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Seeing this girl but she's still sleeping with her ex


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Old 10th November 2017, 2:25 PM   #16
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If she had any real interest in you she certainly wouldn't tell you about having sex with her ex.

Telling someone you're dating about the other people you're sleeping with isn't "taking it slow". It's a quite tasteless way to communicate you're not interested in anything serious.
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Old 10th November 2017, 3:28 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by 2much4 View Post
If she had any real interest in you she certainly wouldn't tell you about having sex with her ex.

Telling someone you're dating about the other people you're sleeping with isn't "taking it slow". It's a quite tasteless way to communicate you're not interested in anything serious.

Exactly. It tells you precisely who she is. Not only does she think it's acceptable to be schtupping multiple guys at once, she tells you about it as if she has no clue whatsoever as to how it will make you feel. Bottom line... clueless to the extreme, or just does't give a sh*t, or more likely both.

If you had the ability to not give a sh*t either then you might be able to enjoy the easy sex, but you're already attached and becoming invested. If you think it's painful and humiliating now, just wait 'til you're in even deeper. There's nothing but pain and humiliation in it for you.

Even if you were to have a talk and she agreed to quit banging her ex, how much confidence would you have that she actually quit vs. just quit telling you about it... not to mention knowing what you know about her predilections. Do you think she's ever going to be monogamous with you for the right reason? Nope. You already the answer to that because she told you.

Just curious... what's the situation with the ex-bf? Did she break up with him or did he break it off with her? Does he know she's banging you––does he care, or would he if he knew? I wonder what angle she's playing with him.

The smart move would be to cut it off clean and quit talking to her, but I have a feeling that you're signing up for some intensive suffering don't have the wherewithal to do what you know is best for you.

Last edited by salparadise; 10th November 2017 at 3:31 PM..
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Old 10th November 2017, 8:30 PM   #18
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Just don't kiss or sleep with her. If she says anything, tell her you can't get physical with her while she is sleeping with someone else. You don't need to lay the law down, just withhold. You might as well anyway because what have you got to lose? This way, you are subtly demanding respect and setting the ground rules. If she really likes you, she will reconsider what she is doing. However, if she has been sleeping with her ex regularly, I can't see this changing unless she falls madly in love. It is always possible she will fall in love with you, but I think you would have to show you have self-respect and will only accept exclusivity from her.
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Old 10th November 2017, 9:12 PM   #19
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She sounds low quality, but if that's what you're after I don't see the harm in saying "hey, I like you but I'm not interested in sleeping with you while you're sleeping with somebody else. Let me know if things change, but in the meantime I'm out."
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Old 14th November 2017, 10:21 AM   #20
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Hey guys

So I just wanted to give you an update. I told her that I don't want to be with her if she's still hooking up with her ex and that it's either me or him.

She promised me she'll stop seeing him and actually threw out the rest of his stuff from her apartment. She's visiting me on the weekend and genuinely keeps showing her interest by calling and texting every day.

What do you guys think of this?
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Old 14th November 2017, 10:45 AM   #21
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As a woman, I feel she isnít that into you. She wouldnít have told you about her sleeping with her ex. She might have moved his stuff out but why didnít she do it before if she was over him? At 3 months post break up, she still has feelings for him.

I think you will probably be the rebound...
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Old 14th November 2017, 11:02 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
Back away slowly. I'll create a diversion so you can make a run for it, but I can't see this ending well

Haha hilarious!! Cookies you are awesome!!!!!
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Old 14th November 2017, 11:59 AM   #23
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Hey guys

So I just wanted to give you an update. I told her that I don't want to be with her if she's still hooking up with her ex and that it's either me or him.

She promised me she'll stop seeing him and actually threw out the rest of his stuff from her apartment. She's visiting me on the weekend and genuinely keeps showing her interest by calling and texting every day.

What do you guys think of this?
Ultimatums never work. It's too soon after her break up. He lives close to her. You will be a fun rebound for her and she will be hooking up with her ex again. It's not gonna stop just like that. You will have trust issues with her that will greatly effect your relationship with her.
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Old 15th November 2017, 12:23 AM   #24
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I echo the "don't get involved advice." Id also add if you've fallen for her you may want to get some space to clear your head. Let her clear her issues with her ex as well. Look elsewhere for a GF.
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