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I am losing feelings


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Old 8th November 2017, 1:45 AM   #1
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I am losing feelings

Met this girl, sheís really cute, cool, funny, smart, out-going, has a job, is in school. Just an all around great catch. Sex is nice, sheís experimental, fun in bed, and doesnít make me do all the work.
Sounds like an ideal situation right?
Well, Iím struggling here because Iím not feeling much for her. She texts me all day every day and I take forever to reply not intentionally I just feel like texting her is more of chore.
She wants to hang out every day after she gets off work which would be cool considering sex is usually involved but even that feels like a chore. I hang out with her and canít wait until she leaves which is horrible for me and for me to do that to her. Iím feeling bad about it.
Iím trying to feel feelings for her but Iím just not? I may be depressed because honestly, I donít leave my house much these days. All that sounds fun is staying home, watching my shows, and just having the house all by myself. I donít know if Iím depressed I canít really tell all I know is that recently Iíve been enjoying just being alone and sheís interfering with that.
My sex drive isnít that high which is also another sign of depression. Iíd rather masturbate than go through all the steps that lead to sex.
Iím trying to like this girl I really am because sheís all around great but not really feeling it and I canít really explain why.


Any thoughts? Is it depression? Is it me? Anybody else experience this before?
Thanks
-Quokka
xo
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:02 AM   #2
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I think you are depressed and also feeling a bit smothered. People need space. Lastly, you might be taking her for granted. That's never good, because once she's gone, and she will be at some point, you will regret it.
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:14 AM   #3
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I think you are depressed and also feeling a bit smothered. People need space. Lastly, you might be taking her for granted. That's never good, because once she's gone, and she will be at some point, you will regret it.
Probably so. I just donít know what I want and that isnít fair to her. But like you said, I know I will regret letting her go. Iím also missing my ex girl a lot lately.
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:16 AM   #4
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It sounds like youíre depressed. Usually when someone is depressed, being around others feels like a chore because they have to put on a fake facade and appear happy and content. So withdrawing into the safety and comfort of the shell (house) becomes almost instinctive.

Try to find out why youíre depressed. Why not tell her that you feel a little down? Although itís not her job, itís good to have a partner whoís into you and might be able to get you out of that rut.


How long have you been seeing each other?


Lastly, wanna switch places with me? Iím feeling a bit down because I canít find someone decent who Iím attracted to.


In all seriousness, relationships are supposed to make us happy. Weíre social animals.


Find out why youíre depressed. Please donít take her for granted. Youíll beat yourself up later.
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:19 AM   #5
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Iím also missing my ex girl a lot lately.
Thatís not good. Are you in a rebound relationship?


You miss the comfort of the familiarity and intimacy. You can create that with this new girl. All you have to do is share your feelings with her, be more emotionally open to her.
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:22 AM   #6
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Honestly, I think this girl is needy and is smothering you. I need some space in a relationship to get things done and for some "me" time, so if I had someone both seeing me all the time and texting me all day--all before I knew I was really into them-- it would drive me up a wall. She isn't giving you the space to miss her or be excited about her.

I am less inclined to believe this is about depression.
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:24 AM   #7
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It sounds like youíre depressed. Usually when someone is depressed, being around others feels like a chore because they have to put on a fake facade and appear happy and content. So withdrawing into the safety and comfort of the shell (house) becomes almost instinctive.

Try to find out why youíre depressed. Why not tell her that you feel a little down? Although itís not her job, itís good to have a partner whoís into you and might be able to get you out of that rut.


How long have you been seeing each other?


Lastly, wanna switch places with me? Iím feeling a bit down because I canít find someone decent who Iím attracted to.


In all seriousness, relationships are supposed to make us happy. Weíre social animals.


Find out why youíre depressed. Please donít take her for granted. Youíll beat yourself up later.
I donít feel depressed like I normally do. I am able to function and go out with buddies itís just her that seems like so much work. Sheís pretty clingy and touchy and everything I do just feels fake. I more than likely AM depressed. I donít know if you caught my other comment but I am missing my ex here lately maybe that is reason for me feeling this way.
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:26 AM   #8
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Honestly, I think this girl is needy and is smothering you. I need some space in a relationship to get things done and for some "me" time, so if I had someone both seeing me all the time and texting me all day--all before I knew I was really into them-- it would drive me up a wall. She isn't giving you the space to miss her or be excited about her.

