Popsicle Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Started talking with a man online. We are both attracted to each other but he is 47 with a 3 year old. My kids are almost out of the house. Am I crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Yup I wouldn't go there......... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Well, do you want to be involved in raising a child? What sort of custody does he have? Some people love children, and this wouldn't be crazy for them. Me? I would be running for the hills like my hair was on fire. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Started talking with a man online. We are both attracted to each other but he is 47 with a 3 year old. My kids are almost out of the house. Am I crazy? no, not really. if you dig each other then it's all good. his ex will probably have his kid most of the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 I would date him, I miss my son being a baby and later, school age years were wonderful, and I loved raising him (he's 16). I'd probably be game. But that's not for everyone so if you feel you don't want to deal with raising a kid all over again, don't date him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 The last man I dated was 48 when we started dating, 49 when we split, and he has two very young children as well (mine are teens). I gotta tell you, as time went on I was kinda like, "why did I get into this?" I met his children and enjoyed them very much, but the long term responsibility of adding two more kids to my mix if we'd ended up getting married or whatever really scared me, and I doubt I'd do that again. We did not break up because of the children at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 We did not break up because of the children at all. so why did you break up CO? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 Yeah, I really have to think about this...what I want. I don't want to offend him, but I really not wanting to raise kids all over again. What sort of custody does he have? Not sure yet. I'm not sure it matters. I know at the very least he has a couple of weekends a month, maybe even every weekend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 no, not really. if you dig each other then it's all good. his ex will probably have his kid most of the time. Why do you say this? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 no, not really. if you dig each other then it's all good. his ex will probably have his kid most of the time. I guess the odds are that most dad's do not have primary custody. But my dad did. I slept at his house every night except for some weeks during the summer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 He told me he was picking his son up to spend the weekend together. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Why do you say this? because most likely his ex will have the kid most of the time Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 (edited) Started talking with a man online. We are both attracted to each other but he is 47 with a 3 year old. My kids are almost out of the house. Am I crazy? no you arent crazy .....love is crazy...follows attraction or goes wherever and to whomever feels it...no matter the situation....or time ...or place...or age....or young kids attached.......deb Edited November 30, 2017 by todreaminblue 2 Link to post Share on other sites
viatori patuit Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Eh, its what you make of it. Kids can be a PITA. I am married now to a woman with two small kids. I met one when one was four and one was 7 months old (dad took off when she was pregnant). There are days where I would like to duct tape them to a wall in the closet, and days they are a blast to be around. I just don't think perfect compatibility exists. There are always friction points in a relationship. I would prefer kids to say money or sexual issues. It is up to you though if the situation is worth it. So, are you ready to mother a 3 year old? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 For me, it's too young, but not completely out of the question if this guy turns out to be perfect. I would be okay, maybe, with a 6th grader (12ish), but loathe the junior high years and who knows how they'll be as teens. A biggie for me is if they can fend for themselves, so you don't always have to work around a sitter. Other issues are extracurricular activities. To not have to run around like a crazy person and spend a ton of money on the activities is great! I'm guessing you're not on the market for producing more offspring, so another issue is if this man wants more children. I'm quasi seeing a guy who has a special needs child, and that's a big thing to consider. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Pretty unfair though when you think that just about every women a guy meets from 35ish upward is gonna have kids he;ll have to deal with. You see it on date sites to , they literally ask he doesn't have kids but hang on , she has 3 and you have to love too. My view , l mean sure, l'd rather she didn't have young kids , tbh l'd rather she didn't have any, or one maybe. But hell if l fell in love with somebody that did well , we just gonna have to go with it and make the most of us l guess, that's ok. l know it's only a few dates yet so it mightn't even matter anyway. But if you fell in love then so what , ya deal with that too. love don't grow on trees right. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Pretty unfair though when you think that just about every women a guy meets from 35ish upward is gonna have kids he;ll have to deal with. You see it on date sites to , they literally ask he doesn't have kids but hang on , she has 3 and you have to love too. My view , l mean sure, l'd rather she didn't have young kids , tbh l'd rather she didn't have any, or one maybe. But hell if l fell in love with somebody that did well , we just gonna have to go with it and make the most of us l guess, that's ok. l know it's only a few dates yet so it mightn't even matter anyway. But if you fell in love then so what , ya deal with that too. love don't grow on trees right. Yeah, it's true, but it is also terrifying to think of it long term.....double the college expenses, weddings, taxi driving all over the place lol. I don't know. I'm 45 and in the "home stretch" with my kids both in high school. I have no desire to date someone who has never had kids, but I prefer someone also in the home stretch or older than me with grown kids so we can just look forward to grandkids together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I guess it's a double edged sword - put kids into the fold and you have a quadruple edged one. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I don't think it's unfair. No matter the circumstance, you're not going to pursue someone who has a "thing" you simply don't want. That's reality. Some things are going to be deal-breakers while other situations are more of a gray area. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted December 3, 2017 Author Share Posted December 3, 2017 I thought I’d come and update. I decided that I couldn’t do long-distance so I guess that solved the problem. I guess I’ll have to wait until I get there to date. Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 My last relationship ended because of my exes 32 year old daughter. She mounted a long term campaign against me and in the end she won. I wish he'd had a 3 year old instead. Would have been much easier. No more men with kids though. I'd rather be single. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted December 3, 2017 Author Share Posted December 3, 2017 My last relationship ended because of my exes 32 year old daughter. She mounted a long term campaign against me and in the end she won. I wish he'd had a 3 year old instead. Would have been much easier. No more men with kids though. I'd rather be single. Not all men and their older kids are that way. You can tell fairly early how they’re going to be if you pay close attention and are honest with yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 Not all men and their older kids are that way. You can tell fairly early how they’re going to be if you pay close attention and are honest with yourself. So true. She was a nasty piece of work from day 1. And he was pathetic with her. I should have paid closer attention. On me that I didn't. I thought love was enough. Nope. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 Started talking with a man online. We are both attracted to each other but he is 47 with a 3 year old. My kids are almost out of the house. Am I crazy? He can be a friend, but if you're done with small children, keep him as a friend and that's it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted December 3, 2017 Author Share Posted December 3, 2017 He can be a friend, but if you're done with small children, keep him as a friend and that's it. Well there is one exception I would make, and that is for widowers. My heart goes out to them too much... Link to post Share on other sites
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