girlfriend/relationship issue

[accident_prone]

been awhile since i needed to post on here. feels bad having to return.

i have been with my girlfriend for 6 months. while we have only been together 6 months, we have together been through what feels like a couple years worth of experiences.

overall, things have been pretty great. we have been very happy together. only recently, things started to feel like they're falling apart. in a series of terrible events, we both lost our jobs around christmas (she has since found another) and then spent the week of christmas together. all in all, despite the circumstances, things were still feeling okay. however over the past couple weeks since then, we have been arguing a lot (like every couple days) and things just felt tense. now we have had bad arguments in the past, nothing has ever been over serious subject matter, and they always resolved themselves. this time has felt weird and different though. even though we talked and resolved the issue, she has felt pretty distant and lackluster with me. her persona with me has seemed to almost do a 180. the normal silly, fun, affectionate, cant-wait-to-see-me girlfriend of the past 6 months now feels detached and forced a bit. i asked her about it and she says that ever since the last fight, she hasnt felt close to me, even though the air has definitely been cleared. i have been home for the past few days since then and we havent really talked too much and the communication we have had via text and a phone call or two, seemed pretty unenthusiastic on her end.

before this past fight, and an underlying issue i had suspected from previous fights, (it's never about what it's about) was that for a couple weeks before i lost my job, things had been a little boring and routine/apathetic i guess, even though we both still had fun and she seemed genuinely happy. the intimacy was sparse because of issues i was having, but everything else was in place.

i truly feel like me dropping the ball with that made her feel undesired and disappointed in me and started a slow downhill spiral. it fueled her frustration with me i know as well as added to her own stress in life. i feel so awful about this and the fact that i may have inadvertently ruined our recently great relationship. i am so in love with her and this would eat me alive to lose her.

is there any advice on here from anyone or has anyone has similar experience?

 

thanks in advance.

[Gaeta]

I am readng that you had a fight, that you had previous fights before that and that's not good news for such a short relationship. What is this underlying issue?

[kassy]

It doesn't sound like you guys communicate well. That's a lot of fighting for a new relationship!

 

If the relationship is going to work then you two need to communicate better. With my current boyfriend one of the things I love about being with him is how easy it is to discuss the difficult crap that comes with life. It might not always be fun, but we deal with the real issues before they become monster issues and are able to then move on being happy together. This has not been the case (at least not to the same extent) with past boyfriends and honestly it's amazing.

 

So learn about effective communication because right now that's clearly not what is happening in your relationship. Also talk about the actual issue not pussy foot around it.

[ExpatInItaly]

Agreed with the others; this is too much fighting for such a young relationship. Not a great sign.

 

While you say the air has been cleared from the past argument, that is evidently not the case for her at all. She is feeling resentful or disappointed, hurt, some combination of all three.

 

What was the last fight about exactly, and what is the underlying issue you refer to?