Angel29 Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 I confessed my feelings and got rejected by a guy a few months ago as he claimed he led me on but I know he has intimacy issues. A few weeks after he kept staring at me at a party but I avoided looking at him. Why stare if he did not want to date me. I avoided our walking group and mutual friends parties for the past 2 months to get over him by seeing other friends and doing my hobbies. I saw him last night which he kept looking at me. I avoided eye contact as I don't want to fall for him again. I cried all the way home. I thought I had got over him but realised I still have feelings. I know he is not right for me. Why would he stare again? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 (edited) I don't know why he would stare. If I made eye contact with someone from my past, even if it was awkward; I'd walk up and exchange pleasantries and try to be nice. Talk about the weather, etc. Maybe try the direct approach... Next time he is staring, walk up and confront him. Be polite, but acknowledge you saw him looking at you and you thought you should say hello, etc. How are you doing?? How is work?? Family?? Pets?? Generic stuff. My guess is (1) He'll stop with the staring and apologize (2) Explain himself and elaborate or (3) Lie and say he wasn't staring. This is just a working hypothesis, I could be wrong... You shouldn't have to avoid parties or friends, etc. The quicker you put a patch on this situation, the quicker you can go back to your walking group, friends, etc. Edited January 21, 2018 by Happy Lemming spelling Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 I've experienced this - the guy who stares all the time and never makes a move. I fell for that guy as well but then I eventually moved on because I realized he would never take any action. He will just continue to stare and never do anything - maybe he has a gf, maybe he has some internal issues that we know nothing about. Whatever his issues are, you need to move on. The more you hang in there hoping he'll suddenly come to his senses one day and tell you he wants to date you, the more hurt you'll be. Keep moving on and don't look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Iseult Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Why stare if he did not want to date me. You probably had some bird poop in your hair. Was he laughing or look disgusted? Link to post Share on other sites
nothingsintheflowerz Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Why does it matter whether he looks at you or not? He rejected you. When you truly get over him the need to make this eye contact to even notice will subside. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Sounds to me he's got crazy anxiety issues. He keeps staring, trying to muster up confidence in himself, but he just can't do it. People who have anxiety go through this type of viscous cycle of wishing, fear, and resentment. He wasn't wrong for you, there is something wrong with him. Something you can't fix, nor can he. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Maybe he wants to hook up. Staring does not equate to an interest in dating. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Nah. If this guy was wanting and capable of dating you, he wouldn't have rejected you. Especially guys who aren't really ready and able to have a relationship because of whatever, lack of confidence or fear, they LOVE to know a woman is pining after them. It gives them an ego boost. That is all this is. He may simply not be that attracted to you or he may not have the confidence to date. Either one of those is a dealbreaker to you because he's not fit to date, so what you need to do is stop being in love with the guy you hoped he was and realize this is who he actually is, a guy who rejected you and admitted he led you on for sport. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 I had a guy who was always staring at me, in THAT way. I developed a crush on him, then later found out he's gay. Somehow your guy knew he was leading you on, that's bad. You need to stop interpreting the staring as him being interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 He's probably staring because he is socially awkward. Try to ignore him. Living well is the best revenge against somebody like him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Find someone else in your group and let him stare at the two of you being happy together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Find someone else in your group and let him stare at the two of you being happy together. This is excellent advice ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Don't read too much into it. How many threads here are like "my [boss, coworker, classmate, person etc gym etc.] was staring at me" end up nowhere. A lot of times they ask the person out and they turn them down or turn out to be taken. People look for all kinds of reasons. Doesn't mean much. Just try to move on.Sorry this happened 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Find someone else in your group and let him stare at the two of you being happy together. May I add, only if you really like that person. Otherwise it's using an innocent person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 May I add, only if you really like that person. Otherwise it's using an innocent person. Absolutely. Link to post Share on other sites
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