I am less inclined to believe this is about depression.
I do have history of depression but I think you may have hit the nail on the head here. Maybe sheís just not giving me enough space to be without her and wonder about her. I know her schedule and what sheís doing all the time because she tells me. I may also be depressed without realizing it due to my other issues I am experiencing mainly sex drive.
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:28 AM   #9
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Thatís not good. Are you in a rebound relationship?


You miss the comfort of the familiarity and intimacy. You can create that with this new girl. All you have to do is share your feelings with her, be more emotionally open to her.
Naw this isnít a rebound this is just me trying something with someone else. Iíve always been in love with my ex since we were in high school. Certain circumstances have made us unable to have a healthy and stable relationship which is conflicting because even though I miss her I still canít do anything about it.
But I figure sitting around not seeing anyone is just as bad.
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:46 AM   #10
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It sounds like youíre depressed. Usually when someone is depressed, being around others feels like a chore because they have to put on a fake facade and appear happy and content. So withdrawing into the safety and comfort of the shell (house) becomes almost instinctive.

Try to find out why youíre depressed. Why not tell her that you feel a little down? Although itís not her job, itís good to have a partner whoís into you and might be able to get you out of that rut.


How long have you been seeing each other?


Lastly, wanna switch places with me? Iím feeling a bit down because I canít find someone decent who Iím attracted to.


In all seriousness, relationships are supposed to make us happy. Weíre social animals.


Find out why youíre depressed. Please donít take her for granted. Youíll beat yourself up later.
So true!!!!!
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Old 8th November 2017, 6:07 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Quokka View Post
I donít feel depressed like I normally do. I am able to function and go out with buddies itís just her that seems like so much work. Sheís pretty clingy and touchy and everything I do just feels fake. I more than likely AM depressed. I donít know if you caught my other comment but I am missing my ex here lately maybe that is reason for me feeling this way.


It might seem like too much work because you have to reciprocate. When youíre out with your friends, itís a different dynamic. Itís not an exclusive relationship and you have little to no responsibility toward them.


A romantic relationship involves more responsibility. It takes more than just ďHey wanna play Halo? Or wanna go for a workout at the gym?Ē Or ďThis oneís on meĒ.


In other words, your obligations toward your friends are different from your obligations toward your girlfriend (are you guys in a committed relationship?)


Plus you have to show her a good time, romance her and make her feel special from time to time.


Itís quite possible youíre just not ready for a romantic relationship.


Some people get into a relationship and think itís as easy as taking care of a pet, but then they realize that it takes a lot more responsibility and effort to keep a relationship going, and that you have certain obligations toward the other person. In the process you have to compromise because you lose some freedoms, just like a father has an obligation toward his kids and canít just go out partying all night like he used to back in the day.


You still havenít told me how long youíve been together.
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Old 8th November 2017, 6:23 AM   #12
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I’m also missing my ex girl a lot lately.
This is the heart of your problem. You are not done mourning your ex. How long ago did you break up?

You need to break up with this current girl, what you are doing is misleading her. Obviously her feelings are growing and you can barely stand being with her. It's very unfair to this girl.

If you feel like being alone then be home alone. You are not done licking your wound so take time to do so.
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Old 8th November 2017, 10:24 AM   #13
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You are emotionally unavailable and should breakup with her. I agree with the above post, you are not ready to be a part of someone's life when feelings for your ex are lingering.
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Old 9th November 2017, 7:34 PM   #14
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Definitely your ex plays big part in how you feel right now.
You need time. And the longer you continue to pretend you're happy in this 'relationship' the worse outcome will be. Don't think you're depressed, you just feeling guilty for laying to yourself and her... If you like her, be honest, she should understand and give you space you need. If she won't understand just let her go
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Old 9th November 2017, 7:36 PM   #15
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It'd drive me crazy...the all day texting if it really is

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 9th November 2017 at 7:38 PM..
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