youropinionz Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 We've been dating about 5 months. So far I've met one of his friends, which went pretty well all things considered. It was a low pressure situation and we were involved in an activity so I didn't feel like I had to be the center of attention. He was great in trying to include me in their conversations when he noticed I was having a hard time following along with their topics of discussion. Speaking of center of attention, I do not like the spotlight. Being brought into his group of friends, I'll inevitably be the center of attention. I'm not shy, but I prefer to listen more often than speak. I also have social anxiety and I deal with it. I prefer to have a few days in advance to process plans, so I'm glad this wasn't sprung up on me the day of. Hopefully other anxious people out there know what I mean by that. I've agreed to meet them for lunch this week. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to meet them because he talks about them so often. Looking for someone to talk me down from this ledge, and wondering what I can do to calm my nerves so I don't put so much pressure on myself. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 get there early and have a couple of drinks before they show up Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Just keep telling yourself that they're only people. They have problems, they have down days, they're not perfect, some of them may even have social anxiety. Project yourself into the future when you know them and are familiar enough that you actually look forward to going for lunch or dinner with them. And, most important, tell yourself this..."It doesn't matter what they think of me, it's what I think of them that counts". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I highly doubt you'll be the centre of attention. When you're a virtual stranger spending time with people who know each other well, you'll find those friends will spend most of their time catching up with each other. I've always found that being left out is a bigger issue! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I don't recall ever feeling like the "center of attention" when meeting my BFs friends for the first time. Usually it's a simple greeting, and then participate in conversations if you can. Deep breath and RELAX. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucylou77 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 How old are you guys? Are his friends your age or are they older?? Do you have anything in common with them, such as do you go to the same school or anything? Find things you have in common or things they are interested in so you have stuff you can talk about. Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Treat it like you're being interviewed by a panel managers. Get together some friends and have them ask you practice interrogation questions like "what are your intentions with our friend?" and "what do you think you possibly have in common with us?" Relax. Take deep breaths and just be yourself. Not overly happy/friendly trying too hard you, just you. If you're a nice, pleasant person, chances are high that they will like you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 They are just people. You have your BF in common. So odds are you will find points of commonality with them. Wear a comfortable outfit that makes you feel awesome. Have a few current events topics you can talk about -- who won the Olympics last night etc. Smile. Don't drink too much. Picture yourself having a great time before you go. Then go & make that a reality. Link to post Share on other sites
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