanted to see me sooner. He called me that night to congratulate me and asked me about my plans. He said we would find a weekend to see each other definitely. We talked for about 30 mins.

 

Now I get a feeling that the situation now is actually putting some pressure on a casual relationship to possible LDR. before the news, I thought of it like, a great guy who lives far away such a shame. But now since I'm actually moving there in 6 months, feels like I had to do something about it. And I don't want things to be awkward or unnatural or pressured.

 

He hasn't wrote me since Wednesday which is normal givegiven that we usually talked 2-3times a week. Idk how to take this and don't know how He s taking it. Should I initiate contacts and talk about it? Or just let it be....?

[kendahke]

I don't see how there is pressure on anything, other than him wanting to see you sooner.

 

Don't move there thinking that your'e going to move in with him---that would be pressure that your involvement right now doesn't have the legs to support.

 

If you want to keep it casual, then keep it light and breezy for now. You have more than enough things to tackle in the next 7 months.

 

LA tip: Although it's all expensive out there, the west side is way more expensive than the valley... the trade off is the commute can be hell. Also, you can get to the beach from the valley without taking the freeways. Sepulveda Blvd is your friend. Cahuenga is the best kept commute secret in H'wood. And it's not "the 405"... it's "the effin' 405".

Edited March 18, 2018 by kendahke

[Qkrwodud]

I don't see how there is pressure on anything, other than him wanting to see you sooner.

 

Don't move there thinking that your'e going to move in with him---that would be pressure that your involvement right now doesn't have the legs to support.

 

If you want to keep it casual, then keep it light and breezy for now. You have more than enough things to tackle in the next 7 months.

 

LA tip: Although it's all expensive out there, the west side is way more expensive than the valley... the trade off is the commute can be hell. Also, you can get to the beach from the valley without taking the freeways. Sepulveda Blvd is your friend. Cahuenga is the best kept commute secret in H'wood. And it's not "the 405"... it's "the effin' 405".

 

 

The way he said it was a little weird. He said I'm excited but it's in 5 months tho.. I want to see you sooner. And since we were both busy we couldn't figure out when to see each other. So I said well, we will never see each other again lol but he said we will find a way. He never talked like that. It was always casual and breezy but all of sudden he started sound so serious... I'm afraid this could scare him and myself off. Frankly im worried that Since he is recently divorced and I'm not ready for a relationship, this could trigger some issues in both of us.

 

And no way I'll be moving in with him lol

 

Abt LA, my office will be in DTLA... heard driving is horrible lol Areas like echo park or Los feliz will be too expensive? Well I still have time to figure out.

[kendahke]

The way he said it was a little weird. He said I'm excited but it's in 5 months tho.. I want to see you sooner. And since we were both busy we couldn't figure out when to see each other. So I said well, we will never see each other again lol but he said we will find a way. He never talked like that. It was always casual and breezy but all of sudden he started sound so serious... I'm afraid this could scare him and myself off. Frankly im worried that Since he is recently divorced and I'm not ready for a relationship, this could trigger some issues in both of us.

 

Abt LA, my office will be in DTLA... heard driving is horrible lol Areas like echo park or Los feliz will be too expensive? Well I still have time to figure out.

 

Yeah, if he's recently divorced, then he still needs to work through the demise of his marriage and may be living too much in the "future of his fashioning" right now. He needs to be "in the now" for the time being.

 

Los Feliz is a really cool, trendy area now and it could be pricey, but you may luck up on a real find there. Silver Lake is about the same. I'm not too sure about Echo Park, though..

 

Start studying maps of LA... that's what helped me out a whole lot before I moved there. Figueroa is a good street to get into downtown, but how you get on it near Griffith Park can be tricky. It's a good way to avoid the parking lot that is the 110/Harbor-Pasadena Fwy.

Edited March 18, 2018 by kendahke