JustGettingBy Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 Okay, as the title says I got stood up by a woman I met on OLD. Later that same day, she messaged me with an apology, saying she was still interested. In your experience, is it best to give a second chance or to just leave someone who flakes like that? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 Okay, as the title says I got stood up by a woman I met on OLD. Later that same day, she messaged me with an apology, saying she was still interested. In your experience, is it best to give a second chance or to just leave someone who flakes like that? i'd give her one more chance but that's it Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 Did she give a reason for standing you up? I think there's a difference between being stood up (no show) and cancelling the date (messaging earlier in the day and rescheduling). Your time is valuable. Unless there was something really major that didn't allow her to contact you, I'd be inclined toward leaving this one. Although she did message later so if she really is still interested go for it but don't expect too much. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 Did she give a reason for standing you up? And for being unable to contact you? Standing someone up without notification is an egregious thing to do and chances are she's not worth another minute of your time. The only exception would be something like an auto accident on the way, or emergency hospitalization. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 I'd pass. You've never met her before and she's already stood you up. That's all I need to know about somebody. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustGettingBy Posted November 12, 2017 Author Share Posted November 12, 2017 It was a straight stand-up. If she contacted before saying we needed to reschedule because something came up I would have immediately agreed. She mentioned social plans being the reason, and wanted to meet up right away. Since this was like 6 hours after, I was going off to other plans, and told her I wasn't canceling those, but am free to reschedule for next week. Short version: she didn't show, messaged me hours later with an apology when I was busy wanting to meet immediately. I said I'm not free now, but maybe another day. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 Happened to me twice (one was more of a late cancellation). Both times I didn't make mention of it and just moved on. They both popped back up after a few days and apologized, they said if I still wanted to go out we could go wherever I wanted, they bought me drinks, etc. I'm ok with that. For me, if someone cancels, then it's up to them to try and reschedule and work around you. If they cancel and then expect you to do the heavy lifting again, I'd move on. But that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 I think that agreeing to meet her again after being stood up like that will indicate that you have low standards. For that reason, I wouldn't bother giving her another chance, because chances are she will do it again. In fact, I would probably block her, so next time she tries to contact you, she realizes that she blew it, and why. It may not benefit you exactly, but perhaps she will learn not to treat the next guy with the same disrespect. I guess it depends on how much you value good manners and respect from the woman you date. You may be willing to overlook that for a one night stand, but not if you are looking for a potential girlfriend. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 It was a straight stand-up. If she contacted before saying we needed to reschedule because something came up I would have immediately agreed. She mentioned social plans being the reason, and wanted to meet up right away. Since this was like 6 hours after, I was going off to other plans, and told her I wasn't canceling those, but am free to reschedule for next week. Short version: she didn't show, messaged me hours later with an apology when I was busy wanting to meet immediately. I said I'm not free now, but maybe another day. No way. Not even a call before standing you up and she said social plans being the reason? Weak excuse. I would never talk to her again. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 how many times do we schedule something even half-way important to us....to where the other person has to go out of their way....and we *know*....beforehand.....that our meeting.... it takes *their* time and effort to do what we had planned them that *we* agreed we would do....and then....we let them go ahead and do what we agreed to do.....without us.....and us *not* giving them notice before hand....than we *can't* make it? Sure....it's happened...but....sooo rarely.....in our *lives*... Unless you just have absolutely nothing better to do....I just don't believe she's a very thoughtful human being. this stuff doesn't happen. We don't do it to our families....friends.....strangers.....Why is it that.....only when it comes to dating is it that....people ask...."Is this ok?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 I'd pass. You've never met her before and she's already stood you up. That's all I need to know about somebody. exactly lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 So she more than likely blew you off to go on a date with someone else at that time, who she thought was more attractive and it appears that date may not have gone well. Hell no. Don't contact her again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 It was a straight stand-up. If she contacted before saying we needed to reschedule because something came up I would have immediately agreed. She mentioned social plans being the reason, and wanted to meet up right away. Since this was like 6 hours after, I was going off to other plans, and told her I wasn't canceling those, but am free to reschedule for next week. Short version: she didn't show, messaged me hours later with an apology when I was busy wanting to meet immediately. I said I'm not free now, but maybe another day. No dice! She's seeing other men and got conflict with you and someone special to her. So she chosen the other guy. Do not contact her let her contact you. But still have options open because she'll do it again she got away with it with you. I would never accept this. No second changes first impression goes a long way. What happen if this was job interview and you were expecting her to show-up for that interview. Would you give her a second chance nope! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 She could have messaged before hand. I would say no to future dates here that is just rude. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 It's rude! Certainly she could have contacted you ahead of time so you didn't make effort. Then she expects YOU to be available again at the drop of a hat? Glad you said no. Don't waste your time...she's rude and inconsiderate. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 It was a straight stand-up. She mentioned social plans being the reason, and wanted to meet up right away. Social plans? No sh*t? In other words, she actually told you that you got preempted by someone else, and didn't even bother to cancel. Sorry. Nope. You gotta protect your own dignity, man. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 sorry ,my mistake. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 If there is a change in plans and they can't meet up and they don't call? Block. I refuse to deal with them any longer. I'm not so hard up to date that I'll take that kind of disrespect for my time. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 Social plans? No sh*t? In other words, she actually told you that you got preempted by someone else, and didn't even bother to cancel. Sorry. Nope. You gotta protect your own dignity, man. Yep ^^^^ She was likely on a date the same day and couldn't cancel because she was having fun and lost track of time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PhilHarper Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 6 hours later? Lol I wouldn't even respond. My vote is delete and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Okay, as the title says I got stood up by a woman I met on OLD. Later that same day, she messaged me with an apology, saying she was still interested. In your experience, is it best to give a second chance or to just leave someone who flakes like that? I rarely if ever give a 2nd chance, usually I don't if they flake last minute or never contact me at all. One guy completely flaked on me w/out saying anything. He found me on another app begging for a 2nd chance. The date never happened, wasn't super into him anyways. Another guy flaked on me last minute. He asked for a 2nd chance and I obliged. He planned a trip w/his friend, so he cut the date short. I found that rude and a total waste of time. Don't give her another chance, if she really wanted to see you, she would have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustGettingBy Posted November 15, 2017 Author Share Posted November 15, 2017 You've made the consensus clear everyone. I'm gonna listen to the majority here and leave it be. Thanks to all who posted. Link to post Share on other sites
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