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Texting. Question for women


jdesey

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I’m asking this to women. What is your expectation on who should be initiating text messages early on? If I find that I’m the one initiating every text is that a bad sign? Seems like it to me.

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At first, I want the guy initiate texts/planning dates. Once I get more comfortable with him and sense a relationship might form, I'll start to text first and plan things. I'm still very traditional when I first meet someone.

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At first, I want the guy initiate texts/planning dates. Once I get more comfortable with him and sense a relationship might form, I'll start to text first and plan things. I'm still very traditional when I first meet someone.

 

I'm the same way; I expect to be pursued initially, so I'm pretty traditional. If after a couple dates, I think the guy is invested in more than physical intimacy and wants to explore a relationship, I'll start initiating things.

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I think it should be a balance. I would prefer the guy to initiate the conversation first early on, just because I’m old school i guess. However i don’t think you should just be chasing after a girl either.

I’m not above initiating conversation after a few days or week of talking.

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Versacehottie

It's definitely not a bad sign IMO. A lot of girls are traditional in this sense and a guy who is willing to initiate is what we want. A lot of girls don't want to look too clingy as that usually backfires on them. The only real "bad" sign I think you can get from being the initiating one is if she doesn't reply or takes forever to reply or acts nonchalant and uninterested or one word answers. To me, the girl who is initiating a lot toward you with the texting is probably bored and desperate--she will do that with a lots of guys and is looking for attention.

 

Be genuine and more direct. I think girls aren't expect a marathon texting thing. Just get to the point and set something up IMO.

 

Generalizations, I know but pretty valid among all of my girlfriends.

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Either you're dating women who have low confidence so they always wait for the guy to initiate all contact, or you're chasing women who aren't interested.

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All great responses. I have learned to keep texting to a minimum and try to use the phone just to set up dates. Otherwise there’s really nothing to discuss when we meet

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If you're ALWAYS the one initiating, yes, that's bad. It means she's not enjoying you. Texting is not a chore or obligation. It's used to set up meetings, but also it's fun to share news or something interesting. Either she's got nothing to say, or she's too afraid of looking desperate. Both are bad.

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if you have to wonder so much about who should text first and when..there is a problem, either with you or him or the relationship.

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